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One Shots: Sea horsing around

When it comes to unusual ways for Massively OP readers to get around in MMORPGs, there seems to be no shortage of bizarre methods for getting from Point A to Point B. So why not an ocean creature that is known more for hanging about than keeping a dedicated commuter schedule?

“I really loved the free seahorse mount World of Warcraft gave my character when I started adventuring through the Vashj’ir undersea zone,” Mysecretid said. “You can’t use the seahorse mount anywhere but Vashj’ir, but it sure looks nice. Even the ornate bit and bridle design impressed me.”

I have to wonder if, when mounted, your character is thinking, “You know, this is just too ridiculous, even for this game. I really should say something to management.”

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One Shots: Counting sheep

I might not pick one of Final Fantasy XIV’s Lalafell as an ideal combat companion, but when it comes to staging adorable photogenic moments? I would say that they are ideal.

Reader Vexia nodded off to a bunch of fluffy sheep in today’s headlining pic: “It’s totally worth it ’cause then you can count them all to fall asleep. I guess this qualifies as being ‘in my element’ too: surrounded by fluffy cuteness.”

Ack. We need a palette cleanser! Truck in some gratuitous gore and oversized spiders!

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One Shots: Starlight, starbright

As someone very much on the outside of this whole Guild Wars 2: Path of Fire thing, my observations is that this is some sort of night sky simulator coupled with a public transportation PSA. It does look very pretty, though.

“I’ve been having an absolute blast with Path of Fire so far,” writes Xephyr. “The maps are HUGE and insanely detailed, there’s stuff to do everywhere! And mounts, omg, THE MOUNTS! Joy of movement indeed. Anyways, here’s me and my griffin bro doing some exploring.”

In Mother Russia, mount rides you to work!

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One Shots: Drop. Your. Sword.

“It’s possible, pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP… YOUR… SWORD!”

Can’t imagine why this screenshot of Secret World Legends from Winterskorn has me thinking of The Princess Bride. It’s inconceivable. Also, that sword doesn’t look like it can cut very well, just saying!

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One Shots: A bridge too far

One more bridge. That’s what she kept telling me, even though I cautioned her that sooner or later our luck would run out. She would pause, then shake her head and urge us on. One more bridge.

That day, when we crossed a seemingly innocuous wooden bridge over RIFT’s gorgeous Scatherron Forest, our luck broke — as did six boards, sending us plummeting down into a gorge. As I fell, I wondered why I was taking orders from my talking mount anyway. Perhaps she knew that fall damage was a thing of the past and I could be pressured into recklessness.

After I pick myself back up and find another route onward, we’ll look at the rest of this week’s player-submitted screenshots and stories!

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One Shots: I think I’m turning Japanese

I’ve got your picture of me and you
You wrote “I love you,” I love you too
I sit there staring and there’s nothing else to do

We’ve all been there when a “good” Japanese demon of legend has a legit crush on one of the leaders of the Illuminati. How else to express that unrequited love than with a commissioned painting and some headless mannequins?

“In honor of Secret World Legends’ Kristen Geary,” posted reader Koshelkin. This is exactly how court restraining orders get started.

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One Shots: In the altogether

Warning: After the break is a shocking depiction of human nudity and the bravado of a squirrel that seeks to save you from nightmares for the next two weeks. It is all thanks to that online weirdness generator called Final Fantasy XIV and beloved reader Skoryy, who is incredibly quick with that screenshot key.

This is from Skoryy’s private photography gallery entitled, “Random MMO Funny Faces.” Gaze in awe and dumbstruck horror after the break, then read on because we’ve got a whole bunch of interesting player shots for you to admire when you tire of trying to peek around that bushy tail.

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One Shots: Alien sunset

I will admit that I’ve been craving a good space exploration sim lately — the burn to “explore strange new worlds” is rising inside of me. Should Elite Dangerous be my course? Reader Andrew makes a compelling case with this week’s headliner.

“I recently took an exploration adventure in Elite Dangerous to the ghost ship Zurara on the edge of the galaxy in the Formadine Rift and put together an album of screenshots that I took along the way,” he sent in. “Here I am enjoying the sunset before I leave the Bubble Nebula and head out to the next and final stop on my journey.”

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One Shots: Hugs not drugs

This week’s edition of One Shots is brought to you by the National Hugs and Fistbumps Council, which recommends that everyone enjoy at least five full embraces every day, preferably without something creepy whispered in the ear. “I can feel your tummy gurgling against my tummy.” That sort of thing.

It’s also brought to you by Kawaii Five-O, who’s having some fun in Final Fantasy XIV. “I’m enjoying the Moonfire Faire festivities with a special someone,” she said. “While not an unplayable race, I do wish the Au Ra (females in particular) more closely resembled their early concept art that depicted them as being much more demonic and imposing looking and less of a cutesy human with horns and a spattering of scales.”

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One Shots: Out for a monster stroll

He just wanted to go out for a casual stroll. He picked the worst possible day to do it.

Todd the Troll lumbered out of Mordor, looking for a breath of fresh air and possibly some daisies to pick for his deformed girlfriend back home. What he found was a pitched battle between his comrades and some inexplicably agitated humans yelling about rings and frodos.

Finyar captured Todd’s bewildering dilemma in Lord of the Rings Online at the Battle of the Black Gate. I, for one, hope he made it home and will look back on this day and laugh.

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One Shots: Sacred space

Anyone a little excited about Guild Wars 2 these days? Probably not, but on the off-chance that there’s a glimmer of hype and hope alive, here’s a reminder that there’s some stuff that was put out for the game and other stuff that’s coming for the game. Deserty-stuff.

“I don’t want to spoil much about the latest Guild Wars 2 episode, so here is just a shot from inside of Divinity’s Reach palace temple, where it begins!” Miol submitted.

I wish I could un-spoil myself from that screenshot, because now I know the game’s design plans for the next seven years, all from the subtle clues that are contained in those stained glass windows. How I wish I could erase that knowledge and experience it as a wide-eyed child would!

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One Shots: The one where we mention Michael Bay

Warning: This column will contain GRAPHIC and EXPLICIT references to film auteur Michael Bay. You may find yourself cutting away in excitement every two seconds and subject to unnecessary explosions and pixelated cleavage. Try to remain calm.

Siphaed had “super fun” in Citadel: Forged With Fire lately and wanted to share a vista from his new house. But what’s the best part? “Explosions!” he wrote. “Michael Bay would be jealous of the graphical fidelity of Citadel. And yet still aesthetically pleasing to the eye.”

Now that we’ve gotten our gratuitous Michael Bay reference out of the way, let us push forward and try to forget the man who single-handedly ruined two 1980s franchises. We are not bitter.

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One Shots: Hail to the victor!

Have you ever been able to capture a truly victorious moment in your MMORPG journeys? Rees Racer did, and he is not above showing off (fortunately for us!).

“No spoilers, so I’ll just pass along a TERA cutscene shot from a meeting with Priestess Ciebel after the defeat of a traitorous threat to the Alliance,” Rees writes. “Of course, my Gunner is issued new orders almost immediately as there are seemingly always other harbingers of doom to confront…”

You save the world once, everyone wants you to keep on doing it, over and over again. My advice? Start charging per apocalypse and put aside a portion for retirement in another dimension.

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