The Daily Grind: How do you handle frustrations in MMO group content?


I do my best to be a patient party member in group content, but I am not perfect. When we get to the point when the group is just not getting something, that’s when I get frustrated. And then I usually, well… go quiet. I don’t start yelling at my party members or anything, but I do tend to get a bit of stone-faced frustration going on. It’s not entirely to my credit, and it can make certain runs in games like Final Fantasy XIV particularly unpleasant.

Of course, this doesn’t come up all the time. Nine times out of ten, even in World of Warcraft, your group is good enough to do the dungeon and then go home. But every so often you do wind up with that group where everything just keeps going wrong. So how do you handle your frustrations in these group scenarios? Do you start giving orders? Yelling? Getting silent and glowering at the computer screen? Just flat-out leaving?

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!

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Oleg Chebeneev

If Im leader, I kick unworthy. If not, I msg to leader: “Gimmer a leader for a sec” then kick unworthy


Screaming over voice-chat and flinging poop.

Toy Clown

I had a situation in an FFXIV roulette group yesterday where the healer refused to heal the tank. She called him “fail” because I guess he wasn’t using some ability he hadn’t leveled high enough to have yet, and we were in a lvl 18 dungeon. I don’t know what the healer’s problem was, but her and the tank got into throwing text around. I stayed quiet for a few hoping they’d solve their issue and we could finish. But nope: I had to step in because I don’t have the patience for this kind of senseless, unkind crap.

I cut through all the BS, “Healer, will you heal please so we can finish?” It went from bad to worse and we decided to vote kick them, but we couldn’t when she was in combat. She started training mobs over all of us, killing us and once we were all back at the start, she got herself killed to, and that’s when we kicked her. We got another healer pretty quickly and we finished the dungeon with no further incident.

This is the type of stuff I have no tolerance for. It’s senseless, cruel and bullying, and I will step in and put a stop to it if the person getting victimized can’t take care of it.

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Personally, I’ll just roll with it. People make mistakes, shit happens, I’m not going to rage over it. And as long as other people are willing to try again, I’ll come along. That being said, when it’s obvious we’ll never finish because of whatever reason, I’ll let other people decide to quit first. All that being said, I also kind of avoid group content unless I have to. I used to enjoy it with friends and whatnot, and I don’t hate PUGs on principle, but it’s just not as fun doing it with people I don’t already know.

Dug From The Earth

I dont rage quit. I have a “3 strikes and im out” rule that I follow. Im courteous but verbal about it when it reaches this point, and then I leave.

Doesnt matter if its dungeon content or raid. Ive just got better things to do with my time than to become a virtual example of insanity.


I know I’ve seen (and posted) something to this extent before, but it really comes down to what I’m playing…

As DPS? Hey, its all good. FF14 is my current jam, and though the cutting of class-based role actions has killed several of my favorite classes survivability if things go bad, I still tend to be rather chill. Unless someone gets blatantly dumb and attempts to waste the groups time, I roll with it. Dzemael Darkhold was the only time I got mean as DPS during 2.0, and that was due to a fellow DPSer wiping himself repeatedly in the hall to the first boss and berating the tank to stop and, I quote, “Kill the boss here where he won’t fight back”. He ignored the blatant ‘immune’ pop ups when attacking it, stood outside of the light to get full damage and generally made an arse of himself. Playing DPS is how I unwind and relax, so that was a moment of rare frustration that I vented out on him. He fell into line pretty much right after.

Playing Tank or (more rare) Healer? Three strikes. Around Lich King era WoW I ran one of the mid-level dungeons, Blackfathom Deeps I think, and we were using the simple in-game party finder to do so. Paladin who queued up as and was marked as “tank” joins, we’re all set and we instance in. Immediately said Paladin refuses to do anything but DPS, yelling (all caps) about how he isn’t a tank and he just joins whatever is quickest to queue. He had Retribution Aura on, which is the Paladin Tank buff, and proceeds to tell me I have zero clue about how to DPS as a paladin and he knows what he’s doing cause he has ten paladins leveled… despite my main being a Retribution paladin. This was a party of 2 hunters, 1 mage, my Disc. Priest (in twinked out full heirloom gear) and him… suffice to say none of us were going to tank. He was dumb enough to believe me when I said “go ahead and pull, one of us will pull aggro off and tank” despite none of said classes there aside from Paladin having any form of taunt.

Suffice to say, I had previously whispered the others and informed them not to engage when he pulled. I let him die every time, then proceeded to tell him to equip a shield or deactivate his buff. He didn’t last more than 2 ‘pulls’ like that and ragequit. We shrugged and laughed, and proceeded to beat the dungeon with just said hunters, mage and myself. Because at the time, heirloom gear was borderline broken and when you had top of the line lvl 60 enchantments on all of it, a heal over time alone was doing all the work for me.

Aside from that and some Guild Wars 1 map clears, my experience has always been smooth! So I rarely get frustrated or angry… aside from having to deal with some bad luck on quest drops at the very least. Heck, I was a guaranteed anything for Aurum Vale in FF14, despite the apparent seething hatred and frustration everyone else had and still has for the place.

Kickstarter Donor

It depends on the situation. But typically speaking I do not yell, I do not rage, I do not finger point I am the calm one.

So if I am playing with friends I don’t say much I just suggest we try again or not, and suggest some possible changes to the plan. Thanfully the folks I’ve been playing games with for many years are super chill and we are able to play any role with each other and do so effectively and if we mess up we know how, and we try to sort it. We don’t finger point or blame, although we do make fun of quite often in good intentioned, light spirited ways of course lol.

If I am pugging and things go wrong well it depends on how they deal, if they are cool, we messed up lets try again and do X, Y, Z this time.. sweet, im down. But if they are all OMG you guys are uselss it was totally you fault, jeez can’t you morons play the game nubs.. yada yada.. often to hide the fact that the fault was indeed the one making all the noise I might add not the people they are ranting at. Then under those circumstances I simply exit the group, stick the offender on ignore and go back in the queue..

I have ZERO interest or tolerence in drama especially in something I do for fun and relaxation.

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Ashfyn Ninegold

I always start with patience, because when I don’t know an instance that’s what I want from my fellows. If I know what the problem is, I’ll offer a suggestion. Like, “run away when you see red circles”. But I don’t think piling on, especially in PUGs, is helpful. If someone asks for advice, that’s different.

People learn by doing and failing and trying again. The assumption among many MMO communities that you automatically know what to do in any given situation and exactly how to run the dungeon is really a killer. It can make people impatient and rude. Which means that the person who needs help experiences rudeness and impatience. Now maybe they take it in stride and keep on playing, but maybe they decided grouping is not for them and become a determined solo player. So the only thing that’s been accomplished is to alienate the new player or make them socially hardened and defensive.

I’ve run with some people who were incredibly knowledgeable and helpful. I ran PUG raids with one guy who would talk to every person in the group beforehand, make sure they were specced properly, understood their role and had the right consumables. As a consequence, we rarely failed. But it’s rare to find someone like that and having that kind of experience can spoil you for what you actually get most of the time.

A Dad Supreme

I curse out the people who cause the problems after making sure the mic is on mute. It’s not a problem since most times, I’m on “Push to Talk” anyways.

Easiest way to get it off your chest and vent at people in real time without having to build up stress from holding it in, which you do not want to do over a long time of gaming.

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I quit the group and block everyone involved. “That’s all there is to say about tha’at.” ;-)