Welcome back to another thrilling episode of Who’s The Biggest Boor! Our contestants this week, once again, are JACOB and EDGAR! Jacob, why don’t you introduce yourself first?
JACOB: I refuse to introduce myself in any situation that I don’t get full control over, so I object to your hosting this show.
Outstanding! Edgar, it’s your turn!
EDGAR: I’m a free thinker, Mr. Hostman, and that’s why I have an Xbox logo instead of a face. I decided totally of my own volition that Microsoft is an excellent company that makes nothing but good decisions and deserves all of my money.
Thank you! All right, contestants, here’s your first question: You’re walking in the desert when you come across a tortoise –
JACOB & EDGAR, UNPROMPTED: I flip it over!
Amazing! That isn’t even the question. What Are You Playing readers, please burn this entry to the ground.
Bonus question: You have a magic greenhouse you can use to grow any crop you want where you currently live with no restrictions and will have enough extra to sell. What kind of farm are you running?
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Oh god, it’s gonna be like a gaming dim sum weekend. Little Mario Kart World, little Monster Hunter Wilds, some Splatoon 3, and some Pokemon Go to hopefully burn a few extra calories.
The greenhouse also needs a lock so someone can’t kill my plants. And those plants would be rhubarb, because I can buy dragon fruit around here but rhubarb is as rare as a modern MMO without gamble mechanics.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna.bsky.social, blog): I’ve got some real-life stuff to take care of this weekend, but I’m also gonna be setting up new Steam Deck! So who knows what I actually end up playing. I do want to check out some of the new Palia stuff that just landed, of course!
Okay, barring things that are still not legal in all states (ahem), I’d probably pick something high-value. Nuts, maybe? Vanilla orchids?
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes.bsky.social, blog): I, too, will be taking a peek at the new Palia stuff, as well as continuing to doink around some in Guild Wars 2. Right now I’m trying to settle on what class/character is going to be my main. It doesn’t seem like it’ll be my Engineer, so next to try is my Necromancer.
Bonus: Some kind of fruit bushes/trees. Or maybe a couple of them. That way I could start putting together and selling off my own selection of jams and preserves. Of course, this also assumes this fantasy wonderland would also mean it’s possible for me to not kill plants.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Usual Warframe and Final Fantasy XIV stuff, mostly, although I’ve been definitely hitting a stride with some single-player games I had been putting off for a while.
I’m really pretty tempted to say potatoes. People always need potatoes, they’re starchy and delicious and nutritious, and they’re not sexy but they are a staple. Then again, I did say a magic greenhouse, so I’m also tempted to go with pawpaws just so that I can have a steady supply and everyone else is in awe of my magic fruit. It’s how I win at Stardew Valley!
Sam Kash (@samkash@mastodon.social): I’ll be in and out a lot this weekend. Game time will be a premium. I’ve been trying to get started in Dune Awakening with moderate success. Overall, I’m pretty impressed with what the devs have put together. The tutorial runs really smoothly and I’ve felt mostly competent. It’s all been very solid survival so I’ll be interested to see how the multiplayer aspects really work.
Bonus: I’m going to cheat partially because I’ve only got two answers. First the cheatski, I’d go with an apiary. I love honey so much. I’d have all the bees and I’d love them. To answer the actual question I suppose I’d farm some cucumbers. As much as I love them, I really would be in it for the pickles. Pickle Town.
Tyler Edwards (blog): I’m still playing Path of Exile, but my motivation is flagging somewhat. The Immortal: Gates of Pyre playtest is still running, and while I keep telling myself I’m gonna stop playing so I don’t burn out before it even launches, I seem to keep coming up with more strategies I want to try. Might throw in some Overwatch or Heroes of the Storm – D. Va either way, I guess.
Bonus: Saffron, I need the money.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
