WRUP: Excerpt from my autobiography, ‘The Sushi Bar Will Never Open,’ available everywhere books aren’t sold on February 30 edition

    
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Trashy.

Chapter 3: “But I Never Asked About The Walrus”

At this point, my options were basically limited to either buying my way into college, buying my way into the military, or covering myself in mayonnaise and establishing a kingdom within my kitchen in which I would be hailed as Lord Imperator by my cats. Naturally, I chose to sell the mayonnaise to pay for college.

Chapter 6: “Please Help Me, I’m Trapped In A Book Binding Factory”

So I told the Queen that she could get the hell out if she didn’t like my flatulence.

Chapter 11: “Bankrupt Creatively And Also Other Ways”

Apparently very few lawyers will take on your case based on an obscure New Mexico law regarding nasal hot peppers, especially if your actual defense would put you on the wrong side of that law and you’re not even in New Mexico in the first place.

Chapter 14.5: “An Aside: Why Hot Peppers Are In My Nose”

What are you, my lawyer?

Chapter 18: “Helping With Charity So This Story Has A Feel-Good Ending”

A bird? A bird. A bird. A bird. A bird. A bird. A bird. A bird! A bird! A bird? A bird.

Chapter 28: “And Now You Know The Rest Of The Story In A Way That Is Legally Distinct From Any Radio Programs”

In conclusion, it was the worst What Are You Playing I ever wrote. And believe me, kiddo, that’s saying something given my track record.

Bonus question: What’s the earliest video game you remember beating? Not necessarily the first game you beat, but the first one you remember?

Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Pokemon Go is happening, especially on Sunday. I already got my wings for the big game, so I’ll reheat those while catching rose pokemon and maybe vaguely watching the game between walking outings. I didn’t decorate my Animal Crossing island for any of the recent holidays/events, but I do feel like I should really change up my house, so that may happen Saturday.

Bonus question: The first game I actually remember beating was Mega Man 7. The problem was that I was racing to the end because we had to return the game to Wherehouse video rental. And I won… except our TV was old and the image would often scramble, which it did, for the entire end sequence. I was mad the whole drive over to return it. I didn’t get to actually see that ending until I saw it online in my 20s. The first game-ending I remember is The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (partially because after the MM7 situation, I’d dusted off my Game Boy so I could finish a game I felt I was finally old enough to handle and wouldn’t worry about the screen failing me).

Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): I’m in the home stretch of the Hizen dockyard event in World of Warships. Only two build stages left! Besides that, I’ll either run some Elite: Dangerous missions or tempt nature in Jurassic World: Evolution.

The first game I ever beat was the Atari version of Star Wars: The Arcade Game by playing so long that I flipped the score back to all zeroes. That’s how you used to beat games.

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): Same as last weekend for me: I’ve got a major painting project on deck, but otherwise I’ll be dipping into Star Wars Galaxies Legends, maybe City of Heroes, maybe The Elder Scrolls Online. And I keep getting urges to play Lord of the Rings Online I’m having to fight off.

I remember my brother and I staying up all night trying to beat Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I’m not entirely sure we did it? So it’d probably be Master of Orion.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): The gaming rig that I got my husband for Christmas finally arrived (thanks, COVID-related parts shipping delays) so there will be even more Elite: Dangerous in my future as my husband, my best friend, and myself begin the shenaniganry of Porg Squadron proper. I also do want to hop into Dauntless’ new Escalation for myself, and will probably tool around in Final Fantasy XIV to get my freshly capped Blue Mage some new spells. Especially since unlocking new content for the Job demands that I beat an encounter in the Masked Carnivale.

The first game I ever beat is an Atari title I cannot remember the name of. It involved you steering a guy on a skateboard through the various levels of an immense house with the objective of turning off all of the electronics and appliances in it. That sounds routine, but it was genuinely labyrinthine, and every time you zipped by an item it would turn off or on so there was a bit of strategy involved. I felt so accomplished when I finally beat it, especially since games of that age rarely had a win condition so much as they ramped up AI difficulty to the point where humans were incapable of success. That game will always stand out for me and I’ll never forget it. Except its name.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I expect to be very hype about FFXIV this weekend, and maybe I’ll fit in some World of Warcraft just to cool the hype train down a bit. It’s running hot, you see.

First game I ever remember beating was definitely Dragon Warrior, because I actually beat it twice the same day. There’s a choice you get right at the end to either team up with the big bad or fight him, and I picked joining him at first, which gives you an obvious bad ending… at which point I was so upset that I was given a chance despite the rules about playing on the Nintendo to go ahead and replay from my last save point and beat him legitimately. I was very proud of myself.

Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): I’ve been having a blast starting anew in The Elder Scrolls Online with a Warden, and I plan to do the main story questline before anything else. I’ve also picked back up my Minstrel on the LOTRO progression server to make some headway through Gondor.

Sam Kash (@thesamkash): Chances are I’ll be playing a bit of Rocket League. I was bored a few days ago and logged back in and immediately remembered how much fun it is to play. I’ve also been knocking out my Lunar New Year dailies in Guild Wars 2. I just can’t help but play through those.

First game I have vague memories of beating was the original Final Fantasy on NES. I think my mom played through most of it with me too!

Pierre, patron: I’m still playing Persona 5 and loving it. I’m thinking about playing a MMO again, but which one? TESO? Final Fantasy XI? FFXIV? Black Desert? So many games, so little time; story of my life.

Bonus question: First game I beat is The Longest Journey, a fabulous adventure game from Funcom’s period of Ragnar Tornquist. And I didn’t use any online help or walkthrough to beat it; I was really proud of myself. And you MOP readers? WRUP this week?

Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
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Malcolm Swoboda

Another late one!

  • Genshin Impact – Reached AR50, which is nice, but I probably won’t try to unlock the next World Level until the next patch. The rewards get diminished, unless you’re min/maxing. Mostly just popping in for some dailies and the Curious Kamera event, where you use a gadget camera function to take daily photography tasks like ‘yellow item’ or ‘blue creature’s around the world. You can also swap ‘photo’ tokens with your friends to fulfill the objectives easier. Once I understood what this event meant, and the zoom function so I wasn’t aggroing slime enemies, it was easy and nice! Maybe my favorite of the filler activity events. Other than that I got to upgrade my Lisa a bit. The big Lantern Festival event is coming next.
  • Last Cloudia – Further engaged in the Devil May Cry event, and now got Nero on top of V (no Dante, and neither of the two arks). I’m doing okay with the grind rewards but not taking it nearly as seriously as I could. Its just nice lucking out on getting collab event characters for the first time in a while.
  • Another Eden – Done Ogre Wars Pt 2 campaign of the main story! With my strongest characters used, it was pretty easy, at least in terms of the story content. However, my gacha this week hasn’t been so lucky, lots of ‘dupes’. That’s okay. But.. there’s the event going on where if you start the next part of the main story, relative to the part you’re at when the event began, you get a free 5star character of a certain selection, of a certain element you choose. Cool, that’s what I’m trying to do, but I forgot there’s another ‘episode’ content between Ogre Wars and the 2.0 version Return of the Goddess of Time Pt 1 main story campaign -_-. So I gotta complete this episode first, ‘The Closed Off Open World and the Azure Rebel’. These names! Gonna hurry through, as best I can while still absorbing the story.
  • Cookie Run: Kingdom – Good progress? For a F2P mobile progression walling game, at least. I’m nearing the 2nd last story ‘world’, but they’ve revealed the ‘Dark’ aka Hard mode stages so I’m doing that too. My ‘kingdom’ is a mess though, and I’m ignoring aesthetics entirely! Bad, me!
  • Princess Connect Re:Dive – Same here, nearing the end of the story map stages and working on Hard.
  • Dragon Quest Tact – Okay, this is nice enough for me to stick around a bit. It started a DQ1 event – from the monsters’ perspective of course – and its cute enough that is has me messing around in my installed DQ1 again.
  • Distancing Hangouts – Nothing!
  • Logins: Tales of Crestoria (some event stuff)
  • Tryouts: Honkai Impact, still logging in once in a while to do a stage I guess. And DQT had me starting DQ1 again. And I tried out the Ring Fit for the tutorial and first stage, its neat!

I left ‘suspended’ off my list because its been so long, but they are open to return later.

Partner is ..technically.. still on Hades, but pretty sure he’s wrapping it up. And I think he’s doing less yoga in morning, more Ring Fit haha.

Bonus: Can’t tell you really, sorry. My first games I touched was in the early-to-mid 1990s, and I probably didn’t really become a ‘gamer’ until around 2000-to-early-2000s, and the first notable games I finished were PS1/PS2 (or SNES?) JRPGs. FFIX and Chrono Cross were big ones.

Latest boss. He started to get tricky later, as he had a move that would divide your HP of our whole party while healing himself by the total amount, yikes. But it at least wasn’t his full power, which I assume you get if you don’t destroy his elemental orbs on the first phase. He apparently has a superboss version available.:

Current content. Its kind of a mix of main story and an episode. It is required as part of the mainline story requirement order (at least for now; maybe later stuff could add more choice), and its more central plot related, and it has a few bosses, but its still in the episode side content format otherwise (dungeon grind that you exhaust the rewards of):

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Malcolm Swoboda

Also, a cat wedding.

