The Daily Grind: What’s the most impractical-looking MMO weapon?

    
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Fight deities.

As a long-time purveyor of MMORPGs, I totally get that visuals and style are the true game and all else supports that. We love to get new armor and weapon models, and the spiffier, the better.

Yet what starts as a gradual increase in quality — a chipped wood sword upgrading to a battered tin blade — soon escalates into a show of one-upmanship among the art team to make the most visually over-the-top weapon possible. Swords grow larger than some skyscrapers, longbows shoot adolescent unicorns as arrows, and a four-foot-nothing character is seen casually wielding a full-bore cannon stolen from a ship of the line as a “pistol.”

In your experience, what’s the most impractical-looking MMO weapon that you’ve come across?

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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Bannex

Demon hunter war glaives. How do you even attack with those?

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Ken from Chicago

Clearly it’s the “Great” weapon, Great sword, Great axe, Great gun, any of those over-sized weapons that’s taller than the wielder.

Anime goes to ludicrous extremes:

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SmiteDoctor

Speaking of anime and chainsaws https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyonP1AgC0k

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creationguru

I will go the other direction with the summoner in FFXIV in that who the hell brings a book to a fight.

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Ken from Chicago

A magic-users / sorceror / wizard.

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wjowski

Books are an underused caster weapon imo

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Bruno Brito

Casters who need foci, and normally, mages and wizards in phantasy are not talented spellcasters, but instead they are taught. Which means books to keep their spells are necessary. They aren’t *born* with magic, they learn it by applicating it like a science.

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SmiteDoctor

What if we had a Bard Class where everytime you drew your weapon a member of the Wu Tang Clan would pop out with Kung Fu movie Dubs, your ultimate ability when playing GW2 or ESO would be Ol Dirty Bast!rd.

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Turing fail

Or this

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SmiteDoctor

I can respect that.

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Minimalistway

Which game have a painting class? or maybe it’s a graffiti class? shooting paint somehow harm mobs.

Ok i found it:

Aion South Korea’s new Graffiti Artist class will paint the town red (and every other color too)

it’s Aion, i think this is most impractical weapon.

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Put a lighter in front of the paint stream and you may have an improvised flamethrower… lessons from a misspent youth.

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Sleepy

Gotta be Tera’s gunner class, which, I hasten to add, I have never played. I have standards. And a bad back.

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Minimalistway

In other games, this is the size of a mount.

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Witches

There’s a mount like this in Champions Online.

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Bryan Correll

I was thinking “Is that a gun or a motorcycle?”

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blah blazh

fun class to play but yeah, ridiculous weapon

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Any weapon bigger than the person wielding it. I wouldn’t want to lug most game weapons around IRL, they look so heavy.

My little work laptop soon becomes a burden when I’m traveling with it, so I can’t imagine humping multiple, massive blades, guns, and whatever else around for any length of time.

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Ken from Chicago

Yeah, a real wag the dog situation.

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IronSalamander8 .

This is a long, long list! I’ve not played much Guild Wars 2, but seeing that pic from Bruno, that thing may well be the winner!

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Bruno Brito

I was going to go on a whole rant about weapons in general in games being cumbersome, even their most realistic depictions.

Then i remembered that the Chaarzooka exists in GW2.

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Bruno Brito

.

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IronSalamander8 .

Holy giant blunderbuss Batman!

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Bruno Brito

Welcome to Guild Wars 2, the game where a 21-gun salute can be done with two shots of this abomination.

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Utakata

Those look more like something you smoke than shoot with. o.O

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SmiteDoctor

Maybe we can get a new mount in GW2 based off of the van in Up In Smoke made out of Weed, the more you ride it the more the game warps your experience.

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Bruno Brito

Honestly, you should be allowed to mount this thing when anyone aims with it.

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If those were male characters, I’d suspect massive overcompensation was the issue… weapons that size usually come with wheels.

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SmiteDoctor

You don’t understand the struggle, I’ve had to put it in a wagon which I had to drag up to school uphill both ways in the snow (I’m kidding I’m in the average range)!!!

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Ken from Chicago

I’d think those weapons were designed by male DEVS. Whether they compensating, I’ll let you be the judge. 😱🤣🤣🤣

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Sleepy

Shoots live, angry Charr at your opponent.

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Bruno Brito

They have a cow-tapult in one of their zones.

They are all about shooting live ammo, in the most literal of senses.

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SmiteDoctor

A lot of GW2 2 Hand Weapon’s Clip, hell if you’re a Charr you’re a clipping machine in general (Might as well be considered a Racial passive ability lol).

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Bruno Brito

Yeah, but the Charrzooka is the only weapon that clips by default in any race because it’s bigger than your model.

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Utakata

The Lyn Warden blade in B&S…to carry. Not because it’s debatably a huge weapon to wield properly for such a tiny body. Rather because it cuts a 2 foot (61 cm) gouge into whatever ground whenever she walks around with it on her back. >.<

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Utakata

PS: …as the reason why I screen here like this, because where the tip portion of the blade is being cut from the pic at the bottom is because it’s stuck in the ground always like that. And /sigh.

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