I’m totally playing a naked gerbil pistoleer when Crowfall launches

    
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The latest entry in Crowfall’s ongoing Monster Month is also the best, full-stop, for it features the adorable and spunky Guineceans. Usually with more clothes, though. But, you know, they’re kinda just sentient gerbils, so are clothes really necessary?

“In ancient times, it is said, the Guineceans were simple forest animals. At the moment of Gaea’s death, she bestowed on them intelligence, sentience, and emotion. They call this blessing The Gift and it informs much of their lifestyle. Guineceans tend to be good-natured and welcoming. Their lives are highly social, and they work together to excel in science, engineering, and exploration. They are so advanced that they have been the only Race to master the alchemical compound for gunpowder and, in turn, the use of pistols. They delight in meeting other cultures and are acknowledged throughout the known worlds to be as powerful as they are diplomatic.”

Hello, gerbils with bombs and pistols and a big ol’ grin? Of course I am playing one of these. Note, they also get an awesome skill called Guinecean Burrow, which lets them literally burrow underground and go invisible.

There are two other races with the misfortune of being featured today (and outshined by gerbils): the Minotaur and the Stoneborn. Minotaurs are portrayed as being a ferocious ex-slave race that boast stun immunities, plenty o’ dodge, and a frenzy type skill. The Stoneborn, on the other hand, are basically Dwarves, “crafted to tend the fires at the heart of every world, to carve channels through which magma, the blood of Gaea, might flow and warm the earth.”

I’ll be disappointed if at least one person doesn’t comment that they’re obviously hamsters, not gerbils, and that the proper class name is Duelist.

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