By now, you’re probably aware that Torchlight III’s early access was a smidge of a disaster. If it was a rocket launch, it would have exploded sideways into the control tower and dumped toxic fuel all over the environment. But what, exactly, went wrong? Well, there’s a short answer to that… and there’s a long, rambling, and somewhat insane answer.
In this week’s state of the game post, Echtra goes into an obscenely long-winded explanation of why the release went belly-up. It uses a lot of technical jargon and engineering metaphors you’ve probably never heard before, so it’s kind of a descent into a new type of madness.
Also, there are zombies.
It’s worth a read, but for the sake of posterity, we’ll highlight some out-of-context quotes that tickled us:
- “At this point, we had to do two things: We had to kill all of the zombies, and we had to figure out why the zombies were appearing in the first place.”
- “It was like playing Whack-a-Mole — as soon as we had cleaned up one set of servers, another one would get infested with zombies again.”
- “We knew generally where the problem had to lie, but did not have a specific root cause. So, we busted out our rubber ducks.”