We’ve all partied with them. The people who could take the simplest mechanic and screw it up. Players who think that “don’t stand in the bad” means “grab every bit of bad for myself and myself alone.” In Final Fantasy XIV, it’s the Bard who stacks when targeted by an AoE but runs away from the group when finally targeted by one where stacking is required. It’s the Death Knight who provokes after queueing as DPS in World of Warcraft. The Sniper who never enters cover in Star Wars: The Old Republic. You get the idea.
If you’re grouped with them, you probably will complain to your friends. But will you share it on a larger stage?
A subreddit I browse semi-regularly is in the middle of having a discussion about precisely that, whether posting these sorts of “look at this awful player” threads do more harm than good. Personally, I tend to think that they’re ultimately a negative thing, reinforcing an attitude of elitism and shaming instead of trying to teach people or just moving on. At the same time, I can understand people putting it forth as a cathartic exercise or just for a few moments of humor. So what about you? Do you like sharing player rage stories in MMOs?
Lately, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about our new mail-order badger system. “Why should I order a badger through the mail,” you ask, “when I could simply walk to the local field and be assaulted by dozens?” And that’s a good question! But it’s one with several easy answers in list form just below.
- Deluxe Badger-Guard Plastic Protection: Only our mail-order badgers feature Deluxe Badger-Guard Plastic Protection. What does this fantastic protection do? Who cares! You can only get it from us.
- Very few rotting oranges: When you order from us, it’s highly likely that we will ship you an actual badger instead of a pile of rotting oranges with the approximate mass of a badger. The field, meanwhile, could just be covered in rotten oranges.
- Sleek, glossy coat: None of our badgers actually have a sleek, glossy coat, but our stock photos do.
- The field is for drug addicts and vagrants: If you go into the field, the State Vagrancy Police will arrest you and throw you in a cell. Is that really how you want your grandchildren to remember you?
Clearly, our mail-order badgers are the only way to go! Send a check or money order for $46.75, plus $3.00 for shipping and handling, plus $4.00 for emotional wounds, minus $1.00 for physical wounds, plus a number of dollars equal to the last digit of your zip code just for the heck of it. Also, leave your weekend plans in the comments down below, because it’s What Are You Playing time.
Golf! It’s technically a sport, but it’s mostly a waste of space and resources under the guise of one. Rather than actually wasting water, land, and time on a real golf course, why not play Shot Online Golf and get almost the same experience without any of the real waste? You can sign up for the game’s first closed beta now; the testing starts on May 31st. Of course, there’s always the vague possibility that the game secretly offers epic raid boss encounters, but let’s not leap to conclusions.
As for the rest of the beta news? Gaze below, friends.
- Curious about the progress of OrbusVR’s most recent closed alpha? You don’t have to just be curious; you can just check out a recap and thoughts on the matter. There were only about 100 people in the testing, so you might need the recap.
- The Worlds Adrift closed beta has arrived! No longer in alpha, you’re now testing in the second letter of the Greek alphabet! It’s meant to last about four months before an open beta for everyone, so get your testing in now.
- Win That War is out in early access and offers a large-scale multiplayer RTS experience. Just remember which war you’re supposed to be winning, which should be fairly straightforward given the title.
- The last big testing update for Albion Online has gone live, complete with revisions to several zones and the new Black Market feature. This one is named Hector, although politeness dictates you should refer to the update as “Mister Albion Online patch” unless it informs you that you can just call it Hector.
- The alpha for Legends of Aria (which is Shards Online but also not Shards Online) has begun, so you can jump in and start experiencing what the game has to offer. Best of all, if you don’t like some of the rules, you can always change them.
- Last but not least, Kritika Online is in closed beta. We have no more keys to give for the beta test, but you can still buy your way in if you’re so inclined.
Now, Mr. Bond, I expect you to go below and look at all of the other items in the list which are in testing. I also expect you to let us know if something slipped into a new test phase under our noses. And I wouldn’t mind if you let us know what you’re testing, if it’s not under NDA. Frankly, I don’t expect you to talk, but I wouldn’t mind it. It gets lonely out here.
It’s a great big world out there, full of opportunities for adventure. It’s also a great big world in Gloria Victis, made even bigger when you consider that the most recent patch has added more than 50% more world on to the existing… er, world. That means more land and more regions to explore, ranging from mountain villages to houses scattered through the wilderness. You’ll also have more animals to hunt, more resources to gather, and more overall world to explore and tame.
That in and of itself is cool, but players can also look forward to the game’s long-awaited major combat upgrade taking place next month. There’s even another world expansion being planned, along with a new culture for players to explore. So the game is getting bigger, the combat is getting more satisfying, and the space to roam is getting wider. That’s going to give you some opportunities for adventure right there.
