humor

Massively OP Podcast Episode 122: This Stormblood’s for you

On this week’s show, Justin and Bree talk about FFXIV: Stormblood’s early access launch, Destiny 2’s PC delay, Elder Scrolls Online’s next DLC drops, breaking up the trinity in MMOs, and more!

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 121: Tap for Magic MMOs

On this week’s show, Justin and Bree talk about the huge revelation of Cryptic’s Magic: The Gathering MMO, the premature demise of Bless Online, World of Warcraft’s new launch, and more!

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: Don’t act all high and mighty because you have a face edition

Carol, listen to me, I’m tired of having this argument. We keep going back and forth over it, and it always comes down to a question of who is the better person. It’s crap, and I’m sick of it. Do you understand? Don’t act all high and mighty because you have a face, Carol.

Lots of people don’t have faces, you know. It’s not just me. And it’s really offensive when you put a mask over my yawning abyss swallowing meaning and claim that it’s like a face. I am happy with who I am, Carol. I’m happy that I don’t have a face. I don’t want a face. Don’t try to change who I am like this.

I’ll meet you halfway, I’m not being inflexible. I promise you, I will do my best to not speak in the tongue which rends the veil and made your brother weep tears of blood at Thanksgiving. But please, don’t act as if having a face makes you better than me. I mean, you don’t even leave your weekend plans in What Are You Playing. Who even does that? All the cool kids leave their plans there.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 120: Steaming into summer

On this week’s show, Justin and Bree welcome summer by talking about SWTOR’s roadmap, Black Desert’s amazing Steam debut, and a troubling Shroud of the Avatar announcement, as well as a mailbag question about casual gaming.

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

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WRUP: Answering the greatest science mysteries edition

Man, science is so simple. All we really have to do is stop entrusting all of it to the scientists, right? We can just, like, make up answers to scientific questions, and then those will be the right answers and we won’t need any more science! This seems so easy. Here, let’s start, this page is about several unsolved mysteries. I can solve all of them quick!

Why is there more matter than antimatter? More matter bricks came with the kit, like with LEGO sets. Where is all the lithium? The Borg stole it. Why do we sleep? Because we’re tired, duh. How does gravity work? Magnets. Where is everyone? Out having a party you weren’t invited to. What is dark matter made of? Matter with lots of black paint. How did life begin? Magic. How do plate tectonics work? Underground robots. How do animals migrate? Time-traveling GPS systems. What is dark energy? A different sort of magic than the life-starting magic.

There, that was quick! Science is simple. Solve some more science for us down in the comments of What Are You Playing while you tell us what you’re up to over the weekend.

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The Elder Scrolls Online: Morrowind has a new trailer, and it’s all about bears

Let’s be real, here: The real new class being added for The Elder Scrolls Online: Morrowind is the War Bear. The Warden is just kind of along for the ride. But how do you get a War Bear to go along with a Warden instead of just sitting on the ground, smashing beehives and taking a nap without a care in the world?

Wonder no longer, as the newest live-acton trailer rather cutely shows the training process of a new War Bear. We should note that the video contains far fewer bears than the title may have conditioned you to think, but we also assure you that it is both adorable and worth watching. Check it out just below, and think about ursine class features. Or just think about turning your household pet into a War Bear, as there’s a whole contest for it right now.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 119: Finalest Fantasy

When does Final Fantasy become, well, final? It’s probably not going to end with Final Fantasy XIV, which shows every intention of outlasting all of us as long as it keeps pumping out Moogle plushies and Hildebrand quests. On the show today, Eliot lends his FFXIV expertise on the next step of this saga.

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: Reasons to order your badger through the mail edition

Lately, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about our new mail-order badger system. “Why should I order a badger through the mail,” you ask, “when I could simply walk to the local field and be assaulted by dozens?” And that’s a good question! But it’s one with several easy answers in list form just below.

  • Deluxe Badger-Guard Plastic Protection: Only our mail-order badgers feature Deluxe Badger-Guard Plastic Protection. What does this fantastic protection do? Who cares! You can only get it from us.
  • Very few rotting oranges: When you order from us, it’s highly likely that we will ship you an actual badger instead of a pile of rotting oranges with the approximate mass of a badger. The field, meanwhile, could just be covered in rotten oranges.
  • Sleek, glossy coat: None of our badgers actually have a sleek, glossy coat, but our stock photos do.
  • The field is for drug addicts and vagrants: If you go into the field, the State Vagrancy Police will arrest you and throw you in a cell. Is that really how you want your grandchildren to remember you?

Clearly, our mail-order badgers are the only way to go! Send a check or money order for $46.75, plus $3.00 for shipping and handling, plus $4.00 for emotional wounds, minus $1.00 for physical wounds, plus a number of dollars equal to the last digit of your zip code just for the heck of it. Also, leave your weekend plans in the comments down below, because it’s What Are You Playing time.

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Perfect Ten: Understanding MMORPG Warriors

There is always a Warrior. Every game has a Warrior. No matter what other class options it has, a Warrior is in that list. Star Wars: The Old Republic takes place in a galaxy far, far away (and thousands of years before the more well-established long time ago) where you have force adepts instead of mages or healers, operatives and Force assassins instead of rogues, and… Sith Warriors. And Sith Warriors still manage to tick off every single box on the Warrior Bingo card, which is why this is a list as opposed to just a bingo card.

I feel I have a reasonable and healthy relationship with Warriors. There are some games with Warriors I love, some with Warriors I don’t like, but in every single one I can make immediate assumptions just because it’s called a Warrior. From Guild Wars 2 to World of Warcraft, from Final Fantasy XI to Final Fantasy XIV, if you see something called a Warrior, you know what you’re getting into.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 118: Crowfall breaks up the band

Just when you think the MMO industry is predictable, it jukes and jags all over the place, tossing out surprises left and right in an attempt to shake you off its tail (or to pull you in, we haven’t decided on that one yet). Marking one of the most unpredictable news weeks of 2017, Bree and Justin ride out westerns, space operas, and fantasies with aplomb.

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: The field guide to fighting skeleton dinosaurs edition

Allosaurus fragilis: Make sure to only engage these skeletons when you have both the hookshot and the double-jump, as otherwise you won’t be able to successfully jump over its charge move without taking damage from the fire trail it leaves. A close-range weapon like a sword is best when counterattacking.

Protoceratops andrewsi: These are low to the ground, but they’ll jump over burst effects like the Freeze Wave. Instead, use homing missiles or the Pain Sphere to hit them. Most of them won’t take many hits, but they tend to swam.

Spinosaurus aegyptiacus: Use cluster bombs to discourage it from its lunging bite attack, the claw swipes can safely be ducked. If you’ve got the opportunity, triangle jump onto its back, as the thunder effects can’t hurt you up there. You can also try to rapid-fire these things down if you’ve got the laser upgrade.

Europasaurus holgeri: Offer these beasts a chestnut to pass without combat.

Liopleurodon ferox: This is not a dinosaur. If you are fighting one of these, let us know what you’re up to in the comments of this week’s What Are You Playing and include a note about fighting skeletal marine reptiles. Try to dodge its attacks or something, I guess.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 117: Starfall no more

Kind of a weird and fascinating week for MMOs, as an expansion has a legal showdown with a charity, a western MMO is announced, and Vvardenfell decided to come to us two weeks early. Is the industry shaping up for the most explosive June on record? It might just be!

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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