humor

WRUP: Say it once edition

Most of the time, if you have something to say, you should say it once. That's enough. Just once, then move on. Make your point, make your argument, then move on with your life. If you think that a television show is really bad, say it once. Then don't watch it. Stop talking about it. Move on with your life.

You convince few people by saying the same thing over and over. In fact, you're more likely to sound petulant than sounding convincing. If new evidence arises, that's a different story, but if you're talking about something that hasn't changed since you initially said it, you're not adding anything new to the discussion. You're just repeating yourself, and you're sounding as if that's all you have to say.

So just say it once. For example, this week, just tell us what you're doing in the What Are You Playing comments one time. Don't post three comments telling us what you're doing over the weekend. Just once.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 109: We are all Dragonborn

Roll for initiative! Bree and Justin are getting all kinds of nerdy with this week's show, in which they talk about Dragon-people, the return of a long-abandoned sci-fi game, a momentous anniversary, and the viability of sandbox MMOs.

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: Better living through obsolete technology edition

Are you the sort of insufferable dillweed who wastes everyone's time during a social gathering talking about how humanity should never have moved on from vinyl records or failure-prone game cartridges or whatever else makes you just insufferable instead of Amish? Then you should order our new series, Better Living Through Obsolete Technology! It's perfect for the change-averse weirdo who doesn't understand why no one has not programmed a decent MMO for the Commodore 64.

This comprehensive 18-tape VHS set with an additional audio reading 8-track recording and laserdisc companion series will guide you in the delicate art of yelling at computer salesmen, why scanlines are the best thing ever, and how to scold people for ruining your playback because they turned on a vacuum cleaner within the same time zone. To order, send a personal check (no money orders or PayPal) to the bottom of the trash can and leave your weekend plans in the comments for What Are You Playing this week.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 108: PAX East power-up

As Massively OP is on the scene at PAX East this year, we've got plenty of juicy news and interviews to discuss on the show! What game is coming to console this year? What secret is Eliot hiding? Which MMO just got a name change? Find out in today's episode!

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: I am not hiding illegal weapons in a lizard edition

Good morning! How are you? I'm good. I'm very good. I am not hiding illegal weapons in a lizard. Can I get you something? Tea, laxatives, snake venom antidotes? There is no snake venom in the tea, nor are there snakes hiding in the bathroom sink. Nothing for you? All right, then. Please, make yourself at home, this house is not infested by silverfish the size of VW minibuses. No one is watching you through a sniper rifle scope that I am aware of.

Are you all right? You seem tense. You are not being set up by the CIA due to being in this house. Perhaps you'd like to watch a movie without any subliminal messages inserted by Fidel Castro? What do you mean I keep saying disturbing things? Every reassurance I give you is factually true, you're really jumpy. Just leave your What Are You Playing entry down in the comments, it won't cause your computer to catch fire specifically.

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Conan Exiles will have no boners on Xbone

As it stands right now, players in Conan Exiles may stride across the land with mighty swords or short stabbing implements held high in the breeze, and also you can pick up a sword if you want to. But it appears that players on Xbox One (commonly shortened to "Xbone" because sometimes life loves irony) will be unable to thrust forward into the unknown. According to creative director Joel Bylos, the team was told outright that there were to be no rods dirtying up this game of filthy, scrabbling violence.

Bylos is unsure whether the ladies will still be able to go tits out for being exiled in a wasteland and trying to kill other people, but he knows that the dongs will be gone as surely as they are omitted from LEGO games. There's also no word about whether or not PlayStation 4 players will be able to enjoy the simple joys of having their digital bits flapping in the breeze. Of course, you can enjoy that in the PC verson, so if that's a selling point, you needn't feel limp and weak.

Source: Glixel via Kotaku

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 107: Dark Knight rises

This week on the show, Justin and Bree celebrate a couple of hearty MMO updates, argue about mandatory mount viewing, celebrate the soft launch of Revelation Online, and extol the virtues of the PC Master Race.

