The Daily Grind: Have you ever snubbed someone in an MMO?

    
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On the dark side.

Ah, the dreaded snub. It can be so subtle, so carefully orchestrated that the person snubbed is barely certain that a snub was intended. But the sting is still there, that feeling of being rejected by the very friends you rely upon. A snub is an awful thing, from the group-based antics of old-school Final Fantasy XI to your World of Warcraft raid group “forgetting” you had signed up for the fifth straight raid. It’s the sort of thing that makes you just want to log off and, well, stay logged off.

But sometimes we all go down that route. I know there are people I’ve snubbed myself, for reasons ranging from “this person is intensely unpleasant” to “this person is grotesquely incompetent and will get the entire dungeon run repeatedly killed while also being intensely unpleasant.” So today, we ask you for your own stories. Have you ever snubbed someone in an MMO? Worse yet, have you done so when you really didn’t intend to send that message?

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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quark1020
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quark1020

I’ve never been snubbed. I used to play a relatively competent tank back in classic WoW, and a decent healer post-WotLK, so I’m ALWAYS invited for raids. Nowadays, though, I just play for a month or two when the mood hits me, sticking with LFR, so I don’t really ever have the opportunity for getting snubbed.

As for being the snubber, outside of group content, I prefer to keep to myself or with a very small group of RL friends. As such, I’m up front about declining grouping unless I’m in an unusually charitable mood.

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Schmidt.Capela

I don’t care when it happens to me; my criteria for even starting to play a MMO is that I need to think it still enjoyable even if every single other player in the game refuses to play with me, so I start by assuming everyone will snub me and allow myself to be pleasantly surprised when I’m welcomed instead.

As for myself snubbing others, well, it can happen by accident, and I actually do something that might be seen as it intentionally: if someone is getting too dependent on me then I will take steps to cut that dependence, up to and including refusing to play with that player for a while. Having others that depend on me could trap me in the game when I’m starting to get burned out, and I won’t allow that to happen again.

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Bryan Correll
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Melissa McDonald

Nah, only been snubbed by my too-small guild in LOTRO when I’d log in at level 45 and they were too busy raiding level 55 stuff to want to play with me. Made me want to join a bigger guild, but I never did. I think it contributed to my decline in interest in the game though.

MurderHobo
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MurderHobo

During the EQ Velious days I had a new cleric foisted on me, voted in by bleeding heart ex-raiders in the guild. He was horrible. Specifically he would fall asleep without fail on every single raid we went on. This guaranteed that the entire raid would wipe every time we tried to do something.

So one night after he wiped us in West Temple of Veeshan a buddy and I noticed that this person had bound himself on the shores of the Cobalt Scar. So we pulled sirens repeatedly over his bind spot until he was deleveled to the point where he’d never be able to raid with us again and we watched his corpses rot.

That’s the only time I can remember ‘snubbing’ someone.

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starbuck1771

I have snubbed people and have been snubbed. It’s the nature of the game.

rafael12104
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rafael12104

I am not a snubber. I have a hard time doing it. So much so, that there are times I have played in groups and with peeps that I knew were going to cause us to fail. And yet, I did it because I want those that would be snubbed to improve and not be snubbed in the future.

To make a long story short, as a GM of my old guild, I allowed some difficult runs of content to ensure that everyone was included.

AND, there have been a few times, where I had to not just snub, but outright exclude players. Progression groups aren’t the time to make sure everyone has a chance to play. And, yeah, I’ve had to pull players aside and explain that they couldn’t come because they weren’t ready. I don’t think of it as a snub though. I didn’t pretend they were overlooked. No, in those cases I was upfront and straight up. Best way to deal with that, but it does get hard sometimes.

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Robert Mann

Constantly. Most of them don’t know, though, or if they do likely don’t care. Most of the chat trolls don’t exactly get upset when somebody puts them on ignore.

Actual friends… on rare occasion. Usually I intend to help them learn, and I try not to be rude about it, but a couple times words have slipped past me that seemed innocent enough on first thought, but weren’t quite so nice. Thankfully we all have a policy about noting when somebody does something like that, and so it goes through a quick little cycle of comments, apologies, and clarifications of what is going on. Usually ending up with us all helping fix whatever is wrong, or with the person noting that they understand they are doing something odd and explaining why (which is cool, we just all want to know why something odd is going on!)

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Adri

Yeah I snubbed people a lot. I don’t waste my ingame time with people who are incompetent.
I think you don’t fit in this group? I gonna tell you! 100% certain. It might be harsh but you definitely know what I think of you. I don’t like to act friendly around people I don’t like. Not in my free time ..

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theblackmage75

Sadly, I’ve been guilty of snubbing someone.

I used to play SWG with a couple of RL friends, and there was this one guy who would pester us every time I was logged on. Sending rapid-fire, inane tells; constantly begging us to do this or that, to meet him here or over there; making all sorts of incessant suggestions on how we ought to be playing. Eventually, I would call my friends and ask if they’d seen this player online before logging in or I’d simply ignore his tells altogether, hoping he’d get the picture and leave me alone.

At some point, his playtime dwindled and then he disappeared altogether.

Looking back on it, I’m ashamed to have treated him that way. At the time, he was simply an incredible nuisance to me, but in retrospect I believe he may have been a rather socially-awkward fan of the game looking for the exact same kind of camaraderie that my friends and I shared. Considering that nothing he ever did was remotely malicious, I really ought to have handled the situation with more maturity and empathy.