Sword and Bored: Teleport

I promised Jef that I would never publicly show the stick-figure sketches that he does for these comics before I draw them. And usually I understand exactly what’s going on in the sketches despite Jef’s saying that they are awful. However, when he showed me this one for the first time, I totally didn’t get it. It had nothing to do with the quality of the drawing; it had more to do with my ignorance.

I asked, “Is this a thing that happens in MMOs?” And he said that one particular MMO has this issue, and it’s hilarious to see how certain classes in that game handle it. That, of course, brings us to this week’s comic…

SnB16-teleport

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32 Comments on "Sword and Bored: Teleport"

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digi_owl
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digi_owl

Loyheta Pretty much walked away from that game after finishing the PVE storyline and finding that future quests would take me into PVP zones. Sorry, but no.

digi_owl
Guest
digi_owl

WildarX While offline, something similar could be pulled in Morrowind to easily level. This because skill xp was also level xp via some formula. So you basically had your character jump into a river, face a bridge pillar, and drop something heavy on the forward key.

BryanCo
Guest
BryanCo

Watisthis  The game in question is ArcheAge.

Are you even aware that there are games you aren’t familiar with?

Watisthis
Guest
Watisthis

I’ve never run into a game that has running XP for mounts not an ability for players to teleport others into PvP against their will.

Does the author even play MMORPGs?

WildarX
Guest
WildarX

I used to play jokes on players that used me for auto follow, especially on raids.  I’d run them into a room or cell, step out far enough to let the door close then run away until the auto follow was out of range.  Occasionally I’d run them into a lava pit at let them burn.

WildarX
Guest
WildarX

I remember leveling up swimming in EQ1 by finding a relatively safe pool or body of water, start swimming in circles and initiate auto run.  It was very useful to have an enduring breath item, but it was possible to position yourself just above the waterline as to not drown.  Let this run overnight and max out swimming.

Loyheta
Guest
Loyheta

That is just perfect. Hahaha. I remember for the brief time I played Archeage and I went into that neutral zone with all the token vendors. That place was packed with people afk grinding their riding. I remember reporting them and then I got a message back telling me they weren’t doing anything wrong. Last time I cared in that game.

ZenDadaist
Guest
ZenDadaist

Ekphrasis Damonvile  If you’re ever playing Anarchy Online and find yourself in a team with 2 or more Engineers, beware. It’ll probably turn into a beaconwarp tennis match with random other team members :p May the engi with the highest nanoinit win! (Well… until 18.7 which made nanoinit no longer affect teleport and grid nanos.)

ZenDadaist
Guest
ZenDadaist

Snerk. Well, if levelling your riding is that long and tedious that setting it off afk is the preferred method, you may need to re-evaluate your game’s skill-up system. 
Mind you in a non-pvp zone I’m surprised you can just teleport random other players without their consent as a hostile action. Unless you can jump into their team and then use a force teleport mechanism? I dunno what game this is ribbing, so no clue :p

Ekphrasis
Guest
Ekphrasis

Damonvile

I was the victim a couple of times with some cheeky friends. AFK for quick bio/drink etc. and I’d find myself at the highest point on the map, at the very edge/corner of the map, dead as you mention – or being the ball in a game of teleport tennis. All in fun of course.
Good times.

Vunak
Guest
Vunak

JonBuck Vunak shadowblender
Ha! Don’t make me laugh. As if you barbarians could devise a plan intelligent enough to pull off something like that! Always charging into battle without thinking things through!

JonBuck
Guest
JonBuck

Vunak shadowblender On the other hand, should anyone get in melee range of you mages between spells…

Vunak
Guest
Vunak

shadowblender Dont worry. If we are in a generous mood, we will leave a mob or two for you barbarians with your swords and daggers; such crude means of dispatching prey. Simpletons.

EO_Lonegun
Guest
EO_Lonegun

At first I thought you were making fun of gamers falling asleep at the keyboard. Something I have done many times during those really late night gaming sessions. I have even fallen asleep in dungeons and raids.

shadowblender
Guest
shadowblender

CrowingOne Massivelyop need to do a kickstarter and make this mmo!

shadowblender
Guest
shadowblender

Mages…

You have to wear some heavy armors  for protection that would make even a military tank look light and swing your FF like sword many times to finish some mob, then a mage shows up and uses some AOE  unexplainable spell and kills a wave of mobs in his bathrobe after he got out of the shower.

wolfyseyes
Guest
wolfyseyes

The Dozy Horseman gets his due. I love it.
Though to be fair, is it his fault for being exploitative, or the fault of the designers who created a grindy metric?

Wratts
Guest
Wratts

jefreahard Wratts ah yeah.  There’s actually a “safe teleport” option or something that prevents using other people’s portals.  I turned that on in the first week or so when people were putting portals on top of quest NPCs

bossrprouse
Guest
bossrprouse

I bet some people wished they could do that to us bards that tried to do that in the bazaar in EQ.

Luxxicon
Guest
Luxxicon

DarkFall and swimming….

Estranged
Guest
Estranged

What you do as a Mage in WoW is take gold for a teleport and send them to the wrong place. Good times.

jefreahard
Guest
jefreahard

Wratts In ArcheAge, people who are trying to afk level their mounts typically leave them running forward against an embankment or a fence or inside a building. All you have to do to mess with them is open a portal on top of them and in they go.

Unless XL/Trion have patched that out in the three months or so since I quit.

camelotcrusade
Guest
camelotcrusade

Ha.  Reminds me a little bit of a bugged dialog in Sentinel’s Fate in EQ2.  There was this platform where you talked to a wizard who would teleport you to various instances.  One of the choices was bugged, and when you said NO, I don’t want to go to X, it took you there anyway.  It was fun to tell first-timers to talk to the NPC while you were sitting around waiting for the group to come together… and then watch them suddenly get on a cloud and zip away, seeing them wail “I picked NO!” in the chat.  
Even funnier was the fact that this instance had a heroic encounter that spawned and attacked you if you moved off the platform you landed on.  Unless you zoned out without moving, you were likely going to splat.   If you were nice, you kept the joke at the first part and told them what to do.  If you weren’t, well… splat.

woolydub
Guest
woolydub

We used to do this with Mesmers to the bots in GW2 before they separated the loot button from the interact button. We’d set the first portal up in a corner with no mobs and then run over to the bots. They’d all try to loot and end up through the portal. Quality entertainment.

TierlessTime
Guest
TierlessTime

I miss UO style traps :(

Wratts
Guest
Wratts

What game still has non-consensual teleport?  I remember it in CoH but not since then.
I’m guessing the afk horse training is DFUW?

Jay_Bird
Guest
Jay_Bird

CrowingOne How much is an early access pack? Take my money!

syberghost
Guest
syberghost

Damonvile I used to do this to anybody who sent me an unsolicited team invite.

CthulhuDawg
Guest
CthulhuDawg

I lol’d +internets

Darthbawl
Guest
Darthbawl

The staff can’t mention this is sounding very much like Archeage? ROFL  Guess you guys need to CYA, I don’t blame ya.

Damonvile
Guest
Damonvile

lol totally reminds of me of CoH when you could teleport your friends. When my friends would go afk I’d fly up to the top of the map and hover over a group of mobs. Then teleport my friend to me. They’d of course fall. The fall wouldn’t kill them, they’d land with one health but…be in the middle of a swarm of mobs that would kill them :)

They ruined all my fun when they added the accept telport option, but I always managed to get a new character once or twice before they’d remember to turn that back on….good times.

Ramellan
Guest
Ramellan

Mcstabsalot strikes again!

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