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: Introducing the Sega Box edition

Did you really think that Sega was getting out of the console business just because of the Dreamcast's enormous failure? That's just what they wanted everyone to think, releasing a series of terrible Sonic games to lull their rivals into a false sense of security. Now, with Nintendo having just released its own new console, Sega is proud to reveal the Sega Box, on this website for some reason!

The Sega Box features a fully immersive gaming experience with its launch title, Sonic Aquatic, when you fill the box with water and stick your head in. But quickly. It features seven USB ports, four of which randomly work when you boot up the system, and can run off of electricity, kerosene, or ennui. It also features 300 gigabytes of onboard storage which cannot be accessed, a dance pad, an undisclosed number of spiders, and free wi-fi if you're already paying for it in your home. Also, it always answers What Are You Playing down in the comments. You should do that, too.

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Hearthstone dev performs an epic Un'Goro rap

Consider this your weekly public service announcement to remind you that game developers are people too -- weird, strange, and totally geeky people. As living proof, here's Hearthstone Game Director Ben Brode delivering a quirky and goofy rap about April's Journey to Un'Goro expansion.

The rap came about as the result of a fan petition for Blizzard to make some sort of official musical trailer for the expansion, which has become something of a tradition for the Hearthstone team. Brode was game, and wrote his own dorky three-minute rap, which you can watch below. Enjoy!

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See all of the 'extreme polite socializing' that Ever, Jane has to offer

Admit it: You have been weirdly fascinated and curious ever since hearing of the existence of Ever, Jane. This period MMORPG is definitely taking a different path than most games in our genre, drawing from the works of Jane Austen to make an online roleplaying experience that's more about dinner parties and gossip than it is about slaying dark gods and looting their decorative armor sets.

YouTuber The Hive Leader took some time to explore the interesting (and confusing) open beta and returned with a hilarious report. He notes that the world is largely silent and devoid of people while the game is not very clear on what players need to do and can do.

Satisfy your curiosity by watching all of the "extreme polite socializing" that Ever, Jane has to offer after the break!

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Perfect Ten: Every MMORPG bestiary ever

I have played a lot of MMOs. It's inevitable, given enough years in this job and hobby. And the sad thing is that I wind up seeing the same things over and over again. There's always a class called the Warrior, for example, and if your game doesn't have classes, you still have a "recommended path" that makes you a dude with a big two-handed weapon that smacks things. There's always an opening questgiver. You always need to collect animal parts.

Yes, even in games where there's no wildlife. Don't ask me what street thugs in Champions Online are doing with bear hearts; I just need the experience.

Of course, there are always bears. In fact, there are always pretty predictable enemies roaming around. Every MMO has at least some of the same things from the same bestiary, so it'd be nice if we could just accept these features of the omnipresent lineup and term them as such.

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Massively OP Podcast Episode 106: Ready to relaunch

Call this episode "tangent city," because it doesn't take much to send Bree and Justin down conversational rabbit holes! From discussing why Champions Online failed to pick up City of Heroes' refugees to going on epic rants against gankboxes, you'll need a flow chart and a five-dimensional mind to follow all of the topics of today's show. Good luck!

It’s the Massively OP Podcast, an action-packed hour of news, tales, opinions, and gamer emails! And remember, if you’d like to send in your own letter to the show, use the “Tips” button in the top-right corner of the site to do so.

Listen to the show right now:

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WRUP: Parts may fall off edition

Congratulations on your new vehicle! You've made an excellent choice, because now we can feed our families. This money will be a blessing to us. Just to let you know, though, this is a minor thing, but parts may fall off of your vehicle. This is perfectly normal, and it's generally nothing to worry about. Some of the molding might fall off the first time you pass 10 MPH, totally all right, nothing to be concerned about. A mirror or two might fall, but that's normal.

Other parts that can fall off, which are completely expected and should prove no hazard, are the front cowling, exhaust pipes, wheel covers, passenger shielding, and the entire engine. Also, some of these parts may either catch fire or cause other things to catch fire. Last but not least, the soulstone sealing in the caged demon within the vehicle may fall off. That... is actually bad. You should worry about that a lot. Just sign here in What Are You Playing and you're all set, but you also have to tell us if you're a cop.

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