- Same internet speeds you currently get, but your computer won’t let you load anything until you listen to dial-up modem sounds.
- Using “Tubthumping” for literally any and all trailers that feature a character reacting to physical impact or falling over. Or both. It is not featured in the soundtrack.
- Safety pins in your hair.
- Drinking a whiskey drink, then a vodka drink, then a lager drink, and then a cider drink. Over and over. Until you’re told you can stop. (You can never stop.)
- Mirrorshades looking really cool instead of making you look like an absolute dickhead to everyone around you.
- That time when everyone in town was scared of that really big dog down on Walnut Street? You remember the dog? He was like… not totally black, but kind of a brownish-black, not like a rottweiler but sort of like it? He was mean and nobody liked him. Who lived in that house? Was that Jen’s uncle? Holy crap, it was Jen’s uncle? What’s Jen up to these days, is she on Facebook? Oh, she’s getting married to her girlfriend, that’s sweet.
- Answering What Are You Playing with modem sounds.
Bonus question: What is most likely to ruin your sleep on any given night?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Exercise games and Splatoon 3 are getting a workout, though since it’s the Pokemon/Splatoon collab Splatfest, I wanna give that more attention, especially given how disrespectful Niantic’s been to their playerbase the past few months.
Haha, the easiest thing to say that ruins my sleep is insomnia. Enjoy that sleep when you can get it, ya’ll!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I… have no idea what I’m playing. I’m feeling pretty drained and have no plan. Somebody tell me what to play. Maybe I’ll be in New World or something, why not.
Stress, staying up too late for one more game/one more episode, moderating trolls, and drinking caffeine past dinner.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I have achieved bunny rabbit mount in Guild Wars 2, so I will very likely continue roaming the Path of Fire areas to get mastery points while slowly working my mental way through the Weaver profession. I also am probably going to continue the casual level grind in New World and Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis. So really, same as last week.
I have to wear a CPAP machine when I sleep in order to manage my sleep apnea, so when that mask’s straps start to wear and it gets a bit off kilter, it wrecks my entire night.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): A bit of stuff in Final Fantasy XIV as per usual, and otherwise I’m not totally sure. I’m between games a bit at the moment, which means I should pick up a game I already have and work on that. Maybe I’ll get some prep work done in World of Warcraft, that’d be a larf.
You know that feeling about being wrong? Like, not wrong about an opinion or something, but that you are just basically wrong? You are a mistake of existence and you shouldn’t have been allowed to keep living this long, and every setback is fundamentally the universe correcting its mistake? You know, the grim and constant certainty that you are unlovable, a burden to everyone around you, a failure, a waste of space? That if anyone could see what life was like without you, they’d be happier? You’re a failure and you deserve to fail, to suffer, to die miserable, to be alone, you are fundamentally wrong and don’t deserve even a shred of happiness. You know, that voice that’s shouting in your head all the time, the one that at best is just a whisper and at worst is deafening, all day, every day, suddenly given nothing to distract it as it reminds you how you’re going to fail and suffer and you deserve to?
Or cats. Sometimes it’s cats.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): With my GW2 festival officially over I’m at a little bit of loss. New World is tempting but I think I’ll just stick with solo gaming this weekend. I started playing Death’s Door last week and have barely set it down. I think I’ll complete it and see where I go from there.
Bonus: nothing really. I don’t fall asleep quickly but I don’t have really any issues with sleeping. My body tends to want at least seven hours of sleep to run at 100%. I can operate pretty well at six for a couple of days but after that I need to get another seven or more.