The Daily Grind: Who are your favorite MMO NPCs to hate?

    
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But not of-the-year material.

The first really story-heavy MMO I played was arguably Guild Wars, and while it’s been many years I still remember talking with other people about how Prince Rurik was a toolbox and deserved to die. Rurik was dumb, that’s the point. But he was hardly the last NPC I hated in an MMO; Thancred in Final Fantasy XIV and Corso Riggs in Star Wars: The Old Republic immediately spring to mind as characters I would love to shove down a well.

But these are characters whom I don’t just dislike, but ones who I enjoy disliking. I don’t like, say, Kan-E-Senna in FFXIV, but I don’t actively cheer when bad things happen to her. Corso, by contrast, gave me great joy every time he disapproved of my actions. So what about you, readers? Who are your favorite MMO NPCs to hate? And as an added benefit, did you feel that they got their just desserts? (I was one of the ones cheering when Statesman bit it in City of Heroes, for the record.)

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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Yuri Geinish

Ah almost forgot, Braham Eirsson in Guild Wars 2 is quite annoying. He’s a stupid moody kid who needs some hard spanking. Hope something terrible happens to him in Path of Fire, he well deserves it.

Mr. E.™
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Mr. E.™

Mako in “Star Wars: The Old Republic”. I don’t actively hate her, but she annoys the ever-loving poop out of me. She’s the bounty hunter companion who gets upset with you when you do bounty hunter stuff.

I have a real-life wife to shower me in disapproval; I don’t need that from my video game companions, thank you very much.

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Tiresias

I know they have been said already, but one more time for good measure:

1. Illidan. Ugh. Don’t even get me started. I’ve basically hated him since Warcraft 3. His return is almost entirely the reason I was able to quit WoW for good.

2. Kormir. She’s THE WORST. Literally, THE WORST. Everything about her is terrible, and in the end she STEALS my rightful reward of ascending to godhood. I really, truly hope we get to kill her in an upcoming expansion.

Veldan
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Veldan

Kormir didn’t steal it. She, specifically, was given the ability to “make use” of Abaddon’s destruction by an avatar of the gods, somewhere in a Gate of Madness cutscene. So, at best, you could say the gods denied the player avatar its godhood.

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Stropp

Any NPC that wants me to escort him/her somewhere and then runs straight towards danger.

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Daniel Reasor

Star Trek Online’s Kobali are filth. Stormwaltz covers the details pretty thoroughly elsewhere in this comments page, but let me just add what it’s like to meet these bastards as a KDF player. One of the first missions a KDF player receives is the sacred honor of observing an ancient Klingon funeral tradition – standing watch over the body of the deceased and guarding the body against animals. A few dozen levels later, the Kobali are those animals, picking the bones of the dead instead of just genetically reengineering themselves to reproduce sexually. And yes, Klingons are forced to either assist them or skip the mission if they want to proceed further into the game’s story.

Grinding my gears on a smaller scale, we have Star Wars: The Old Republic’s Bounty Hunter companion, Mako. Billed as the biggest fan of bounty hunter lore in the galaxy, Mako has no stomach for the actual work of bounty hunting and actively and vocally disapproves if you ever complete a contract faithfully instead of screwing your employer over. And she’s the only romance option for male Bounty Hunters.

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Yuri Geinish

Quaggan in Guild Wars 2.

Like I suggested on the GW2 forums, there should be a minigame where you turn into a dragon and assault Quaggan settlements and slaughter them in thousands while they run around screaming “OOooOOoooooooOOo weeEEeeee aAAarrEEee screEEeeeeeEEwed”.

That would be just so [beep]ing cool.

I don’t know if the dev’s idea was to create something cute but there’s cute and then there’s drooling idiots.

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Ursula Wolf

Gods, yes, I hate those little balls of uselessness. Ugh. Skritt though? Cute!

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Matthew DesOrmeaux

Sara Oakheart in LotRO.

She pops up in random encounters throughout the first 50 levels, always in the middle of an enemy camp thanking you for releasing or rescueing her. Then in Book 9 you finally find out what she was doing and who she was, and you realize just how much of an accomplice you’ve been to evil all along. Very, very slow-walking evil.

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kidwithknife

I don’t know the context of that since I never really played LOtRO, but that sounds like a really cool story twist.

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Stormwaltz

I’ve said this spiel before, but…

The Kobali in Star Trek Online, who you’re story-forced to assist, are a bunch of assholes who should be left to die. I begrudge any help I’m forced to give them in order to unlock more story missions. I’ve put off doing Kobali missions for months at a time, I dislike them so much.

The Kobali can only reproduce by genetically rebuilding the corpses of other races into more of their own. It’s one of the many silly pseudo-scientific concepts to come out of Voyager, but it does have a certain beauty. If I were to die, hell yeah I’d let one of them recycle my corpse into an entirely new person. What a gift to be able to leave.

Here’s the problem:

The Kobali settled on a planet that was once colonized by the Vaadwaur, a race of imperialists who got knocked off their pedestal by an alliance of races they’d conquered.

In Voyager, a group of Vaadwaur were released from a stasis bomb shelter. In STO, they’ve continued to rescue more of their own in stasis facilities across the Delta Quadrant.

The Vaadwaur invaded the Kobali world. The Kobali came crying to the Federation, “The Vaadwaur are trying to commit genocide on us!” What the Kobali conveniently “forgot” to mention is that they’re sitting on a massive stasis facility full of sleeping Vaadwaur that they’re slowly converting to Kobali.

But the Kobali aren’t killing the stasis Vaadwaur – oh my, no! They’re not murderers! They’re just guarding the faacility, and hiding it, and making no effort to wake the occupants, and waiting for their stasis pods to fail, one by one, so they can say, “Gosh, here’s a new corpse that no one’s here to claim! I guess we can turn it into another Kobali.”

The Vaadwaur “invasion” is actually a rescue mission, trying to recover their own people before their stasis pods fail.

Whenever you call the Kobali on their mealy-mouthed hypocrisy, they loudly point and yell “You’re a racist, judging our method of reproduction! Shut up, obey the Prime Directive and sell us more guns. Also kill these Vaadwaur for us.”

It has nothing to do with your means of reproduction, assholes. It’s about you holding thousands of Vaadwaur hostage, preventing their kin from rescuing them, letting them die, and lying to us about it because you know full well how reprehensible your acts are. Truly following the Prime Directive would mean leaving you to lie in the bed you made.

That is a lot of words. Probably tells you how infuriating I find that particular stretch of Delta Rising content.

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Rolan Storm

Never knew about all this, but with you. Despicable.

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Bannex

Illidan. King of the Edgelords. One of the dipshittiest characters ever created and singlehandedly inspired the worst class ever seen in a video game.

The whole Illidan character design reeks of a circle jerk of anime fans trying as hard as they can to make an amalgamation of badassery and it completely fails all the way to duel wielding unusable weapons and giving him an immeasurable amount of power.

His voice over is so grim it makes geralt roll his eyes. His story is complete nonsense that is punctuated by his interaction with the na’aru.

Illidan sucks.

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kidwithknife

Y’know, after reading this post I had to google Illidan and see what his story is.

Fuck you for making me read that. Fuck you, sir! :P

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Bannex

I’m glad I could change one person’s life for the better this day! :)

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Peregrine Falcon

I honestly don’t understand the hate for Corso Riggs. He’s a redneck war vet and he acts like it.

Quinn on the other hand… I’m still angry that I wasn’t allowed to kill him.

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Rolan Storm

Killing? You are way too soft on him. He’d live long, long life if it was up to me…