The ants in the kitchen: This one seemed so easy. I really thought placing some ant traps would do it. Then the ants stole my toothbrush and planted it at a crime scene. These ants fight dirty, man.
The bear in the woods: I used to have two functional legs.
The tow truck: People operate tow trucks alone all the time, right? How do they do that? This did not work for me at all.
The 1998 Chicago Bears: The worst part is that despite attempting to solo them, only some of them actually got involved in the savage and quite frankly unprofessional beating they administered to me. Most of the team was unclear about who I was and why I was in the locker room, much less what my cries of “let me solo you” were about. Ty Hallock was convinced that I was foreign and didn’t understand what I was saying, so during the aforementioned beating he kept asking me “¿Sabes hablar inglés?” This is not even accurate Spanish.
What Are You Playing: Bad plan. Bad joke. Bad everything. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Roxanne: She put on the red light. I moved in with a low sweep combo followed by an uppercut. She advanced her knights and they pinned me.
Bonus question: What’s your favorite sort of cake to have for your birthday?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): It’s Pokemon Go Fest weekend so that’ll take up most of my time, though I may have a little time with the new Mario Strikers: Battle League test. I’ll also try to force myself to do some Ring Fit Adventure just so my legs aren’t the only thing getting a workout.
For the bonus question, assuming I can’t have pie, Cheesecake Factory cakes. They’re basically crustless cheesecakes anyway. Barring that, any cake my mom and I can come up with since if you want a unique cake, the only way to find it is in the cupcake form.
Andy McAdams: I’ll probably keep playing V Rising and seeing anything piques my interest in MMO-land, which at the moment it hasn’t. I burned out a bit on Final Fantasy XIV and no other MMO really looks interesting to me at the moment. Maybe The Sims or something weird like that? Who knows!
Bonus Question: I really like almond white cake with a light but generous layer of chocolate buttercream icing. Vanilla white-cake is also acceptable.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I fell super hard back into Star Wars Galaxies Legends, so I’ll be in there. I’m working on my new farm! Farms are much better than I initially gave them credit for. I’m warming up to them. Also, sparkle lights.
It’d be shorter to make a list of cakes I don’t want, and this is relevant because my birthday is soon and I need to decide what we’re having! Lemon cake, strawberry cake, and cheesecake would top my list. I’m thinking of a chocolate pie this year, though. My wedding cake was lemon, and it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my whole life, even the frozen piece we ate on our first anniversary.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I mostly plan on continuing to slide up the alt class levels in Final Fantasy XIV and I may join my family in some random mission running in Star Trek Online. That’s kind of about all I want to do, honestly.
I’m not a really big fan of cake in general, birthday or otherwise, but if I’m pressed I can always be happy with a good chocolate cake or a carrot cake. Honestly, just gimme a nice fruit pie and I’m good.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Saturday stream is going to be some Divinity: Dragon Commander, and other than that I plan to do some console gaming, some FFXIV, and some playing with my cats. That sounds relaxing to me.
Cheesecake is my favorite, but I also really enjoy lemon cake or the delicious pies my wife makes. As much as I love it, I have a mixed relationship with carrot cake; an ex used to make it for me every year on my birthday, so when that relationship curdled my taste for carrot cake sort of did too. (It’s not an option now anyway, as it contains walnuts and my wife despises walnuts.)