WRUP: Optimal speedrunning notes for every game edition

Hunt that moon, you crazy weirdos.

Create your character with the “Passionate Hatred of Euclidean Geometry” disadvantage; this will prevent you from walking in straight lines, but since you will be side-strafing while jumping the whole time, it won’t matter. Use the extra generation points to pump up your mass, then when the tutorial starts up, kill your father with a spoon and run into the corner of the room to glitch position detection and become a supermassive singularity.

From here, your goal is to speed-strafe across broken map segments and throw two brooms at the fifth boss so that the game will think you’re a goat, thus allowing you to rise through the floor into the floating city and kill the final boss using Goat Magic. Research is still needed to know if the black fire bombs can be used to successfully hack out of the tumbling sequence. If you wish to do a no-glitch speedrun, do the same thing and say it was an accident. Post your best times in What Are You Playing.

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’d say I’m in a rut, but I’m having actual fun in Star Wars Galaxies Legends, so I’ll definitely be in there this weekend. Harvesters and the like, but I’m also trying to flesh out my vendor stock a bit because, well, the hotcakes are selling like hotcakes. Need to make more hotcakes. Meanwhile, I’ve backburnered Trove until Gamigo figures out what the heck it’s doing. I get that they took over in a hurry and have a lot of catch-up work to do, but it feels like the game is bleeding players in the meantime, and I’m just gonna take a step back until it’s sorted.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): This weekend is looking pretty much all over the map for me, honestly. I jumped on ARK: Survival Evolved’s recent sale so I might prepare myself a bit with that game before I join in with MJ on my personal quest to pet all the dinos. There’s still some levels to earn and gear to gather in MapleStory 2. There’s also leveling and MSQ to be done on my healer character in Final Fantasy XIV. Oh, and I also went ahead and got World of Final Fantasy Maxima so I’ll probably be replaying that one with the new stuff. All in all, a pleasantly busy weekend, methinks!

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I’ve got my usual stuff in Final Fantasy XIV and my wife and I are still having fun in Pokemon Go together, but my major focus will probably be getting ahead with my NaNoWriMo project. I’ve done this two years running so far; we’re on track for a third year, but my trip next week will make it a bit more complicated.

Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): Gonna be a full weekend of legendary server leveling in Lord of the Rings Online, no doubt about that. I also joined a pretty cool guild in Star Wars: The Old Republic that’s given me even more incentive to play there.

Your turn!

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Late to the party, but more Red Dead Redemption 2. Having stopped down story progression to collect all the pelts I needed for the ultimate satchel, I’m stopping down the story again to hunt legendary animals and also collect pelts for the aesthetic camp upgrades.

I also decided to finish up getting Platinum on Spider-Man. Not much to say there.

I was really tempted to get World of Final Fantasy Maxima, but hearing Nightmare mode is locked behind NG+ has dampened my enthusiasm. I know Nightmare is made for high-level parties, but I wish a harder difficulty was available from the start.

FFXIV is also tugging at me again. But this is a bad week for me to return. Maybe next week.

Kickstarter Donor

I finished The Last Of Us Remastered this week. Brilliant game. Great story, great writing, and very evocative voice acting.

The game can be “tough” in terms of its unflinching look at a post-disaster society, and the damage the setting wreaks upon its people (even those who consider themselves “survivors”), but if’s definitely a thought-provoking game, and worth a look if you’re at all interested.

I understand that they’re currently making a Last Of Us, Part II, which picks up the story of certain characters after the events of the first game.

Part of me is excited for more high-quality game storytelling, but another part of me remembers that sequels rarely live up to the stature of the original. How often can you catch lightning in a bottle twice?

All the sturm und drang over the mobile Diablo fiasco actually go me curious enough to start up my long-neglected copy of Diablo III and give it another try.

See, I was a pretty big fan of the original Diablo game; I played a lot of it — but if you read my posts at all, you probably know I’m a “story guy” when it comes to games — give me characters; give me a plot; give me a reason to be doing whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing. Doesn’t have to be an awesome, or even original, story but there had better be something holding the game together, or I’ll go play something else.

And Diablo II made the story fan in me crazy. Here’s why.

Diablo Franchise Plot Summary:

Diablo I

– Devils! Evil! We must risk everything or existence is dooooomed!!!

– Don’t worry, we won. All good. Safe now.

Diablo II

– They got loose again. Aieeee! Help! Help!

– Sigh. Again? Okay. I’ll take care of it.

– Okay. All good. Safe now.

Diablo III (so far)

– Oh noooooooeessss! Devis! Evil! Loose again! Help! Help!

– Sigh …

Look, I get it. Player versus Brimstone Evil IS the franchise, but y’know, they could try something beyond “Oh nooooooes! They’re loose again!” as a plot set-up every. single. frickin’. time. :-)

So, I’m dinking around with D3 some, but I doubt I’ll ever take the game as seriously as it wants me to take it.

Beyond all this, I haven’t seen any new games of late which inspire me to part with my money.

It’s not that they’re bad at all, it’s just that they’re not the flavor of game I like, so I doubt I’d get enough playtime from them to justify their full-price cost.

