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Mr. Lizard. Mrs. Lizard. Scaly Max. Princess. Godzilla. Smaug. Smaugzilla. Captain. Ol' Slitherbelly. Borger. William. Super-William. William the Conqueror. William the Conqueror Specifically Of...

Turkeys: At least two of the neighborhood turkeys were guilty of bearing false witness when I asked them if they had seen my keys...

Please note, all commands assume you are facing right; reverse commands if you are facing left. All combos assume you are also playing in-person;...

Note: Due to general apathy, my updates for this thing will now be written for our robot audience by my helpful companion unit ZR-44581-Q....

It turns out I'm still angry! I mean, why exactly are you this reluctant to just go ahead and say "beta" at this point?...

Problem: Snake does not exist. Solution: Go buy a snake, you idiot. Problem: Snake is hissing at me and biting me and has indicated that it...

All crabs will now be able to pinch even harder, especially when in close proximity to items manufactured or distributed by the Banana...

MOP reader Styopa proposed this fun topic for Massively Overthinking this week, prompted, he said, by Standing Stone Games' recent promotions for Lord of...

Work getting you down? Why not handle it... like a wombat? Relationship not going super great? Have you considered fixing it... like a wombat?...

To whom it may concern, Thank you for your interest in this brave new existence of an alternate reality. Before the transfer is complete, please...

All right, this week's What Are You Playing is ready to go! Serious life advice about how to be less boring, let's do this,...

Fox Run Mall: Soothing atmosphere coupled with a poor layout and an unclear differentiation between the larger area and the proper Fox Run Mall...

Up arrow, up arrow, down arrow, left arrow, left arrow, right arrow, left arrow, down arrow hold, up arrow, left arrow, left arrow, left...

All right, people, it's time to keep your eyes open for doppelgangers. In this article, we're going to let you know about the secret...

"This week I am going to take the time to really cook this meal in a way I've never tried it before." Lasted until...

Once upon a time, there lived a turtle. He lived in a marsh. He sat on logs and sunned himself, when he got too...

Ryan Neibler (44) of Oceanside, Long Island: It was very important that I text my best friend a list of wombat facts I had...

Overture: several actual horse neighing sounds are played while the actors sit and vape on the stage. One of them occasionally says "horse" but...

First step, you should find a tire. This part is easy. Cars usually have several of them. Their owners tend to get mad when...

Sounds made: Car horn honking. Lightsaber noises. Screeching metal. The entirety of the Barenaked Ladies song "It's All Been Done." Cate Blanchett gravely saying,...