WRUP: The definitive tier list for the old men hanging out at the corner deli edition

Garbage Tier: Jim-Bob
None of Jim-Bob’s rants go anywhere, his grandchild pictures are severely lacking, his accent is grating, and worst of all is that all he ever orders is black coffee and a pickle. Completely worthless in any competitive match.

Bottom Tier: Moishe, Andy, Piotr
Moishe is basically Hiram with slower speech and an ugly walker with halved tennis balls, while Andy and Piotr both have fun stories but only a handful of them. In addition, Piotr’s mid-range control options are weak enough that he does poorly in several matchups.

Mid-Tier: George, Jimmy, Junior, Hiram, Joey
People have argued that George and Junior should really be down at bottom tier, because when they get a bad matchup against, say, Carl or “Boats,” they really have a hard time holding up. But they can all hold their own, and George especially is so dominant against Piotr that it feels wrong putting him in the same tier. Plus, all of them always have candy.

Top Tier: Petey, Carl, “Boats,” Lou
No one would argue with Lou or “Boats” being here. Lou has so many great stories about being in public works for 47 years that he almost gets up to perfect tier, and Carl and “Boats” have a few dominant matchups and no really bad ones. Also, Petey and Carl both have those really nice walkers.

Perfect Tier: Malone, Gus
Not only are these two the undisputed kings of the deli, they even show up for comments in What Are You Playing. What a pair of guys, am I right?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): ​It’s gonna be a busy social weekend. I’m more on my feet now, so that means some Pokemon Go is happening, including (gasp) Mewtwo raid #4! I want to do more Monster Hunter World, and I admit, I may have some Fire Emblem Heroes too because I got super lucky and pulled the new Hector (and still have managed to avoid paying for gatchas this event).

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): If I game this weekend, it’ll probably be Ultima Online or Trove. I’ve been consistently logging into UO and I’m not sure why I keep picking it over everything else I keep installed. It’s fun but lonely.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): It’s a long weekend for me, so my main goals are doing a whole bunch of things in Final Fantasy XIV and World of Warcraft. I also still haven’t gotten started on Final Fantasy XII yet, and the Secret of Mana remake is out too… bah.

Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): Last week I disappointed myself by not making time to try out Closers Online, so I’m going to make that a priority this weekend. Probably. Maybe. Most definitely. Otherwise, I’m chugging through Hildibrand quests in FFXIV, chipping away at my Argus quest log in World of Warcraft, and going on a date with MJ in Dungeons & Dragons Online which will probably result in mass casualties. Maybe. Most definitely.

MJ Guthrie (@MJ_Guthrie, blog): I would like to say that I have all these grand plans to enjoy a handful of my favorite games and get many things done, but in reality I am pretty sure I will be in ARK: Survival Evolved for an unhealthy amount of time getting the elevator system to finally work at our waterfall community. Which is what I tried to do for the entirety of last weekend, and every spare moment this week. It will work! And then I plan to breed some baby ravagers with the Valentine’s event, and maybe I will get to raise a baby giant crab if the gang was successful at a tame of each.

Pierre, patron: Monster Hunter World occupies most of my time these days, and I’m dressing it with some PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds for an alternate flavor. WoW is on the menu too, but definitely only to fill the rare morsels of free time left. In brief, I’m having a very good time gaming this weekend. Enjoy your weekend too, MOP readers.

DK, patron: This week I cut back on the variety of games while still adding a new thing or two. I stopped into Grand Theft Auto Online for the free 250k coming at the end of the month, hit up the static session of Divinity: Original Sin 2 and made good progress (and had some really good battles with epic combos), hit up some casual Heroes of the Storm, stopped into Space Engineers to watch my buddies’ progress on their asteroid base, and may get into some Avernum 3 as well as the Sea of Thieves stress test. Staxel is also calling my name; we’re considering a big guild play together for that, which might be nice.

Your turn!

