Choose My Adventure: EVE Online is already a bad time


I knew there was a reason I wasn’t looking forward to this one.

I’ve dipped my toes into this piranha pool before. I first played EVE Online during Apocrypha, and came back to the game a while later when it went free-to-play. Now, I’m back in and already I’ve made a terrible mistake, and for a little while there, I wasn’t sure how to correct course.

My return flight went well enough, with a very guided tutorial that got me in to the basics of the game. I have to say that this new user experience is a lot better at layering on the basic systems of how piloting a ship in EVE works, though it also does teach you to orbit targets to engage — something that, as I understand, is bad practice. I’m unsure of a good alternative, frankly. As far as I was shown, you click to move in this game. I despise click to move in a 2-D plane, so doing so in 3-D is a fresh form of hell.

Also, the AI that guides you along is just a smug jerk.

That said, I followed through, got some ISK, and even was able to competently fly some missions on my own. In fact, things were looking up in terms of basic confidence level. It was on my second ever mission, though, that it got bad.

The objective seemed clear enough like other missions: warp to an area, take out some enemies, and head back to my Agent in order to rake in the reward. Warping to the location I had to go to, however, aimed me at a couple of acceleration gates. I’m not unfamiliar with how these things work, but it wasn’t immediately clear which of the two gates I should choose. So, on a 50/50 shot, I chose one. And I chose poorly.

Almost immediately, I was beset by a couple of enemies who made quick work of my doofy little Ibis. As good as the tutorial was, it didn’t really put me into a position where I had to figure out how to escape danger. The instructions I had received were more about engaging, not disengaging. So, without any sort of real way of knowing how to get away, I was reduced to a simple little pod.

It was at this point that I stopped to get my bearings and assess what went wrong. After all, this game is very much about getting back up after being knocked down, right? It was then that I noticed, in a corner of my screen that I don’t really look at, I saw a UI element that told me which acceleration gate to use. Strike one.

With that knowledge, I decided to head back to the station I came from and see if I could recover my exploded ship. For some insane reason, I had thought that the starter ship was already insured. I know about insurance. I’m keenly aware that insuring your ship is the first thing that should be done. I know that flying anything anywhere always carries the risk of having it lost. But this time, for reasons that I can only explain as part assumption and part stupidity, I didn’t actively check if my starter ship was insured.

As far as I could tell, I wasn’t. I was, presumably, left without a ship. Strike two.

Alright then, I think to myself. I’ll just repurchase another Ibis. They appear to be cheap, and I had made a whole big chunk of ISK from tutorials, a mission or two, and from refining scrap metal and selling the resultant item. Easy. I paid close attention to the fact that the Ibis I purchased was two jumps away, so I elected to head out in my little pod and make way.

…except for some reason, I wasn’t allowed to make way. The window where my ship was located even had a “Set Destination” button on it, but no destination appeared to my autopilot or to my navigation overview. I was utterly and completely lost, puttering around outside of a station in a pod, pushing buttons to see if I could make things happen. And I couldn’t.

Strike three. I’m out.

I, effectively, engineered my own demise here, and while I admit it was my own dumb fault a lot of the time, I also feel this just illustrates the relationship I have with EVE Online in general. There’s this sense of a force that repulses me from the game. Something astrological or maybe even aetheric that tells me to keep away. A polar opposite that ensures I’m unable to connect with the game. This could very well be my shortest CMA column yet. But the easy thing to do is quit, and I’m going to give it another shot.

A moment away from the frustration did get me to realize how to get to an Ibis, so I’m back in business once more. But before we continue on, there is one poll question that came to mind as I stumbled my way along. By the end of the tutorial, I was guided towards several career path NPCs, but I also have to admit that more time doing missions might be more prudent. On top of that, there was the old classic Cash for Capsuleers in-game email that I remember from my first ever flight in New Eden. So I suppose that’s the poll for this week. I recognize I’m effectively asking a similar question as last time, but clearly I need the guidance.

Which direction should I follow in order to progress?

  • The Agency. You learned a lesson, now apply it. (25%, 295 Votes)
  • Career Path NPC. You probably need more guidance. (65%, 778 Votes)
  • Cash for Capsuleers. It's a classic for a reason (10%, 118 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,191

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Polling wraps at the usual time of 1:00 p.m. EDT this coming Friday, June 12th. In the meantime, I just… need to step away from this one for a while. Try to cool down and refocus.

Welcome to Choose My Adventure, the column in which you join Chris each week as he journeys through mystical lands on fantastic adventures – and you get to decide his fate. Which is good because he can often be a pretty indecisive person unless he’s ordering a burger.

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Joshua Hanna

First ask questions in Rookie Help. Second, you caldari newbro, your ibis is a corvette every station can spawn a corvette they are effectively free. Just find the board my corvette.
Lastly eve is the best community cause vets will take time to help, they don’t know if you keep to yourself. Be social there is 100% chance solo will have you having a bad time.

Cap Arcona

Join a corporation! You’re missing out on the largest party of the game: community. By far and away the best stuff is with corps. Militia is a great place for new bros to get active and you have huge potential to make lots of money. Later on, when you’re about 7m skill points, joining an active nullsec alliance like Goons or TEST will get you to cut your teeth on big fleet actions. Even later, about 30m skill points, you can go hop in a wormhole to make the mega billions and get involved in evicting people or getting evicted yourself.

