Accidents. Incontinence. Turbulence. Maintenance. Irrelevance. Flatulence. Tumescence. Interpretive dance. GTA Online’s latest update is out next week, and it promises all this and more, literally. The update launches The Diamond – a “luxury casino and resort in the heart of Vinewood” in the crime-ridden Los Santos gameworld.
“You’ve heard the rumors. You want to believe them, and there’s only one way to find out. Abandon your preconceptions. Let go of your inhibitions, your doubts, your sense of proportion, your credit rating. The rumors didn’t begin to do it justice. Welcome to The Diamond. Grand Opening July 23.”
Based on the amusing vignettes, you’re in for a swell time.
“We recruit our housekeepers from the most respected crime scene cleanup teams in the state. There is no bodily fluid or potentially infectious material they can’t remove in the time it takes you to find an alibi.”
But beware: As Kotaku points out, the update has been a bit of a catalyst for scammers to prey on easy marks. Apparently, the scammers wait for these pre-patch environments where people are scared they won’t have enough cash to play, and then they promise viewers in-game money drops in exchange for following them on social media and so forth. Of course, the drops never happen.
The Diamond Casino & Resort
Grand Opening next week July 23 in the heart of Los Santos
— Rockstar Games (@RockstarGames) July 18, 2019