Have you ever fought a boss monster that didn’t feel like it deserved your fatal blows? Sure, it’s just a video game, and the pang of guilt can sometimes be described as fleeting at best, but now and again I run into a fight that really makes me pause for a moment and wonder what it’d be like to approach the big monstrous thing I’m whaling on with some food or a nice pet on the snout instead of the business end of an impossibly large weapon.
Since one of my favorite multiplayer online game sub-genres is the monster slaying one, a la games like the Monster Hunter series or Dauntless, I very often regard certain critters with a sense of curiosity instead of naked aggression. I imagine what these creatures would be like in a comfortable pen. I envision having a big monster zoo. I envision the sensation of giving these beasts a hug. These are the top ten most huggable monsters I’ve come across in games like this. I’d like to say this list isn’t up for debate, but I also am intrigued to know if others agree with this sentiment and have thoughts on this lineup, so please sound off in the comments. But don’t threaten these huggable friends.
10. Kulu-Ya-Ku
I feel like the Kulu-Ya-Ku would benefit most from pets, but it also would be too skittish and weird to really be a huggable friend. Still, this monster strikes me as a silly and curious sort of creature that would thrive in a large carefully managed environment. It would be like keeping a very large ostrich. I would make sure it had plenty of food and water and rocks to play with.
9. Royal Ludroth
This big, spongy friend would probably be like hugging a damp wad of bath towels, but I would absolutely do it because it’s such a plush lumbering friend. More interesting than a Great Jagras and likely more fun to cuddle, this monster definitely deserves a great big dose of affection in my view.
8. Gnasher
OK, so this one is basically just an angry beaver and it almost always seems to have an aggressive disposition, but you also have to have wondered at least one time what it’d be like to hug a beaver. So why not just multiply that presumed experience by a factor of about 10? Go on. You know you’re as curious as I am.
7. Lagombi
It’s a rabbit bear! These are two of the most cuddly-looking friends ever made and they’ve been combined into one plump, squishy buddy! I mean, I would not advise hugging bears in the wild and leaving rabbits alone, but I also recognize the plushiness of each one, so meshing that into one delightful squish monster is just asking for some of my hugs.
6. Mizutsune
Hugging a dragon is probably not smart practice, let alone one that issues a lot of soapy bubbles. Still, there’s something about the Mizutsune that makes me think it’d be an extremely placid and playful creature that would love a lot of contact. I imagine getting done hugging this beast would leave one absolutely drenched and probably sore from all the wriggling, but also extremely pleased.
5. Shrike
It’s an owlbear! The big squishiness of a bear and the fluffy soft down of an owl! You know the Shrike would have big warm hugs. You know there would be plenty of plush friendly fat to hug. And you know that the Shrike would totally appreciate the hugs. I also bet it’d protect you from danger if you were threatened.
4. Paolumu
I’d be an absolute idiot if I didn’t include this big, fluffy, puffy balloon bat lizard in the list. Another creature that always seemed like it wanted to mind its own business, the Paolumu looks impossibly soft, especially when its neck is ballooned and it just floats around. I bet hugging a Paolumu would be like hugging an oversized fluffy dandelion.
3. Pukei-Pukei
This monster is incorrectly named. His name is Sir Slorpington the Third, and he is a good boy who wants to do nothing more than eat nice shrimps and get these cuddles. I don’t care if he’s a poisonous monster, he is a friend and I always felt bad hunting him. In fact, I only fought him once and let him live in peace. Because he’s a sir.
2. Dodogama
Look at this absolute unit. This majestic chonker. This stupendous specimen of squishiness. The Dodogama is the biggest, happiest, goofiest critter I’d ever laid eyes on and I have almost always felt bad taking one on. He’s a big derplizard that must be protected at all costs and cuddled at every opportunity. Even if he’s probably too dumb to know what’s happening.
1. Sporestruck Charrogg
No monster in this list brings me more joy whenever I see it than the Sporestruck Charrogg. The vanilla Charrogg is fine, don’t get me wrong, but it also seems like it’d be kind of rough and itchy to hug. The Sporestruck variant, however, looks nice and soft and would no doubt be fun to hug from every angle. This monster and I would totally live out our days peacefully in the forest, and he would be petted and hugged and cared for to the absolute fullest.
Everyone likes a good list, and we are no different! Perfect Ten takes an MMO topic and divvies it up into 10 delicious, entertaining, and often informative segments for your snacking pleasure. Got a good idea for a list? Email us at justin@massivelyop.com or eliot@massivelyop.com with the subject line “Perfect Ten.”
