Hello, friend!

WRUP: Mikhail, the first vendor you see in town edition

Hello, friend! Would you like to trade? You'd like to sell? Seventeen ? Very good, here's your money! May you find good fortune in...
It's a car.

WRUP: Advanced street-crossing techniques edition

The Backwards Banana: The... the what? What the heck is this? What do you want me to type here? Are you supposed to backflip...

WRUP: How to use all the social media sites edition

Twitter: You have two options here. The first is that you can go around incessantly correcting people for things you think are errors based...
john madden john madden john madden john madden

WRUP: My fantasy football season results edition

Drafts: Was asked multiple times by the lads whether or not I knew anything about football and repeatedly insisted that I did. My first pick...
This one is for my wife folks

WRUP: The following contest is scheduled for one fall edition

Now entering the ring, from Toronto, Ontario, weighing in at 235 pounds, it's Bobby Roode! His opponent, from San Jose, California, weighing in at...
Ham ham ham ham ham.

WRUP: The incorrect things you have written addressing gifts to DJ Jazzy Jeff this holiday season edition

Donald Joseph "Jazzy" Jeffries DJ Jazz-liking Geoff Hambone Lord DJ Jazzy John Hopkins I like hamburger Deejazzy Will Smith Mini-Will Smith Jaden Smith ...

WRUP: Places where the hag’s curse afflicts me not edition

The hag did curse me, o my kinsfolk, but forsooth, I outsmarted her once again! With a wizened finger she did point and proclaim...

WRUP: I like hamburger edition

I like. Hamburger. I. like hamburger? Hambuuuger. Ham. bougar. I liek hamburger with CHEEEEESE i liek hanbarger. Man e placse serve hunborgor four ME...
The monkeys know.

WRUP: New conspiracy theories for Winter 2019 to Spring 2020 edition

Seltzer is just denatured alcohol that has been yelled at by professional Yell Masters. It's why White Claws taste good. (If you think they...
This might have.

WRUP: Which ingredients in your burrito have angered the Bog Witch edition

Cilantro: The Bog Witch doesn't like cilantro. She hates explaining that to people because people are always asking her if it tastes like soap...
We also like making you get dumb things!

WRUP: Nearby parallel universe directory edition

Index 47289983-BBA-4683: Ducks do not quack but sing the Ghostbusters theme song. Index 47289983-BBA-4684: The Ghostbusters theme song is just ducks quacking. Index 47289983-BBA-4685: Stan Lee...
Be kind

WRUP: All the words from the Wikipedia entry on ‘Garbage’ starting with the letter D edition

Discarded due does disposal discard describe discards discard distinctions disposed divided derived down dry dry distinction describe dry discarded days dry dissipated discarded designed...
So much for good times. Or all right times.

WRUP: That good times thing actually sounded nice edition

So... hey, Ion, you're not reading this, but just for the record? I know you were trying to tell a big old jokey-joke with...
Banjo music.

WRUP: Old Rancid Mike’s Vile Garbage Salad edition

Back in 1844, a man named Michael Harrington took over a small storefront in Queens, NY with a simple goal: To serve gullible idiots...
Some of the words are here.

WRUP: Yes these are all of the good words edition

As a long-time professional... write... person... writeranarian? Write-maker. As a professional for whatever my field is called, some people think it is my job...
This is like my phone.

WRUP: All of my cell phone’s notification sounds edition

Email (Work): The sound of a man smashing his fist through a plate-glass window followed by a series of epithets making it entirely...

WRUP: Cynthia’s report about hedgehogs has raised some concerns among the faculty edition

Look, Cynthia is a bright eight-year old. All of us know that. But the thing is... well, some of us among the faculty have...
This picture is about horses.

WRUP: Things Kyle’s mom does not actually let him do edition

Stay up as late as he wants: Kyle's mom has a bedtime for him that's actually earlier than yours. Kyle is just a little......
Thanks, I hate it.

WRUP: Has the whole world gone crazy checklist edition

STEP 1: Assessing the world Does the world appear to have gone crazy? If YES, go to Step 2 If NO, CHECKLIST COMPLETE STEP 2: Assessing the cause...

WRUP: What’s in the Forgetting Closet edition

Last week's car bill: This is how I save so much money on my car loan. The company forgets they sent it and then...