Once upon a time there was a wombat. This wombat’s name was Simon Birchson. Everyone thought this wombat was very cute and nicely rotund, and they told the wombat this when they observed him. This wombat could understand human speech and it made him a very happy wombat. Despite this, he never became arrogant and all the other wombats thought Simon was a fine fellow. He lived an appropriate amount of time for a wombat eating lots of nice wombat treats from the nice lady down the lane. When he passed away, he went to wombat heaven.
In wombat heaven, Simon discovered that he would now be fighting for the Galactic Queen of Settlron VII as part of the Divine Space-War. The end.
Editor’s note: I have no idea what this was supposed to be in reference to. Eliot has not stopped talking about Simon Birchson all week and insisted that this story would be “the best wombat story ever told” for some reason, and whenever anyone would ask about any part of it he would just start saying “fart crown” over and over until we changed the topic. Just… do whatever you normally do with What Are You Playing. I’m so confused here.
Bonus question: In this era of digital events and promos, what have you found to be the most disappointing digital event to watch or report on?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I’ll be doing the Pokemon Go Kanto Tour event, but my hype’s feeling nearly dead. The last-minute reveals/changes mere hours before the event started in New Zealand is infuriating and feels dishonest, especially for a 12-hour event. I’ll probably end up doing some Animal Crossing and Splatoon 2 as well to cool off.
I feel like most of the digital events have been disappointing to me, outside of GDC to an extent (I’m an info slut). The best part of events for me is being non-digital. I’d learned before the pandemic that I am not a work-from-home person. If I had to single anything out though, it’d probably be the anime/comic events like Anime Expo and Wondercon, simply because cosplay-from-home-for-social-media is boring, and I miss working as a volunteer to bridge content creators to fans. But I also don’t have to hunt down crazy people hiding in bathrooms trying to skip lines for big events, so it’s not all bad I guess.
Andy McAdams: So playing Vikings is really fun. Valheim is way more fun than it has any right to be. But I’ll likely be spending more of my time there with some forays into World of Warcraft for my Mythics group and social time.
Bonus Question: Uhhh, maybe all of the above? They all seem perfectly forgettable.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): So let’s see, I have my Star Wars Galaxies Legends fleet down on some sweet neutronium steel right now, so I know I’ll need to babysit those, and I’ve been dabbling in Farm Together with my kids (seriously), so I’ll for sure be in there – my first house will be built this weekend and I wanna mess with it. I think I’ll do a trip through my City of Heroes toons too.
I’d say the Steam game festivals have been the most disappointing, but there’s not really anything live there to cover, so it’d probably something we just skipped entirely. So many MMORPGs had already switched to digital events to avoid the high costs and low attendance of the big shows well before the pandemic, so it honestly doesn’t seem like a huge change.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I am honestly not sure what I want to do in MMO land, which usually means I’m entering burnout mode, so I’ll likely be doing mostly single-player stuff like Prodeus, Robo Quest, Cyber Warrior or Dirt 5.
Most disappointing digital event? Can I just say “Everything Geoff Keighley”? That Summer Games Fest was just annoyingly spread out and I generally despise the VGAs. Runner-up, though, would be any event Devolver Digital hosts. Those things end up looking like failed Adult Swim programming written and directed by people that seem to despise being in games publishing.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Mostly my usual antics in Final Fantasy XIV, maybe with some single-players stuff mixed in. Actually, that’s a lie; there will almost certainly be some single-player gaming mixed in, I just haven’t determined what just yet.
I’m so glad that my entries get to be the most recent on these columns simply because BlizzConline 2021 is shaping up to have taken what would have already been a kind of bland live event and leech all of the energy and vigor out of it with its presentation. Coupled with the leaks it’s almost a hilarious mismatch.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I don’t think I’ll make any gaming time this weekend, but all the buzz about Valheim (from MOP and other friends) really has me itching to give it a try. Also the Crowfall update has me very interested in checking out how the game is running so that’s on my shortlist too.
Digital events don’t really do it for me. So my answer must be all of them!
Pierre, patron: Good news: I’m back playing a MMO, Final Fantasy XIV. The hype for the upcoming expansion made me want to give it another try. The game is so full of content, I will probably find something to do that suits me. I’m also going through the amazing story of Persona 5; what a game! Every new turn on the road of this RPG story surprises me more with its maturity, and the cast of characters is unique. The voiceover is excellent. I really recommend this RPG if you never played it.
Bonus question: The most disappointing digital event for me is what I refer to now as the “scattered E3.” Instead of a short period of time, a few days, to discover and unite gamers around the new announcements from development studios as usual, E3 last year was replaced by what felt like a never-ending parade of events in dispersed order. I didn’t like it at all. And you MOP readers, I’m curious (as always some may say), what are you playing this weekend?