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Schmidt.Capela

What I played this weekend was Saints Row the Third; I love the series, consider the third one the best (and, incidentally, more fun and enjoyable than any GTA, including GTAV and GTAO), and was due for a new playthrough. It would have been the remastered version if it wasn’t exclusive to the Epic store; since I don’t want to give any money to those jerks I settled for the regular version with a bunch of mods instead.

As for the bonus question, back in the Atari days (and earlier) games often didn’t have well defined endings, with many using the “survive as long as possible” formula; this means I don’t have impactful memories of beating most such old games. The first one I have a clear memory of beating was, I believe, Adventure.

Edit: I have much stronger memories of beating the games for later systems, with their much better developed endings; Karateka and Super Mario Bros will be forever etched in my memory because of that.

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Hirku Two

Winning in the Atari era was mailing a Polaroid of your high score to Activision to get your patch.

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Godnaz

Valheim is at the top of the Steam charts for good reason. Eat your heart out ARK/Conan Exiles.
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Sorenthaz

One thing I do hope they add is a climbing system like in Conan Exiles (which took it from Breath of the Wild). There’s some steep hills particularly around the mountain regions that can’t really be gone up without finding a way around. Also some stone towers in the Black Forest are a bit wonky to get up their wooden stairs.

Andrew Ross
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Andrew Ross

I noticed Pierre’s first beaten game was released 1999, so I don’t feel like the baby in this post. Yay!

Also, I misspoke. It wasn’t “Link to the Past,” it was “Link’s Awakening.” Windfish, baby!

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Sylkesh

Was it so long ago? ?? That means I’m quite old :O ;-)
I will add that the first game I played on a PC was Tomb Raider, the original one, in 1996 (you know, when Lara Croft was just a bunch of fused pixels and triangles, as graphics card didn’t even exist yet).
That means I’m probably one of the oldest MOP readers… Show me some respect! xD

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Pandalulz

I think I played an hour or two of FFXIV this week. That’s about it. It was a long week.

Bonus: Either the original Super Mario Brothers, because it was the first game I owned on NES or beating Where in the World is Carmen San Diego on the school computer. I’m just not positive which one happened first. The timeline from 30+ years ago is a little fuzzy.

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Sorenthaz

Got Valheim and have not been disappointed whatsoever with it, so been putting in a lot of time into that so far. There’s so many good things to say about this game, holy cow. It’s an early access survival game that came out of nowhere and it feels so freaking good. It’s a PvE-primary survival game with the ability to host servers for online multiplayer with friends and such. You gather resources, build up a base, and try to venture out into increasingly dangerous biomes to build up your arsenal and summon bosses to kill them off and obtain loot to help start you off in the next biome.

There’s some sort of basic skill system and you level skills by simply doing things from fighting with whatever weapon (or unarmed) to running/jumping/swimming. Character models are blocky and kind of basic but the world design more than makes up for it. The building system is kind of similar to Fallout 76 but not as wonky or limited as 76’s CAMP system – you basically build a workbench and that gives you a circle of influence to build within, but you can create extra workbenches to expand your base’s reach as you build it up further. Walls/etc can snap together or be more freeform, but there are foundation-based physics so you can’t just create floating objects without it falling apart the moment it’s placed. It also has a lite version of base invasions kind of like 7 Days or Conan Exiles but so far it hasn’t been as intense as the blood moon hordes in 7 Days (and I never saw a Purge in Exiles so can’t comment on that). Combat is Dark Souls-y (LMB to attack, RMB to block, Middle MB to use unique attacks, Block + Spacebar to dodge roll), with a good variety of weapons that expands as you get access to better materials.

It already has an Overwhelmingly Positive rating on Steam which should speak volumes. Game has so much stuff to do even with its early access release. Definitely worth the $20 and I’m excited to see where it goes. This really did come out of nowhere as a pleasant surprise for me.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/892970/Valheim/

Also I guess beyond Valheim I might put in some time with FFXIV or Dead By Daylight.

Fisty
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Fisty

Not to mention you can terraform. To me that makes it leaps beyond most other survival games.

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Sorenthaz

Yeah that’s super helpful too. Being able to flatten/raise land is pretty great for making space.

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Bruno Brito

Gaming-wise, i did very little. Boss-bree pointed out that i was jumping too many games, and my reasoning was: “There’s no game that does a good Cleric, or when it does, it’s just not enough for the game to be good or playable”.