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142 Comments on "WRUP: The definitive tier list for the old men hanging out at the corner deli edition"

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mistressbrazen

Working on the agent class in SWTOR. People say the story is interesting. Wish they could have developed that game without the excessive number of “kill 40 rats” bonus missions. Consular class finished, smuggler on last fight of the class story. Bounty Hunter is in Chapter 2. That story is so-so. Grand kid’s Knight and Sith Inquisitor will never get above 20 (he despises those side bonus missions. Does the 9 year old know something Bioware doesn’t?).

For what it’s worth Black Panther is AWESOME!

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Maggie May

Order me a Montreal smoked meat sandwich and classic (spellchecked to clavicle) poutine and a pickle!

Currently running around Tamriel to get all the precurser prices to get a clockwork training dummy for my castle, at least that’s what I think I’m doing.

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mysecretid

Eliot, I think you’ve really outdone yourself with the WRUP this time.

Not only is this delicatessen piece absurdly funny, it’s also a nicely-subtle bit of satire aimed at the “self-seriousness” of e-sports. Great job!

What R I Playing?

This past week, I seemed to be the gamer on a mission.

In World of Warcraft, I have been loving the Suramar storyline, and have been busily chasing that plotline to its conclusion (“Free Suramar! Down with Elisande!”) before I move on to the moon of Argus, and a final throwdown against the invading demon-hordes of the Legion expansion.

In Star Trek: Online, I managed to get my hands on one of the Walker-class Light Exploration Cruisers as seen in the Star Trek: Discovery series (Phillipa Georgiou’s U.S.S. Shenzhou is a Walker-class starship).

I’ve been putting together a crew I find interesting, and outfitting them with Discovery-themed uniforms and gear — and so far, I’ve been having a blast.

Have a great week everyone. Be kind to yourselves, please. You’re the only one we’ve got.

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Armsbend

The Suramar storyline is great but I can’t stand traversing in and out of that city they lost. And it’s way to much purple. I just finished getting revered and fully completed their storyline – I was happy to see it end honestly >.>

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mysecretid

Everybody likes differently things; I totally get that.

I readily confess that the “stealthing through Suramar” bits could quickly turn annoying — especiially in the early stages — because it seemed like there was a “disguise detector” every six feet you moved — you suddenly ended up fighting everybody and their (demon) dog on a moment’s notice if you took a wrong turn, and constantly rezzing is not fun.

But, overall, I enjoyed the story quite a lot, and that it all ultimately led to something.

I’m still trying to complete the final raid section-piece “The Nighthold: Lord of the Shadow Council” for the final (?) PvE mission, but I think that will tie up the tale.

Oh, and don’t get me started on Blizzard’s odious habit of putting the endings to ongoing PvE storylines behind a raid-wall — I could slap people for that one!

While the ability to play through only the raid-piece that you need for your quest with the Looking For Group (Raid) tool does help — the truth is, once the majority of players have moved on past the raid section you need to do — which has definitely happened already with Suramar — trying to find a raid queue which will “pop” regularly, even on weekends, can be maddening.

Cheers,

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Utakata

This week: I am sorely tempted to go see Black Panther…

“But Uta, this movie isn’t about Pink Panth…”

…joking aside, I think this movie will do to more enlighten my pigtails than anything.

You see, I am not the one for really going out in public, as my small stature tend to makes me prone to getting trodden on. And I am not a very sociable animal to begin with, as most my friends and family attest too. But when I see something that’s a must see, I tend forgo the pleasantries and comfort of my safe space and venture out to the bigger world. Sure, I may get a bloody nose, but most of the times it’s far worth it. As well as I usually come back in one piece. So this is something I must do….

Also, I’ve been told this movie is quite good from a variety of reliable sources.

This week also: I must apologies to Mr. rafael for my absenteeism from Blade & Soul. I was tending to a newly max level Goblin Disc Priest in WoW. But with some of the goals I’ve met with her, and the souring taste of Argus (I am pretty sure that’s Draenei for “Asinine”), my pigtails will venture back LynStar soon enough. But be warned, my friend wants to Boost my Goblin Frost Mage…so that cycle may repeat itself again. Sorry. :(

But thank you for you patience with and previous help with me. You have no idea how that’s appreciated, Mr. rafael. /bows

Have a great week and weekend folks!

