what are you playing

Interstate 84: Hey, you! You're fat. You're stupid and fat. No one likes you. You smell like reclaimed caulk. Fat. Fat. Fat. Route 66: Ooh,...

What you'll need: A box of plastic disposable forks. Four bottles of foaming shaving cream. Rubber bands. Glitter. A Roomba. One full set of...

Ham hunters! Hunting ham! Not pigs. Pigs are where you get ham. They're just hunting actual ham. Why would you think they were hunting...

Please note, the following is to be read if you are not Kyle only. If you are Kyle, do not read beyond this warning...

While wearing this ring, you cannot be harmed by a hedgehog in any way. You cannot take damage from any hedgehog-related source. If a...

Birds Big birds Small birds Nuthatches Fish Birds Fish Bats bats batty bay avast ye, this be the bay of bats hearken ye...

For $1: "Werewolves aren't real." "I'm just not." "Why are you asking me this?" "Already a vampire." "Mange." For $3: "Werewolves are real but they're...

Once upon a time there was a wombat. This wombat's name was Simon Birchson. Everyone thought this wombat was very cute and nicely rotund,...

cmon five more minutes. gimme five more minutes. just gimme five minutes. just need five minutes. give me five minutes. only five minutes. demanding...

Chapter 3: "But I Never Asked About The Walrus" At this point, my options were basically limited to either buying my way into college, buying...

DON'T: Yell at your bees. DO: Yell encouraging things at flowers while making it clear that the yelling is not directed at the bees. DON'T: Throw...

Advantages: Double-jointed (5 points) Triple-jointed (10 points) My limbs are covered in joints like one of those snakes you could get at a carnival...

Now that we're done with What Are You Playing, we can look back at some of the great memories this column has produced over...

Well, folks, it's been a lot of fun doing all of these columns. We've laughed, we've cried, we've done that thing where we laugh...

That troll who obviously wanted the answer to be "time" but actually phrased it so that "your mom" is a valid response: Look, he...

The Douglas household: Thrown in the garbage. The Foster household: Thrown in the garbage. The Michaels household: Thrown in the garbage. The Johannsen household: Artificial; will be...

Earlier this week, we named our biggest MMO story of the year and gave it an award, though we imagine it's hard for a...

I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree A little...

Base Requirements: Probably should be some. The presence of motorcycles is important. Let's just say +5 BAB? Hit Dice: Oh, yeah, those are super important,...

Act I: The beginning. Click. Whoosh. Squirt, squirt, squiiiiiiiiiiiiirt. Whoosh. Squirt! Squirt squirt squirt squirt. Whoosh. Squiiiiiiiiiiirt. Whoosh. Squirt, blorp. Whoosh. Act II: The burping. Squirt, blorp,...