Perfect Ten: Proof that the RuneScape Twitter account is stark raving mad

    
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Perfect Ten: Proof that the RuneScape Twitter account is stark raving mad

For a writer on a multi-MMORPG news site, following pretty much every online game’s Twitter feed comes with the territory. It’s always interesting to me to see what “personalities” each feed develops over time, from the shy guy who posts only once a month to the toddler-esque accounts that repeat the same information every hour on the hour so that you can’t ignore it.

Most Twitter accounts are informative, but there is one that keeps catching my eye with — how do I put this nicely — how absolutely crazy-awesome it is. And that account is RuneScape.

Any time the official RuneScape Twitter account sends out a notice, there’s a 50% chance that it will be some nutty non-sequitur or appropriated meme that has only the vaguest connection to the game. Lots of the posts make game references that pass me by (which is to be expected), but the tone and weirdness of it all arrests my attention frequently. That’s why I need to share it with you today so that I’m not alone in bathing in the bizarre.

1. Male pelvic lines (above left)

Seeing this recent tweet is the straw that broke my back and prompted me to write this. I mean, I can understand (sort of) appropriating this wacky “things boys do we love” teen trend going around, but out of all of the many, many saccharine images, they had to use one of a guy pulling down his undies to show “The V” line? What is this I don’t even. I don’t get the in-game reference at all, which is expected, but I can’t see any situation where staring at a guy’s package is going to make me think fondly of an MMORPG.

I can tell you what it will do, however. It will make my wife do a double-take when she catches this floating across my Twitter feed and become incredulous as I attempt to explain that this is “for work.”

2. Swollen eyes (above right)

Another weird thing this account does is to take comic strips and then insert random RuneScape references into them. Fine, fine, but man, take some pride in your work! Don’t white-out over the speech bubble lines! This joke isn’t so important that it can’t wait for the extra 10 seconds that it would otherwise take to prep correctly.

3. Cabbages vs. giant spider (above left)

“Hm, I really need to justify pulling a salary here. Gotta get something out today so that the boss will notice. What to do… what to do… I know! I’ll settle once and for all the great cabbage vs. giant spider debate using one of those Twitter/Facebook polls that is beyond pointless. There. Now to get a good five-hour nap in before clocking out!”

4. Dad troll (above right)

Apparently a father trolling his son by taunting him that he (the dad) was getting to play RuneScape while he (the son) had to study for a test is the high water mark of hilarity for RuneScapers. I’m not sure what kind of message sending this out to your entire playerbase is supposed to be. “Get hooked on RuneScape and you’ll be a snarky jerk to your family?”

5. Anchovies on Mufasa’s corpse (above left)

Remember that poignant scene from The Lion King where Mufasa is killed and Simba is heartbroken at his father’s death? You know what that scene needed? Some crudely photoshopped a video game anchovy pizza on Mufasa’s head. Why? I DO NOT KNOW.

I just want to remind everyone that this is from an official studio account.

6. Jesus Christ, dungeoneer (above right)

One thing that you see on most MMO Twitter feeds is the occasional retweet of something creative or funny that a player posted. Generally, it’s a great thing to do as long as it’s used sparingly and in good taste. But retweeting a picture of Jesus as a RuneScape character who has leveled up in dungeoneering (for some reason)? I can’t imagine any other studio CM appropriating a religious figure for a game reference (other than perhaps SMITE, which has made a whole career out of it), but then again, I’m not a game that wants to become an actual religion either, so what do I know?

7. RuneScape loves crystal meth (above left)

While I’m sure that adults play and enjoy RuneScape, from my observation there seems to be a larger youth population, which perhaps explains why the Twitter feed gets downright juvenile at times. With this target audience in mind, is putting in a screenshot from Breaking Bad in which the characters are making crystal meth maybe a smidge irresponsible? Plus, it doesn’t exactly fit with the game reference anyway!

That’s not the funny bit, though; this is: Someone responded to this tweet by linking a picture of RuneScape’s own rules, in which the game forbids players from talking about recreational drugs. Oh, burn!

8. The Fresh Prince of Gielinor (above right)

Credit where credit is due: This is actually funny and obviously took some time to write, even if it doesn’t always make sense (“shooting some seagulls — that’s why I rule”?). But then you come to the realization that an employee sat down to write this for a one-shot tweet, and it makes you question what that person is doing with his or her life. You could have been so much more! You could have been… a contender!

Then again, I am also being paid to write funny things about video games on the internet. Let’s just blame the whole internet for this obvious oversight.

9. Cosplayer Kanye (above left)

First of all, I have to think that perpetual grumpypants Kanye West would not be delighted to see his outfit compared to a loosely similar one in a video game. But what is really weird is how the RuneScape Twitter feed has a penchant for reusing the same images and jokes days and weeks later, sometimes with new text. Cosplay Kanye was also used for a “What would his wife think?” tweet a week or so earlier. I think she’d wonder what the heck RuneScape is.

10. Drunk baby (above right)

I think… uhm. Hm. Drunk baby. No way to go wrong with that. It’s protected by the power of meme!

Everyone likes a good list, and we are no different! Perfect Ten takes an MMO topic and divvies it up into 10 delicious, entertaining, and often informative segments for your snacking pleasure. Got a good idea for a list? Email us at justin@massivelyop.com or eliot@massivelyop.com with the subject line “Perfect Ten.”

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Veldan
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Veldan

After seeing this and point 6, I decided never to play RuneScape again. I am not even religious myself, but mocking other people’s religion is not something I will ever support. It shows a substantial lack of respect and empathy for those with different beliefs.

FVerret
Guest
FVerret

BigAngryPlays luxundae That line kills me.

breetoplay
Guest
breetoplay

jhuynh405 Sixcess It’s Alamo. He definitely meant durids. :D

jhuynh405
Guest
jhuynh405

Sixcess If you mean druids, then yes.

Eliandal
Guest
Eliandal

melissamcdon McGuffn   As obne who spent a LOT of time…checking out…V’s…Melissa is right :D  Although the V is there, there’s no abdominal definition to go with it.  Not sure how he could possibly have a chest, a nice V and a 0-pack!!

EBreezy
Guest
EBreezy

I actually though the Breaking Bad one was funny.

Damonvile
Guest
Damonvile

I’m actually happy to see the objectification of men in ads. I’ve enjoyed the female version my whole life and this is a better equality than none of us getting any! :)

melissamcdon
Guest
melissamcdon

McGuffn ah no this is definitely hip V

McGuffn
Guest
McGuffn

So wait, the shirtless guy with the v and the double xp aren’t one post? They kind of rhyme. I think you’re probably looking at the wrong V by the way. (Maybe your wife is right!) Typically the V line refers to the shape of the chest from the shoulders to the waist. In these standards of beauty men have a V shape, women have the hourglass.

BryanCo
Guest
BryanCo

“Kanye West would not be delighted to see his outfit compared to a loosely similar one in a video game”

Loosely similar?  Only in the sense that a tuxedo is loosely similar to a Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt.