The Daily Grind: What’s the worst mount in all of MMO land?

    
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During the MOP Podcast at the top of September, Justin and I answered a fun question from Aldristravan about terrible MMO mounts. It turned out to be a hard one – do you pick based on functionality? Or based on aesthetics? Or what about absurdly priced mounts? Or impossible drop rates or mounts locked behind gambleboxes? We both went for functionality; he lamented the slow pace of World of Warcraft’s old turtle mount, while I groused over Guild Wars 2’s fussy portal-hopping jackal.

However, as soon as the podcast ended, I realized I probably should’ve poked fun at Guild Wars 2’s pegacorn – really just a skin for the griffon. I don’t own this thing, and it’s really not that bad, but back when it came out, it was resoundingly ridiculed for not fitting into the game.

I could also have dinged some of the mounts in Ultima Online. There’s one that’s just a giant roachy beetle, and it’s straight up ick. And yet it’s got storage, and one version even operates as a portable ore smelter, so you kinda have to use one sometimes. I could do without it.

What would you say is the worst mount in all of MMO land?

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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Hikari Kenzaki

Any giant mount that can prevent you from accessing an NPC because some idiot/troll is parked on top of it.

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Obsiddia

The Gas Spore mount in Neverwinter. Besides looking gross and shooting gas as it goes, it rather looks like ummm zombie balls. You’d have to see it in action. Or not. Maybe best not.

EmberStar
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EmberStar

In Ark: Survival Evolved – spiders. There’s a fair number of creatures that don’t really have a purpose, but spiders stand out as the most useless of useless things. They have no health, no weight capacity, and their special power is “puke goo on things to make them walk slightly slower.” They can’t walk on walls (but at least three other creatures can, all more powerful than spiders to boot.) They can’t even be bred, so there’s not even a chance to improve their pathetic stats by hatching a bunch and hoping for mutations.

Oh, and also they’re ugly rubber monster *spiders,* and for a lot of people that would end the discussion regardless of stats. Even if someone *likes* spiders, the ones in Ark are especially derpy looking.

Ernost
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Ernost

The mounts in SWL, that vanish as soon as you drive over a puddle.

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Rhime

Any car in ArcheAge…wtf?

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Rndomuser

I do not have a single mount example, but every mount in ESO is awful. First, for the objective reason: ESO’s mount speed is a separate skill which you either slowly grind through a “daily” upgrade (because Bethesda made this game to heavily encourage everyone to pay for everything) or by spending Crowns to instantly upgrade the speed, and to encourage people to spend money Bethesda made the default mount speed or mount speed with only few upgrade points very slow – some characters with some speed traits/upgrades can outrun it on foot so I have seen plenty of instances of some people not using their mounts but just running and sprinting everywhere, often faster than my not fully upgraded mount.

Second, from purely subjective point of view, they all look visually unappealing, like cheap plastic toys, due to poor animations and to heavily desaturated colors, doesn’t matter if they have glowing parts or not. For this reason I never bothered to spend any Crowns on any mounts.

I don’t play those games anymore but just about every mount in games like WoW, LOTRO and FFXIV looked more aesthetically pleasing and was useful at stock mount speed, and I actually purchased mounts in those games using real life currency because I liked their aesthetics and animations.

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flying_dutchman

Actually I agree with this. .. I think ESO is a solid game overall, but the horses do seem oddly plastic. Which is odd, because of how decent everything else looks most of the time.

MilitiaMasterV
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MilitiaMasterV

On the load screen, the horses are doing a weird open mouth teethy grin which was cringe inducing to me personally…

MilitiaMasterV
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MilitiaMasterV

I don’t know. Depends on what we’re judging.

The glow in the dark sperm from FFXIV ranked pretty high up there. It was some crossover event do hundreds of FATES bonus. Had a spinning tail, and was supposed to kind of look like one of those toys kids rock back and forth on at public parks. But the animation/image was quite obviously intended to make you think it was a sperm as it zipped around…

I snagged someone else’s photo to show you it.

Wtf36.jpeg
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Utakata

I *vote anything around the size of a school bus (flying) and an elephant (land) or bigger as the worst mounts going. That is, big, stupid and lumbering. And couldn’t turn on a dime and a pigtail to save it’s life…among a number of other issues. >.<

*Note: Least you don't have to wait for two days to get my answer! o.O

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Bryan Correll

The Pontiac Aztek.

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Ironwu

The WoW ‘Sparkle Pony’.

I would rather walk/run than be seen riding that thing.

Not to mention it cost $25.

And, it opened the floodgates to goofy mounts in WoW.

Really did not like that thing.