The Daily Grind: Which MMO has the dumbest armor?

Back in February, PC Gamer put out a piece on the absolute dumbest character armor in gaming history. There’s more than one MMORPG in the list, including World of Warcraft (Arthas’ Lich King armor) and Lineage 2 (Dark Elf string armor). Bizarrely, City of Heroes made the roster too for that one dude from The Lost faction with a TV helmet. The best part is the commentary from an actual real-life armorer (they’re basically all the equivalent of “you’ll shoot your eye out, kid”).

I thought it would be fun to dig further into MMOs for even more dumb armor. Me, I’ll vote for anything where the shoulders would poke me in the eye, anything I would legit wear clubbing, and anything that proves definitively that the designer has no idea how actual boobs work.

Which MMO has the dumbest armor? Post pics if you have them!

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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87 Comments on "The Daily Grind: Which MMO has the dumbest armor?"

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Schlag Sweetleaf

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Utakata

I think Mr. Schlag should do Goldilocks and the Three Bears entirely in hacked gifs at some point. <3

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Oleg Chebeneev

Haha, dis is gud one

deekay_plus
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deekay_plus

i like the full clown colour version best. also with the massive belt buckle. :D

Minimalistway
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Minimalistway

Happy to see you around, this gave me a good laugh .. thank you :-D

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rafael12104

Well, in this MMO world of transmog and outfits, you can go with just about any look and call it armor. But is it really armor when something else has the underlying stats? I’ll let you ponder.

So, BnS, my current MMO home, is certainly no exception. In fact, it may be the worst offender. Women warriors in bikinis? Ah! I scoff at thee. BnS has an entire summer fashion set dedicated to that.

BUT it’s in the realm of bathroom attire where that BnS excels. I won’t post the guys version of an open robe revealing a man-kini. But I do submit this entry from an event this year, a towel. Yup, a towel and some shower sandals. How about that as your armor?

It’s Sharknado funny. You don’t even have to say it is stupid as it is a given.

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Minimalistway
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Minimalistway

Magical towel i see, with all action combat and running around, the most important state is: +100 Notfalling

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Utakata

It’s probably going to set a trend of armor that looks like it’s about to fall off. #WardrobeMalfunction :(

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Tobasco da Gama

IIRC, Vindictus had armour that literally would malfunction and fall off if you took too many hits.

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rafael12104

Don’t give them any ideas. Lol

Funny thing about this towel. It is remarkably tight fighting in flight.

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Bruno Brito

I can vote Tera ok, as you can see it’s shit.

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Luciano Antonio

Warhammer Online had weird armor sets… imo

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Bruno Brito

Really? I think it looks awesome. Better than anything WoW ever came up with.

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Bryan Correll

The Lost TV helmet is on of the most awesome pieces of armor ever. Stupid? Yeah. But awesome.

Loyheta
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Loyheta

I usually transmog my armor to burning crusade era gear. Back when the designs tended to be simple and elegent… now it looks like a dumpster exploded and everything is so busy, visually.

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Space Captain Zor

Can’t believe only one person has mentioned SWTOR’s helmets… lol

mosselyn
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mosselyn

Man, the original counselor armor…Ping pong paddles on your hands, a coat rack on your shoulders, and a bottle opener on your head. Probably the worst looking set of armor I’ve ever owned.

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Bryan Correll

Most actual helmets aren’t so bad, but most of the non-armored hats are ridiculous.

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Space Captain Zor

Case in point… xD

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Simon F

I don’t remember which game it was, but my character was basically more clothed when I didn’t have armor on due to the underwear. Similar to what veldara showed in the picture from Tera, except it was worse.
Asian MMORPGs in general have the female armor sets that are somehow more protecting the less they cover. All while male characters have armor sets that look like they wouldn’t even be able to move. I think the contrast between the two is the most problematic. If the top tier armor was a bikini for females and trunks or speedos for males, then it would be much more acceptable than metal bikini vs shiny tin can.

Veldan
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Veldan

Exactly. I would prefer that both sexes move towards a middle ground. A bit less “bikini model” for female armor and a bit less “metal juggernaut” for male.

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John Mynard

It all has to do with cultural expectations of what is attractive. Males generally like big boobs, narrow(ish) waists and wider, wide hips and the associated rounder derriere. Whereas, women like broad chests, narrower hips and muscular arms and legs and tight muscular buttocks. Skimpy armor is as much fanservice and cheesecake as it is marketing.

veldara
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veldara

Personally speaking I rather find WoW’s armor styling charming and iconic at this point. The oversized shoulders are the first thing many players notice and is easily the most identifiable aspect of a set. Even in WoW’s most hectic, you can roughly tell what a person is playing just by the shoulders alone.

I think it’s a bit unfair of me to single out Tera since it’s a problem for many asian mmos, but I’ll do it anyway. I absolutely dislike bikini armor, it is such an immersion breaker for me and frankly off-putting that it’s one of the rare moments that I would drop a title for visuals alone.

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Bruno Brito

Scarlet Blade.

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Utakata

Yeah…those outfits are in a pinch. :(

A personal note to Mr. Schlag: Could you make a gif splicing the picture above and those totem shoulders of that Orc below. I think that would sum up nicely most of our beefs with ingame armor quite nicely! o.O

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Brother Maynard

splicing the picture above and those totem shoulders of that Orc

I think it will be important to follow the order to the letter – doing it in the reverse order would most likely result in a disturbingly dressed orc.

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Utakata

…some may not think that. #mankini

Zariarn
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Zariarn

World of Warcraft

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Alex Hyer

I’m pretty sure the armor pictured above is The Best Armor. So………… its definitely not that game!

The answer is Elder Scrolls Online. Because every single set of their armor is low-poly trash for a game that should look far far better.

Weilan
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Weilan

That doesn’t make it dumb. The idea is ridiculous looking pieces of armor that make you look like a clown.

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Alex Hyer

My answer is still every piece of armor in ESO.