I’m totally playing a naked gerbil pistoleer when Crowfall launches

    
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The latest entry in Crowfall’s ongoing Monster Month is also the best, full-stop, for it features the adorable and spunky Guineceans. Usually with more clothes, though. But, you know, they’re kinda just sentient gerbils, so are clothes really necessary?

“In ancient times, it is said, the Guineceans were simple forest animals. At the moment of Gaea’s death, she bestowed on them intelligence, sentience, and emotion. They call this blessing The Gift and it informs much of their lifestyle. Guineceans tend to be good-natured and welcoming. Their lives are highly social, and they work together to excel in science, engineering, and exploration. They are so advanced that they have been the only Race to master the alchemical compound for gunpowder and, in turn, the use of pistols. They delight in meeting other cultures and are acknowledged throughout the known worlds to be as powerful as they are diplomatic.”

Hello, gerbils with bombs and pistols and a big ol’ grin? Of course I am playing one of these. Note, they also get an awesome skill called Guinecean Burrow, which lets them literally burrow underground and go invisible.

There are two other races with the misfortune of being featured today (and outshined by gerbils): the Minotaur and the Stoneborn. Minotaurs are portrayed as being a ferocious ex-slave race that boast stun immunities, plenty o’ dodge, and a frenzy type skill. The Stoneborn, on the other hand, are basically Dwarves, “crafted to tend the fires at the heart of every world, to carve channels through which magma, the blood of Gaea, might flow and warm the earth.”

I’ll be disappointed if at least one person doesn’t comment that they’re obviously hamsters, not gerbils, and that the proper class name is Duelist.

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Bryan Correll

I’ll be disappointed if at least one person doesn’t comment that they’re obviously hamsters, not gerbils, and that the proper class name is Duelist.

/em prepares a long lecture about the fact that they are clearly Guinea Pigs.

Dang it Bree, they're Guinea Pigs.jpg
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Utakata

Back in WildStar we called ’em Chua’s… o.O

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Bruno Brito

Science!

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socontrariwise

They are guinea pigs (gerbils have long tails). That is why they are called GUINEceans.
They have fur. No nakedness involved.
/smartass pants off

Celestia
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Celestia

An Elken, a Centaur, and a Guinecean walk into a bar…

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J

Always gotta have one class clown species/race it seems. Thankfully, they also tend to be the minority.

Kickball anyone?

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Bruno Brito

Dibs.

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Maggie May

I would play a Chipmunk …. for obvious reasons (extra bag space?)

Justin Olivetti
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Justin Olivetti

THIS MORAL FILTH MUST NOT PREVAIL

rodent.jpg
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McGuffn

If a rat crawls on your face make sure it is fully clothed. Words to live by.

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Teh Beardling

I love that these little balls of fluff exist in this games dark ass world. (Don’t get me wrong though, I love the dark tone of the lore too) They just seem so bright and cheerful in their lore. Especially when compared to the Fae who, you know, kill their sons at birth. :O

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Ironwu

Crowfall seems to be heading for the silly section now. Perhaps they don’t think they can really compete with Camelot Unchained for the serious fantasy PvP world position. Now, it looks like they are going to go the Wildstar route.

Will see how it goes, but between the two offerings, I think CU will be the one to succeed.

And, I still have grave concerns regarding the ability of Crowfall’s engine to actually handle it all.

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McGuffn

But we’ve known about the gerbil people for years.

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Crowe

If this wasn’t a PvP focused game, this would have gotten me interested. In my mind, I can already hear the trailer voiceover…

“In a world where Richard Gere’s worst fear comes to life… naked gerbil pistoleers abound!”
Armageddon!

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Darthbawl

Welp, there goes the cosplay universe! ROFL :P