Some phrases absolutely never sound ominous. You can have a black cloak billowing behind you, your face cloaked in nothing but shadow except for your glowing red eyes, but I’m still not going to find the phrase “I couldn’t find the nice blue plates in the washer” particularly ominous.
Not even if you say it with a growly voice.
Other phrases that are not even remotely ominous: “Owl enclosure,” “I dropped my phone in the toilet,” “Internet Warlord,” “The LeBaron needs an oil change,” and “What Are You Playing.” That one’s pretty familiar, actually. Even comforting! You just click on down below and see what we’re up to over the weekend, then you let us know what you’re doing in the comments. Not ominous in the least.