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One Shots: Boy band cover art

It’s one thing to strike a pose and get a good-looking selfie in there, it’s another to coordinate a whole group of twitchy gamers and get them to take a group photo without someone jumping or facing the wrong way or forgetting to emote.

Vincent Clark has mastered this group pose in the formation of his new Final Fantasy XIV boy band album called “Ears over Eorzea.” We anticipate great things from this mostly shirtless crew of well-manicured rebels, as long as they don’t fall into that hot tub and drown.

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One Shots: Elves have a weeding problem

You may hold Elves in high esteem, but the truth is that they are bonafide slackers. They live forever and can’t even be bothered to keep up with the weeding, so Elves make up some nonsense about communing with nature to cover for it while they binge on Netflix.

BalsBigBrother brings us our first pic of the day, this one from Lord of the Rings Online: “The one is from the High Elf starting instance, with this particular area the last part just before you are thrown out into the ‘real world’ of Middle Earth. Still amazed with how well the SSG folks do with their world building using such an old engine and saddened at times how divorced they often seem to be when it comes to actual player mechanics/fun.”

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One Shots: The rat race

At times, I feel like I must be the responsible adult in the MMORPG genre and sit down some of these artists and tell them that while I appreciate their ambition and imagination, not everything can be turned into a mount. Not everything should be turned into a mount. We need to have some sort of standard, some line that must not be crossed.

I feel like RIFT crossed that line with this mouse mount. It’s a little too on the nose with the whole notion of leveling in games being a rat race, eh?

“Here is my new Sinister Cappie mount telling a fishing story (it was this big!),” said Ironweakness. Frankly, I want to hear the story where someone captured a giant mouse and then trained it to provide transportation to battle-happy adventurers.

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One Shots: Gassy and bloated

I do think that we, as a culture, have become disturbingly obsessed with selfies, but I will always make an exception for anyone who finds himself standing in front of an enormous gas giant.

“I wanted to share my screenshot for One Shots for the first time,” sent in Stormheim. “The screenshot is from Destiny 2. I don’t still have cool stuff and gear, but its kinda awesome to take a selfie with Jupiter behind you.”

If nothing else, Jupiter has the effect of making the subject look thin and light in comparison. Kind of like standing next to Jabba the Hutt or a YouTube content creator’s ego.

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One Shots: The party at the end of all things

Do not be alarmed.

Your brain is now under our control, but that is a good thing. You no longer have to worry about the mundane tasks of life; all you need to do now is party. Party hard, party with a purpose, party until you collapse and feed all of your life’s energy to our party vampire!

You know who loves to party? Skoryy loves to party: “Here, have last night’s Extra Life 2017 party in Secret World Legends’ Agartha, complete with dancing CMs and giant Dreaming One mascots!”

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One Shots: The drinks are on us

Last week’s (last) call for tavern and inn images seemed to bring out the nostalgic in all of our readers. It certainly didn’t take much for people to share their favorite hang-out spots and the memories that ran through them.

Let’s start with Camelotcrusade’s seemingly innocuous Star Wars: The Old Republic cantina: “While I know there are better Star Wars cantinas than this one, I chose it because in the early days ‘let’s meet at the cantina’ was our rendezvous point on the fleet. After you’d done your business, we’d meet there to decide what to do, or for RP.

“Since the fleet was a big circle, and both hemispheres had similar decor on the inner rings, it was a lot easier to go the wrong way than you’d think. I wasn’t the only player making a lap while others where already queued up. I could figure out where the center was, though.”

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One Shots: Mummies making tracks

Let me tell you, I’m not playing RIFT right now but still I am so very tempted to log on and purchase that squirrel mummy mount. It may be one of that game’s best mounts yet, and that is saying something.

“One thing I love about RIFT is that the Ascended never take fall damage, no matter how far the fall might be,” reader Jake said. “While exploring the Gedlo Badlands, I needed to return to the kobold base camp and the quickest way to do so was to cliff dive from my current location. My descent was cut short when I unexpectedly landed on a rope strung across their camp. My mummified squirrel mount looked exactly like its real world counterpart would running along electrical wires.”

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One Shots: Street legal

“Looks like it’s that time of year again!” says Ryuen.

And so it is. The Halloween season has come upon us and it is inescapable. You can try to hide in a cave or bury yourself in a mountain of theorycrafting, but before you know it, you’ll be trick or treating in MMORPGs with the rest of us.

And I say, why fight it when you can ride it? Sure, wearing a pumpkin on your head and driving a bike powered by 85% gasoline and 15% souls of the damned might not be street legal, but trust me, no cop is going to stop you. Just ask Ryuen… if you can catch up to him in Secret World Legends.

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One Shots: Sea horsing around

When it comes to unusual ways for Massively OP readers to get around in MMORPGs, there seems to be no shortage of bizarre methods for getting from Point A to Point B. So why not an ocean creature that is known more for hanging about than keeping a dedicated commuter schedule?

“I really loved the free seahorse mount World of Warcraft gave my character when I started adventuring through the Vashj’ir undersea zone,” Mysecretid said. “You can’t use the seahorse mount anywhere but Vashj’ir, but it sure looks nice. Even the ornate bit and bridle design impressed me.”

I have to wonder if, when mounted, your character is thinking, “You know, this is just too ridiculous, even for this game. I really should say something to management.”

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One Shots: Counting sheep

I might not pick one of Final Fantasy XIV’s Lalafell as an ideal combat companion, but when it comes to staging adorable photogenic moments? I would say that they are ideal.

Reader Vexia nodded off to a bunch of fluffy sheep in today’s headlining pic: “It’s totally worth it ’cause then you can count them all to fall asleep. I guess this qualifies as being ‘in my element’ too: surrounded by fluffy cuteness.”

Ack. We need a palette cleanser! Truck in some gratuitous gore and oversized spiders!

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One Shots: Starlight, starbright

As someone very much on the outside of this whole Guild Wars 2: Path of Fire thing, my observations is that this is some sort of night sky simulator coupled with a public transportation PSA. It does look very pretty, though.

“I’ve been having an absolute blast with Path of Fire so far,” writes Xephyr. “The maps are HUGE and insanely detailed, there’s stuff to do everywhere! And mounts, omg, THE MOUNTS! Joy of movement indeed. Anyways, here’s me and my griffin bro doing some exploring.”

In Mother Russia, mount rides you to work!

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One Shots: Drop. Your. Sword.

“It’s possible, pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP… YOUR… SWORD!”

Can’t imagine why this screenshot of Secret World Legends from Winterskorn has me thinking of The Princess Bride. It’s inconceivable. Also, that sword doesn’t look like it can cut very well, just saying!

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One Shots: A bridge too far

One more bridge. That’s what she kept telling me, even though I cautioned her that sooner or later our luck would run out. She would pause, then shake her head and urge us on. One more bridge.

That day, when we crossed a seemingly innocuous wooden bridge over RIFT’s gorgeous Scatherron Forest, our luck broke — as did six boards, sending us plummeting down into a gorge. As I fell, I wondered why I was taking orders from my talking mount anyway. Perhaps she knew that fall damage was a thing of the past and I could be pressured into recklessness.

After I pick myself back up and find another route onward, we’ll look at the rest of this week’s player-submitted screenshots and stories!

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