Ah well, my brother is visiting this weekend, which is a very good thing (he’s quite busy, so I don’t see him nearly enough) so gaming can take a step back for a while.

Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

Be well,


I’d with you on the “Oh no, they’re loose again!”-type plotlines. If I sort out evil, I expect it to stay sorted out, dammit.

I find Diablo 2 to be the odd entry in the series. It seems to me like the internet rated it, but I found it the weakest of the three. Diablo 1 had oodles of atmosphere, Diablo 3 had the slick, satisfying combat. Diablo 2 had… my character from 1 turned into a bad guy and a lot of muttering about ‘always to the east…’ every cutscene. The best bit I liked about 2 was how badass Tyrael was – no harp and halo for that angel.

My favourite Tyrael moment from 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXkrdtL4RV4

Enjoy your weekend with your bro :)


Now that Starcraft and Warcraft III are getting the remaster treatments, I’m crossing my fingers that the original Diablo gets the same treatment. Though, if any Diablo game gets remastered, I’m sure it will be Diablo II since it was more popular. But I was always more a fan of the original.

I’m super excited for Last of Us Part II. I don’t think the original needed a sequel, but I think Naughty Dog can pull it off.


This week: Feeling low in energy where my games are concerned.

1) Still poking at TERA for some reason. And trying to figure out where all my original characters went off the rails with this game. The game has a very tight window where one’s toon can sign up for dungeons and/or collect mat drops for the uber weapon upgrades. If you go over those levels, then you’re playing catch 22 with the story and a gimped weapon. Forcing you to skip a lot of content just to stay on top of that./le sigh

2) Still very annoyed at Blade & Soul for removing all those side quests. I have no real incentive now to log back in there because of that. Thanks NC. I hope your mobiles work out for you. /sarcasm off

3) Still playing WoW. But the mind numbing grinding for those Allied races spots is making the only real highlight of this expansion dull and tedious. Where did Blizz go off the rails with this? /bleh

(And yeah, I complain too much! Grumpy pigtails! :( )

…other than that, have a great week and weekend folks! <3

Kickstarter Donor

Complaining is allowed. I think the internet was built fo run on complaints, yes? :-)

That said, maybe you need to try a different game or two, for a bit, just to get a change of pace.

TERA, Blade & Soul, and World of Warcraft will all be there waiting when you get back, I’m sure.

Best to you and the tails!


Point #1 is why I stopped playing the Neverwinter MMO. I was having a great time and then, oops, I was punished for gaining levels and now I don’t even have the option of soloing this or that skirmish for the story/achievements.

Points 2 and 3 also don’t sound good. I was heartbroken to learn Aion was recently butchered in a similar way to BnS.

Here’s to hoping your gaming next week makes your pigtails less grumpy.


This week, a couple of hours of Elite: Dangerous until I got my promotion to Post Commander. Still waiting for the post. Ba-dumsh.

I took an alt into BfA in Warcraft to give it a second chance, but ground to a halt at level 115. I just don’t seem to be able to grind levels on alts like I used to, and I don’t even know what my incentive to do so is at this stage.

Did the next teeny tiny minscule step in the Destiny 2 Thunderlord quest line, which involves three Lost Sectors right next to each other in the EDZ, followed by a week-long wait for the next bit. This is the very definition of player-hating time gating (a phenomena I will now call time hating, aha). “Please come back next week for another twenty minutes of content.” It makes me miss offline, single-player, all-your-content-whenever-you-want-it gaming soooo much.

So now I’m wishing I could find a sandbox MMO that isn’t centred around crafting as I really just want an immersive world to roam around with an avatar I like the look of, without all the design baggage that comes with modern WoW xpacs.


I played a bit of Rime.
It’s a bit Zelda like… in theory, quite pretty, and sounds great. But runs like absolute dogshit, even on top of the line hardware (without even talking about the Switch version which is plain appalling).

Buuut… it’s boring as shit, so I dropped it. You have ledges painted in white like in the new Tomb Raider for platforming, Peppa Pig-like “puzzles”, you move as fast a dead snail, and there’s just… almost no gameplay going on. Plenty of shitty collectibles to find when you “explore” though.

I would call it the modern equivalent of the “Ubisoft” game theory applied to puzzle platformers, not giving a shit about gameplay and sacrificing everything for the sake of cinematic moments. With a bunch of useless crap to extend the very short length of the game.
It’s just a complete bore to play, and to follow since the story doesn’t even exist.

Another one on the pile of stupid metaphorical games trying to elicit some feelings.
Boring, overdone, as flat as it could be.

Danny Smith

Dead by Daylight remains my go to none mmo online game, DQXI is great but by the sounds of it sold like shit so will be the last western release in the series for a while, tried installing overwatch for the first time in a year, was shocked how little it changed/added and its still more of the same and i lasted about 20 minutes so im getting my alt jobs in FFXIV up while revving up the excitement for fan fest.

