I don’t know about you folks, but eggs are a staple protein in my household, and these past months watching egg prices soar upward from a combination of poorly mitigated bird flu, economic ruin, willful price gouging, and consumer panic has been a lot more than a punchline to me. But hey, not to worry: We can always buy our eggs in MMORPGs… right? It’s sort of the same!
For example, Guild Wars 2 eggs are only two and a half silver. I’m going to pretend that silver is nickels, but to be honest, even if silver is quarters, that’s still cheaper than eggs at my local Giant.
I had to drag myself through the Lymhurst lag to check out the Albion Online egg prices, and yes, 55 silver there is chump change. However, in Albion, it’s probably wiser to just set up your own chicken farm. No bird flu to worry about there!
LOTRO is a game where farming is a serious profession and Chicken Play is an actual thing you can do, so of course it has eggs – and cheap ones, too. I pay about 41 times the price of an egg for a basic pony ride, so yeah, this checks out.
In Ultima Online, you can just walk yourself over to any farmer NPC and buy hundreds of eggs in one go, not that there’s any real reason to do this in the game because cooking has been neglected for over 27 years. The most interesting thing that ever happened to cooking was when the devs admitted eating food didn’t actually improve skill gain, after we all sat around eating ham just in case for like 15 years. To be honest, 63 gold for eggs is kind of a stupid price in the game compared to the other things this farmer is selling, but it’s still just pennies in the modern UO economy. Besides, the only thing worth making with eggs here is egg bombs, which… well, this has never been a stock MMO. Do not eat the egg bombs.
Hey, get me a screenshot of egg prices in WoW so I can do a dumb April Fools’ joke, I said to MOP’s Justin, and he responded rather cheekily by finding me the most expensive eggs in existence. Or hell, I know inflation is real bad in WoW, so maybe 865K is reasonable now. Dammit, World of Warcraft. Way to make real life look kind of OK.
Perhaps chicken eggs are too pedestrian for you. If you, you may decide you’d like a dragon egg in Trove. I no longer remember what normal prices are in Trove, but I’m going to say this is a fair price for a mount that flies and breathes fire. Not sure I’d eat it, though.
Star Wars Galaxies actually has two types of eggs: the type of egg that is worth less than a credit because eggs are named ingredients in almost nothing, and the type of even more worthless egg that for some reason is sitting on somebody’s vendor for the highest possible price in the game, taking up valuable auction hall search space and ruining my serious economic essay. But I’m including it here because SWG does take the prize for the absolute ugliest eggs in an MMORPG. Look at how unpalatable that grey box of foodstuffs looks. Good god. If eggs looked like that in real life, nobody would want them.
MOP’s Eliot kindly fetched me a status report on the egg situation in Final Fantasy XIV, and the takeaway is that we should all move to Eorzea, where egg popularity is “average” and supply is “sufficient.” And then we should raid Eliot’s inventory because that boy has 899 eggs! Dude is loaded. Eliot, how many fridges do you even have in there? We’re never gonna have to wait in a two-hour Costco line ever again! We’re just gonna back our truck right up to his video game mansion.
An egg is smart cheap. Soft-boiled eggs are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals for some reason 13 times more than their unboiled counterparts in Project Gorgon. Someone who is good at the economy help me budget this.
I’m saving the best for last because in Glitch – specifically, the Odd Giants emulator – you don’t even need to pay for eggs. You can’t even if you wanted to, since the auction hall isn’t in yet! Instead, you approach an egg tree and give it a little shake to harvest some free eggs. Come on, science. If we can’t have flying cars or health care, at least give us egg trees.
Everyone likes a good list, and we are no different! Perfect Ten takes an MMO topic and divvies it up into 10 delicious, entertaining, and often informative segments for your snacking pleasure. Got a good idea for a list? Drop us a tip! Just no complaining about April Fools’ Day, OK?
