The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the identities of the participants. Also, the ages of the participants, those have been changed. The clothing preference has not been assiduously tested. Some of the events are slightly out of sequence from the actual chronological order, and the details of some events have been altered to avoid sensitive topics or irrelevant topics or just to give the whole thing a little more zip. Despite what you may hear in the story, none of the participants were actually arrested in 1998 for toilet-related crimes, but two of them were arrested for crimes related to toilet paper and an airline. Try to guess which ones.
Similarly, the original sequence of events did not include Sir Patrick Stewart in a walk-on cameo role, a breakdancing robot who raps named McReazy, fifteen rats under a trenchcoat who insist in broken French that their collective name is “Les Mecs Incroyable,” or a digitally rendered haunting ghoul with the face of Abraham Lincoln and the body of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson with seven skeleton arms coming out of his chest. All subjects of What Are You Playing are innocent until proven more innocent.
(p.s. bring back lizzie mcguire)
Bonus question: If you could eliminate one (generally accepted) sport from the world consciousness, what would you pick?
I’m split between american football and golf to delete. Golf that’s not mini always seemed like a huge waste of space. I applaud all animals who dig up the fields and poop on them. Same for football, but also because it’s always seemed like team wrestling disguised as a ball sport.
Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): I’ll probably hit some World of Warships, progress a little through The Elder Scrolls Online’s High Isle chapter and if I’m in the single-player mood, do a few missions in Cyberpunk 2077.
I can’t think of a sport I actively dislike. If we were to pick one that I would flip past while channel surfing, I guess synchronized swimming would be pretty high on that list.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ve got some Star Wars Galaxies Legends to do, although less than last week. I’m finally caught up on my big re-bake of all my food after the patch, and now I’m digging deeper into fine-tuning my farm – a process that’s going to take months. That’s SWG for ya. I’ve also got to get into Lord of the Rings Online this weekend. Got some cosmetics to farm from the Wedding of the Age!
My gut instinct is to just say football, and I hate to do so since I’m a die-hard marching band geek, and without football, band would never get funded. But even I have to admit there are safer and more engaging/exciting/accessible field team sports that deserve the attention more. Don’t come for me.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): It will be continued crafter leveling on Final Fantasy XIV, primarily. I got my Botanist gatherer to 90 and now it’s time for that final push. I also am going to beg for friend help to clear through the main story quest in Monster Hunter Rise so I can be ready for Sunbreak, and I kind of want to play the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge side-scroller with my family.
Oh man, I can only pick one? Well I’m going to be a rebel and choose two – golf and poker – for the exact same reason: because they draw in self-important, arrogant, insufferable jerkwads.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Some stuff in Final Fantasy XIV, whatever I wind up streaming on Saturday (I haven’t decided as of this writing, I’ve been bad about planning ahead this week), and probably getting some single-player projects finished ahead of another game review I already have on the docket. Planning ahead, you know how it goes.
There are a lot of sports I dislike – more than I like, quite frankly – but if I have to pick just one, any form of animal racing gets the axe first because at least humans who decide to engage in boxing or football or chess boxing or golf UFC or whatever are making an informed choice. Second pick is golf, third is football.
Mia DeSanzo (@neschria): I have finally completely recovered from both oral surgery and a mystery illness, so I am hoping to get back to gaming this weekend. I want to go back to some older games and see what’s up. I have had EverQuest II on the brain lately. Time to go be a Sarnak.