-Also i replayed through WC3, still amazing, but boy looking back that ending feels like they didnt expect it to sell and could wrap it up. It looks like all the scourge followed the humans to hyjal under archimondes control and medivh ends it talking about the races putting their wars aside for a time of peace and ‘a world where they dont need a guardian’. But i guess then it made bank so we got what we got but it really feels like that could have been the end of the franchise.

Meanwhile pretty much done with WoW till new content, the azurite system sucks and after the story wraps up the world is boring. Glad i have more XIV content to do and i hope fanfest is a better show than blizzcon. Especially since after a 33 million loss square usually puts a bit more support behind ongoing moneymakers to shore themselves up in bad periods.


Dead By Daylight, FFXIV, and Kingdom Hearts Final Mix will probably be the three main games I play over my weekend/”weekend” unless Fallout 76 releases early (I wish).


I stopped playing AC: Odyssey at around 80% main quest progression, last week end. I enjoyed the game and story quite a bit and would like to complete the main quest but together with all the side missions, which are mandatory if you don’t buy the XP boost in the MTX shop, it drags on just too much.

Yesterday I got One Hour One Life and failed miserably in the tutorial (wtf). Will give it another go later tonight.

Today I did some reading and some first baby steps in quantum computing. There are several companies offering to run your experimental programs on real quantum computers as a cloud service for free. Pretty cool.


Quantum computing? Hmm. I’ll have to give it a Google.

AC:O, oh yes, I’m going to start that this week. I forgot that was on my agenda.

And yeah, I don’t mind side quests when they are truly side-quest. They shouldn’t be mandatory.

Kickstarter Donor
Rees Racer

I know we’ve discussed this AC: Odyssey bit the last week or so. There seem to be very distinct views on whether these XB boosts are necessary. I’ve never even been tempted.

As I mentioned last weekend, I’ve not purposely sought out ANY of the side quests, but might pick one up on the way about an island, or otherwise exploring. I realise my gameplay habits are significantly more deliberate than others, so it’s much more about the journey (*cough* “odyssey”) itself for me, rather than about the main storyline etc. I actually find myself outleveling areas more often than not.

There have been quite a few surprises and “holy shit, that just happened!” moments whilst just going about my business. It’s just all so beautiful and glorious to run around (I don’t even use my horse much).


I don’t want to criticise the XP boost too much. On the one hand I dislike it as a business practice (also because I think it harms a game’s balancing, overall). OTOH it has to be said in Ubi’s defense that the side quest are enough to gain sufficient XP without the boost, as far as I can tell, and those side quests are pretty good and varied, so I wouldn’t call it grind or anything.

But when talking about the game’s length and something like this XP boost exists, I have to say whether my statement refers to the game’s length with or without the boost.

Regarding your play style:

1. I whole-heartedly agree that taking your time and not rushing through is the best way to play such a game. But after a certain time spent with a single-player game (>70h in this case) I usually like to switch into a mode where I just concentrate on the main quest and complete that, maybe doing side activities later on. I think the reason is that I am not good at playing several games in parallel nor at coming back to a game after a few weeks of not playing it, and therefore, if I want to complete a game, it can sometimes feel like being trapped in it because I need to finish it before being able to move on to something else.

2. I’m surprised that you have enough XP to continue the main story while doing only very few side quests, because from my experience the other side activities seem to grant comparatively little XP. But maybe I did something wrong or were overlooking something.

Anyways, thanks for the reply and I agree that Odyssey is a nice game overall and definitely worth playing.


Common theory says Fear of Euclidean Geometry and the Spoon-Eye queue glitch… But personally I prefer the Sanity-Meter glitch in the closet. Sure you won’t have the mass for the singularity jump-skip, but if you put all the points into Glass-Frog Appreciation you actually can take the preserved Glass Frog from the study, use it instead of the spoon on the Father, then with the resulting hit to your sanity when its already glitched force-spawns

Formless Sleeper, Shadowy form of Sycamore Slumbering in the depths, F’thaghan Slender C’thun Rylegh Es Moirtous Klaatu Barada Nikto Petscop Hugged me I’m Scared…

… Um… Then… uh… my nose is bleeding, that’s fine. IT worked. It… That… Yeah… Nosebleeds in the real world means the glitch worked, and completing the ritual is just like completing the game… Then… Just… find the lamb of man and…

I’m not feeling too good. While I’m waiting for my humours to balance themselves out, I’ll be banging my head on the PS4 edition of Hollow Knight as I try to complete it, dabbling in some Soul Calibur 6 as well as the Resonance of Fate HD release… And… uh… staring at the shadowy mass existing in the corner of my vision…

I feel cold…


So last night I upgraded from my four year old laptop and its increasing wi-fi issues to a nearly brand new Micro Center built desktop. It wasn’t that huge of a jump but holy smokers is the new system nice. Not only is Kourna no longer a sub 20 fps slideshow, but all the animations elsewhere are just so much smoother. Now to keep the nice system clean and hair free. Sadly, the cats have not received the ‘stay away from the tower’ memo.

On a related note, my WoW guildie’s adoration of my GW2 mesmer has brought me back to Tyria. Well, she is cute, and the game is still fun even if I’m still bleah on the story.