Frank was born in the middle of April at 5:27 p.m., widely agreed by experts to be the stupidest part of the year. Despite this fact, Frank was coddled by his parents, and grew to be an absolute moron who couldn’t find his own rear end with both hands and a detailed map, and yet somehow he still managed to wind up dating Deborah despite the fact that she was an absolute genius and gorgeous and could do so much better than Frank, who was the human equivalent of a landfill for dumping duck carcasses.
Frank, because he is so stupid that he could drown in a half-inch puddle of water while wearing a scuba mask, decided to then grow a beard. His beard could best be described as what it would look like if Albert Einstein’s hair was a beard and also attached to a horrible stupid man with the mental activity of cow manure, and Deborah left him. Hope your stupid beard keeps you warm through the winter, Frank!
We hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s narrative preamble before What Are You Playing. Check out what we’re doing down below, and let us know what you’re up to in the comments. Also feel free to talk about how Frank is stupid.
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): It’s cherry blossom time in Japan, which means it’s also the season for many, many parties (sadly in real life, not in any games I’m currently playing). I’m actually still recovering from several late notess, mostly with Hearthstone. Will also pop into Hyrule Warrior Legends if I can’t sleep on the trains.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I had assumed it would be Black Desert, but let’s be honest – it’s Guild Wars 2 SAB. SAB SAB SAB. My husband also got me back into Marvel Heroes, so we’ll probably be doing that too.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Got stuff to do, mostly project-related, but I sure will still wind up playing some Final Fantasy XIV because that’s a thing I do. I also might splurge a bit and start up something new.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): There’s a new issue of The Secret World to be explored and plundered, so dare I embark on anything else? I might just, as I picked up Warlords of Draenor because I’m always so with the times.
MJ Guthrie (@MJ_Guthrie, blog): I am playing 18 hours of surprise driving! So neat. Not. I can’t even speed around like in Grand Theft Auto Online. If I can manage decent wifi at my hotel, I will be checking in on ARK: Survival Evolved to feed my dinos and maybe decorating a bit in EverQuest II. My laptop doesn’t have Black Desert, so that is out of the question. Then I will be driving more. Yay.
Patron Pierre: No MMO this week-end, even if the stories about the huge war rising in EVE made me think a lot about going back to blowing up starships… but I’m not ready yet. My game for the WE will surprise many, as it’s an old JRPG I decided to give a second chance lately: Final Fantasy XII. My first impressions on this FF: I didn’t enjoy it and stopped playing quite fast for a FF game. But I saw someone streaming it recently and it seemed interesting again. May be I wasn’t ready for it when it launched. I’m playing it on PCSX2, an emulator on PC. With upscaled textures, the game is gorgeous. No more of this ugly aliasing the PS2 was specialized in (even if FFXII was probably the graphical gem of this console as it was perfectly optimized, being among the last games before the switch to the PS3 generation). Enjoy your week-end MOP readers. Cheers.