Hello, reader. Hello, and good morning. Or should I say… good ham? That sounded clever before I typed it out. Look, the point is that I have your ham. This ham right here is yours, and if you ever want to see it again, you… well, you’ll look at the header, but if you ever want to have your ham back, you’re going to do exactly what I say.
First, go to the nearest Cumberland Farms. Assuming it’s near you, anyway, I don’t want you to be driving like fifteen miles out of your way. I guess you could just go to a regular grocery store, but… wait, they probably have ham. Depending on where you live. If you live in Israel, there’s probably no ham in the grocery stores, right? That would be weird. Or is it weird for thinking that? If you live in Israel, let me know about the ham situation.
You know what, forget it. Just go get another ham and leave your comments on this week’s What Are You Playing. I’ll give your ham a viking funeral. It’s what you would have wanted if you didn’t mind me stealing your ham.