What i did, besides jumping between Allods, Aion, Ragnarok, DDO, LoTRO, Rift and considering Archeage, was drawing. I drew a lot. A LOT. A. LOT. My fingers are wounded, but the results were cool.

Practicing digital art. The crusader is the one i like the most. The medic is unfinished yet.

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Loopy

I agree about the Cleric argument. Ever since BG2, i wanted to have that true cleric feeling, but alas i was unable to find a good match. It was either a paladin or a priest, but never something in between.

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Bruno Brito

Neverwinter has a cool one but too priestly feelings and while i love their chain armor, i don’t like how NW locks you into combat styles. DDO’s Cleric is good but forces you to play DDO, and that game is grindy as hell and laggy. I cannot understand for the life of me, why LoTRO doesn’t have a Cleric class. You would think that fighting the forces of darkness would make a great reasoning for being an armored priest. GW2’s Guardian can be adjusted for a more clerical feel, and it looks good too, but i don’t want to go back to that game as long as it lacks housing and more perpetual systems. RO has a Priest with a mace. Aion Cleric is cool, but eh, Aion. Rift’s Cleric is actually really cool, but there’s no ammount of cool systems that makes Rift worthwile to be played in it’s current state.

I thought about Archeage. Then i realized 5s later that i was considering playing Archage and got ashamed of myself.

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Utakata

That’s some of your best. Pigtails off to you! /bows

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Bruno Brito

Thanks Uta <3, holding anxiously for yours <3 <3 <3

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Utakata

I posted one I am working in last week’s WRUP to a tepid response. Perhaps it was a little more minimalist then readers where expecting. :(

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Bruno Brito

I don’t think i’ve even saw it, my apologies. My MOP time is quite inconsistent lol, i’ll take a look

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Utakata

And I see that you did. And I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you! /bows

Damon Anderson
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Damon Anderson

Right now and for the foreseeable future I am playing Monster Hunter World, not online but very fun. I have not finished Dragon Age Inquisition yet, which I did not choose any of the romance dialogue options for my character, except once I accidentally hit on the dwarven lady who sets up the camps, big LOL there, she seemed confused, didn’t do it again. However in Dragon Age I am basically I think at the point of being able to do the final quest I guess it is, but still a few zones to clear and gear to upgrade, but MHW has me hooked right now so playing that all weekend. Getting internet is unfortunately going to have to wait as it’s too costly for me ATM, soon I hope, would really like to play MHW online, as well as get whatever DLC there is.

Bonus question? For the record I would like to state I never consented to give up my right to privacy, nor have I ever signed any contract to be any kind of performer, like reality TV thing for some reason comes to mind, although I did try streaming Albion Online very unsuccessfully (most viewers 3 I think, and I did not talk to anyone who watched, maybe that’s why)…oh you’re simply putting a question out there which I can choose to answer of my own free will and it’s not a violation of my rights, cool. The answer…I honestly don’t remember, maybe Ghouls and Ghosts, definitely not Qbert, almost Tron, I saw a guy beat it once though as I recall it ends with “End of line” might be wrong about that, it was 1982, or 83, pretty sure 82.

PS

I may be a character, but I am not a character.

Also as a non gaming related musical suggestion have you ever heard the song “Apparitions” by Matthew Good Band? Great Canadian song, check it out. Also “Haven’t slept in years” same band, really cool.

Concepts in gaming, fun, that’s what RPG’S are, in reality, I suggest you avoid them, consider your source always.

Have a great weekend!

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Rndomuser

Not playing anything, just enjoying GTA 5 RP streams. There was a recent update for NoPixel RP server which brought major changes so a lot of Twitch streamers are now back playing it. And watching GTA5 RP on Twitch is more entertaining than watching any show on TV, especially since you can watch same scene or area in game from the point of view of different streamers at the same time and many people are roleplaying in unpredictable ways while also reacting to what their viewers say in chat.

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zoward

I’m spending this weekend playing, “source a joycon for my daughter’s Switch”, since the old one has drift problems (like pretty much EVERY FREAKIN’ JOYCON WE’VE GOTTEN SINCE WE GOT THE SWITCH), and won’t hold a charge for more than 30 minutes. *Sigh*. As for me, maybe a little LotRO or Wow Classic. Have a nice weekend folks.

Bonus Question: Sword of Fargoal, for the Commodore 64, circa 1983. I think I may have beaten some earlier ones for the TRS-80 (Flight of the Valkyrie circa 1980/1?).