If all of the Scions from Final Fantasy XIV got into a fight, who would win? The answer, quite obviously, is that they’d wind up teaming up again because they love being friends with each other. Seriously, technically the Scions of the Seventh Dawn broke up at the end of Endwalker, but they still all hang out together and call each other when they’re in trouble and the only real difference is that there isn’t a formal structure in place any more for Ishgard to call them up and be like, “We need help not being racist about dragons, pls help.”
That having been said, I do believe that it is eminently possible to rank the Scions against one another because some of them are just more useful than others as an aggregate. What criteria am I using? Being right. Also a general assessment of how much they contribute in terms of resources, knowledge, and so forth. Not necessarily which one is your husbando. But it might still be that, too. There are actually way more members in the organization at its height, so we’re constraining it to just the top ten.
1. G’raha Tia
I was actually surprised a bit when I thought about this. I don’t think of G’raha Tia as being a Scion MVP most of the time, but then I realized that’s kinda how he wants to be perceived. But not only is he a good enough mage to serve as any role in combat, he’s also an accomplished spellcaster, a skilled physical combatant, charismatic and gifted at leading people in large-scale operations, and also just the ultimate chill bro. He can do basically anything other than easily reach tall shelves. We acknowledge one (1) short king. This is the only time that phrase is true! Otherwise you’re just short, guy.
2. Y’shtola Rhul
Cat supremacy hours, I guess? Y’shtola is not quite as diverse a mage as G’raha, but only quite, and a lot of that is because she has spent her time becoming more familiar with much more esoteric methods. She’s also incredibly smart, actually a decent leader (although she doesn’t tend to rely upon it), and more accomplished in formal academic debates than basically anyone. G’raha specifically doesn’t want the spotlight; Y’shtola, by contrast, just never lets the spotlight catch up.
3. Tataru Taru
I think people have collectively slept on Tataru’s accomplishments because in ARR the big point was how she was uniquely awful at everything she tried and that she is probably the only Scion who just cannot fight or even craft effectively. What Tataru is good at is business and making deals. That sounds like a small thing, but it means that she turned the Scions from being a fly-by-night operation to a group that can fundamentally call on manifested deities any time they need to. Tataru is the lynchpin of all of that. If not for her, the whole thing would have collapsed.
4. Urianger Augurelt
The funny thing about Urianger is that he talks all funny, but we know it’s an affectation, and despite that he’s not actually the smartest of the Scions. Or the second-smartest. In fact, Urianger probably hates to admit it because he keeps backstabbing people, but Urianger’s real gift isn’t magic; it’s emotional intelligence. He understands how to motivate people to do things and what people aren’t saying, and I have no doubt that a big part of why he hangs around with Thancred so much is that he’s bad at expressing that while Thancred is bad at getting it.
5. Alphinaud Leveilleur
I honestly expected Alphinaud to rank lower when I first started thinking about this because he is kind of a mincing idiot, and he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. But he is able to understand why he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Alphinaud does a lot of growing up over the game’s expansions, and he settles into the role of realizing that he’s not much of a leader, but he is a good guide. And how often does one of his seemingly irrelevant talents like art come up? Alphinaud’s a surprisingly flexible guy.
6. Thancred Waters
Thancred is your divorced dad who sends you three birthday cards every year; none of them are on your birthday, but all of them contain a gift card before he sees you a month later because he was out of town on business. He’s a mess, in other words, but he’s a mess who cares, and as much as I like to make jokes about him being a complete idiot, the fact is that he’s also charming in that regard. Like, he’s not as cool as he thinks he is, but the game has accepted that he’s Dante from the Devil May Divorce You But Grant You Lenient Visitation Rights series, and I love that for him.
7. Alisaie Leveilleur
It’s funny to me how even though Alisaie is also crazy smart (probably smarter than a lot of the other people on here), she doesn’t really want to be. Alisaie is a lot of fun, and I love her, but she is mostly interested in being the party’s resident Angry Sword Lesbian in contrast to her brother. And we love that for her, don’t get me wrong, but it does mean that she’s a bit of a limited instrument. Do you have a problem? Alisaie will probably solve it by hucking the magical equivalent of a molotov cocktail. If you want your problem to not be on fire, you should call someone else.
8. Krile Baldesion
I like Krile a lot. But Krile has a problem, and that problem is that everyone else is better at everything she’s good at. She’s smart, but most of the Scions are smarter. She’s a good administrator, but G’raha and Tataru are better. She’s friendly, but… you get the idea. That doesn’t mean Krile is a bad character; it just means that she is long stuck with also-ran syndrome. She is the group’s Quietly Competent Backbone.
9. Estinien Varlineau
Estinien is a barely literate murder hobo and I’m not mad about it. Like, Alisaie is very smart and she just prefers solving everything with violence. Estinien is not very smart and he solves everything with violence, and he is very good at violence which is why he’s in the group. That is his role in life. I am not kidding, I love that this group is a collection of honors students and general nerds and also the one guy who doesn’t know much about anything but does know how many pounds of force it takes to rip off somebody’s kneecap. Which would totally make him even lower-tier if not for the fact that Scions need to rip off a lot of kneecaps.
Bonus points for how in Endwalker he gets a chance to try to solve something with talking and his approach is literally, “Hey, moron, are you still whining?” Classic.
10. Riol Forrest
What? You don’t remember Riol? He’s been around for ages! He’s probably in Meracydia now! He’s basically like a version of Thancred who, instead of being a flashy spy idiot, actually just quietly does his job. You do your thing, Riol. I notice you. I remember you. You’re a chill guy.
Everyone likes a good list, and we are no different! Perfect Ten takes an MMO topic and divvies it up into 10 delicious, entertaining, and often informative segments for your snacking pleasure. Got a good idea for a list? Email us at justin@massivelyop.com or eliot@massivelyop.com with the subject line “Perfect Ten.”