Also reading: Children of the Whales….and no, it’s not about well healed players in Star Citizen. o.O

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children_of_the_Whales

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mysecretid

I’ve been hearing from a numbet of sources that Black Panther is a better movie than it might appear to be at first glance.

For whatever it might be worth. I hope you enjoy!

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Morgan

Mostly LoL cause its about the only game I can play at my internet cafe. But I dive into GW2 every now and again. Gonna be playing some Tale of Toast soon enough. Also Ive been trying to download Aion but my internet is just too bad (Australia) rip.

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Skardon

I’ve been reading MOP/Massively-that-was almost everyday since 2009, but I haven’t played an MMO in probably 5 years. I can’t explain this.

My WRUP has flat lined.

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mysecretid

As a non-young guy, I can only offer that gaming can come and go as a hobby, often based on what else might be catching your attention in life, or what else you feel you need in your life.

I’ve found that it’s best not to force it. Play when you feel like playing; don’t when you don’t.

I doubt gaming as entertainment is going anywhere, so live your life as you choose, and don’t sweat it.

Games will be here, if you suddenly feel you want them again, and Massively will be here for the foreseeable future to keep you informed, I’m sure.

Cheers,

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zoward

I’ve been sick on and off for a few weeks now. Right now is part of the “on” phase. The upside is that I have some extra time to game (since I’m not much good for anything else at this point).
I started, and finished Goetia. It’s a puzzle game where you the ghost of a 12-year-old girl trapped in her ancestral home, and her anscestors were all into summoning demons. You have to figure out why you came back by exploring the environs. It reminded me of a cross between Gone Home and The Secret World‘s investigation mssions. The puzzles were pretty tough, and the atmopsphere is suitably creepy.
Meanwhile, I’m merrily LotRO‘ing away in the Treasure Hunt Base Camp. Have a ncie weekend!

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mysecretid

Get better! That’s a (benign) order!

I never would’ve pegged you as a “spooky games” type of guy, but I’m glad that you found some new fun!

Cheers,

K38FishTacos
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K38FishTacos

Funny intro! I read the whole thing.

Kingdom Come Deliverance
Civ VI
WoW (just leveling alts, kind of like playing solitaire for me)
My Time at Portia

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Jack Pipsam

I decided to re-sub to retail WoW last week, so I was playing that and really enjoying myself… then my PC died, poof.
Was attempting to do something with fan-cables and in the process my motherboard just died on me, so I cannot turn the computer on. Now it’s down at the repair shop >.>

So been spending the last few days being a naughty boy and playing on a Vanilla WoW server, because Vanilla WoW is one of the only things which runs on my family PC without it freaking out. (HP Gaming yo’~)
I tried playing retail WoW with all the graphics turned down, but even then it chugs like a freight train, so all I could do was go fishing with my Shaman for a while.

Normally I never touch any kind of emulator, but despite times call for despite measures. Also helps I found an Australian one, so the ping is vastly better in this illegal server than say SWTOR lol.

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mysecretid

Yikes, Jack. I’m sorry that happened to you.

It sucks whenever one’s main rig dies unexpectedly (yup, it’s happened to me too — twice).

Here’s hoping that you can replace your main rig sooner than later, without too much of a hit to your bank account.

Best to ya, pal,

Cheers,

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Hirku

Spent my week with all the usual suspects. Found another one of those silly out-of-the-way moments in WoW that never fail to charm me. I set myself the goal of thoroughly exploring every nook and cranny of Stormwind, and when I volunteered to assist a magician teaching some young students I got turned into this for five minutes. I don’t use fist weapons, I AM the fist weapon!

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mysecretid

As much as WoW’s sense of humor can end up as “Dad Jokes” (or poop quests, for reasons I still can’t understand), when their sense of whimsey works (as here), it’s not quite like any other game.

These pics are hilarious. Definitely keepers.

Hope you are well, Hirku,

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Utakata

I was going to ask where the rest of you was… O.o