I’d be willing to help you out in nullsec if you are interested. I’m in a very active corp with a great CEO, even with low skillpoints I’m sure we could find something fun for you.


I would just give it up as a bad job to save yourself all the frustration later on. I ended up floating all my stuff in space so I would never go back. It was NS that killed my fun. Gangs of Russians just out to gank people and that’s how they get their fun. Budding little psychopaths. Nah I had enough, getting ganked is no fun at all.


do all the career agents as you’ll get ships and isk to start . then mosey over to the soe arc and do that in arnon . then its open for business . stay out of null go find some new bro npsi pvp in spectre and have fun . there are guides for missions and resists needed .. and a good travel guide

Jeremy Chante Reese

Like many others, I’m going to suggest joining a group as a 4th option. The better parts of the game are not accessible flying solo. Besides that, safety in numbers, it’s why the Null groups do so well.

WH’s and exploration is another track, exploration is one of the best solo activities for newer players, and learning to fly WH space will help you learn how to safely traverse the rest of eve.


little suggestions:
1. you can skip the very first tutorial if you feel it’s useless
2. you “must” complete all the “career agents” before even thinking going outside alone
3. if you choose the “mission runner” career, expecially at the beginning of your journey you must use a destroyer for level 1 security mission, cruiser for level 2 and battlecruiser for level 3, battleship for level 4 but they are not so easy and the ship+fit could be expensive for a newcomer.
4. find an highsec corp just to understand the basics (stay calm, i suggest only for the first weeks, it’s useless to go in ls o ns without even know what the hell are you doing), after you think you’ve understood what’s your goal, join the corporation that you think might suit better for it


From your description it feels like you tried “Worlds Collide” or a similar mission that has 2 gates. If so its a heavy incoming DPS on second pocket and needs to be tanked accordingly. For tanking a common mistake new players do is to either go fully omnitank instead tank the right damage or add both shield and armor tanking elements. You need to specialize really early on the game. Start using Eve Survival site for missions(google Eve Survival ) as it will help you a lot. At some point I almost stopped using it cause I know all missions(done them too many times) but it helped me the first couple years. Also the mission “Blockade” is a noob-trap. Fail to kill fast enough on it and waves keep increasing as they are timer-spawned

Antikoa Assworth

I think you should skip all three options then go join a factional warfare alliance/corp. pick one that takes and supports new players, even better if they have a training corp/div.; templis training academy actually gave pilots skill books (back when both were “things”)


It’s amazing how many people who never play Eve feel strongly compelled to comment negatively on it. It would be like me constantly dropping in on a Stardew Valley forum and telling everyone repeatedly how trash their game choice is. I have never commented negatively on a game I don’t play, and can’t for the life of me understand how low your self esteem has to be to feel the need to prop it up that way.


It’s also funny how “the sociopaths game of choice” contains some of the nicest and most helpful people I’ve ever had the pleasure to play with…I’m not saying asshats don’t play this game, they do, but the contrast is often stark when I play something else.


Probably because the normal people and traders and miners don’t get multi-page articles written about their exploits. “And in today’s news, everyone was nice. Details at eleven.” The ones people remember from their time in the game, or from articles about the game, are the sociopaths.

As far as I know something similar happens with traffic – people don’t remember the five thousand calm and sane drivers they shared the road with on the way to work. They remember the deranged, selfish pants-hat who roared up behind them at 30mph over the speed limit, cut in front of them with six inches to spare and nearly put them through the guard rail. Just so that he could be two whole cars in front of them when the highway runs through the next town and everyone stops at the first traffic light.

100 normal people won’t make your day, but one jerk can ruin it.

Bree Royce
Bree Royce

You know, last November, a little old Target check-out lady told me I looked too beautiful and young to have kids. It wasn’t true, but I’m still carrying that around and feeling good about it. A kind word from a normal person absolutely can make your day. :D

Jeremy Chante Reese

Sorry that was me, you were in my way and I had places to go. I will do it again, and have no qualms in doing so. I have a good driving history, 1 Accident in 20 years of driving. Police only ever warn me and only verbally. I have no reason not to be that Ass. Behold my privilege. /s

In Eve, bad actors are only ever punished when they take on more than they can chew, unfortunately they usually have perfect intel. So never punished.

Bruno Brito

This is the only game that i know of that one player can literally hit your real life wallet by targetting you inside the game.

Whatever you think of low self-steem just because your favourite game is being criticized, you can’t deny reality: EVE is known as a toxicity playground, and it’ll KEEP being known as that, because it gives the tools for it.


You’ve never seen those mobile games where you pay to build up your base then someones blows it up while you’re asleep? There’s thousands of them…


If you ever lose a ship you can always get a free one in a station, look for the button Board my Corvette once you’re docked in the left upper corner of the UI. If you have on in that station you’ll board that ship, otherwise, you get a free one. I’m definitely no expert but I can tell you joining a corp for help, asking questions in the Eve University channel, Rookie Help channel, and your language channel ie: English Help will teach you a lot. Also, I cannot stress enough how much good information is available on