You’ve still got some time before Stormblood
releases. What are you going to do in Final Fantasy XIV
until then? Gamble
, obviously. The Make it Rain event returns to the game on May 29th
, running until June 12th and giving players an opportunity to win some Gold Saucer-themed prizes in an event no doubt intimately tied with the gambling emporium itself. It’s the next best thing to early access coming even earlier.
The event starts from a down-on-his-luck gentleman in the streets of Ul’dah, although the details of what players must do after the fact remain shrouded in mystery. What is known is that players can get a new hairstyle, a stuffed incarnation of Senor Sabotender himself, and three new Triple Triad cards along the way. So get ready to rake in the MGP and celebrate gambling away truly absurd amounts of money in a few days. It should keep you distracted until you can play a Samurai, at least.
It’s been two years since Heroes of the Storm first launched, which seems a little weird; it feels like it’s been less time. But the calendar says otherwise, and Blizzard is celebrating with special in-game events from May 30th through June 12th. Log in to play to earn daily Loot Chests, just by showing up and getting into the action. It’s a celebration and an incentive to get back into the game all at once!
You can also earn a special two-year anniversary banner, spray, and portrait by playing three games during the anniversary; you don’t need to win them, you just need to play them. Considering the time period, this shouldn’t be a difficult hurdle to overcome. These items will only be available during the anniversary, so get in the game and start celebrating now if you’ve got an overwhelming need to tell people you were around for the two-year mark.
The good news for Secret World Legends players is that you won’t need to pay money for the game. You won’t even need to pay money for things in the game that would otherwise cost money. The game offered a new post today detailing the free-to-play model, which will allow players to exchange Aurum (the microtransaction currency) for Marks of Favour (earned through daily challenges and normal play) and vice-versa. So if you never want to drop a cent, you can avoid it.
Weapon unlocks, some vanity items, weapon upgrades, the auction house, cosmetic changes, and some undisclosed elements all require Marks of Favour. Aurum, meanwhile, is used for unlocking inventory slots, character slots, progression boosts, bank space, other vanity items, and so forth. Allowing you to exchange between the two means you can always get more Aurum without necessarily spending money, although only time (and player purchases) will tell how generous the exchange rate is.
Guns are a pretty important part of Grand Theft Auto Online. If you’re going to play a hardened criminal, you probably want to have lots of things to point and shoot, after all. But why stop there? Why not go full-on into offering some high-tech military overhauls for even the most conventional vehicles around while also providing people with the very latest in personal surface-to-air missile launchers? If that sounds like your jam, you’ll be very happy with the game’s Gunrunning update coming in June.
The gunrunning operations are based out of southern San Andreas, and players will be locating various hatches which can be converted into headquarters for manufacturing, upgrading, and distributing powerful weapons. More details will be forthcoming soon, but you can check out the first screenshots below and let your mind fill with the image of putting heavily armored cars with rotating chaingun turrets on the streets of Los Santos. This is a series which routinely has tanks rumbling down the street, it might not be that much of a stretch.
The end is coming to Shroud of the Avatar. The next patch for the game, release 42, allows players who have succeeded at the quests for the paths of Love, Courage, and Truth to begin walking the Path of the Oracle. This is the culmination of the game’s storyline, so if you’ve been waiting to see how it’s all going to turn out, the next patch is your time to shine.
Of course, there’s a lot more in the patch than just that. Players who are just getting into the game can enjoy more polish passes on the new player experience, for example, and players of any experience level can enjoy the new combat balance changes to make the game a bit more balanced and fun. There’s also the in-game mail system and improvements to enemy AI, so no matter where you are with the story, you’ll find something to do. It’s just worth noting that the people waiting to see the Oracle are finally going to get their payoff.
Everything is better doubled. Get a paycheck? It’d be even better if it were two paychecks. Got a car? You could have two cars. Appendectomy? Make it a double
appendectomy; have your doctors get the other appendix out while they’re in there. That’s why ArcheAge
is doubling a whole lot of rewards for its Memorial Day event
. You’ll get doubled experience and honor points through May 30th, doubled experience and vocation badges from May 31st through June 6th, and tripled
experience, honor, vocation badges, and loot drop bonuses from June 7th until June 13th. We’re willing to count triples under the larger header of doubling.
If you can pull yourself away from all of that experience, you can also check out the game’s next major update on a stream this Friday, starting at 4:30 p.m. EDT. The stream will cover crafting and regrades in the game’s upcoming Erenor Eternal update, along with a look at some of the gear coming along for the ride. You can even make it a double livestream by opening up two windows with it playing; that won’t actually improve anything, but it probably won’t hurt, either.
Want to grab a little extra when you start your adventure in The Elder Scrolls Online: Morrowind? You should probably pick up the expansion’s Discovery Pack because it contains stuff. Stuff like a Warden costume, so your character can look like a Warden. Presumably, that holds true even if your character is not a Warden, although the lack of a bear will probably give you away. You can try to throw people off of your scent with your Dwarven War Dog pet, but dogs and bears aren’t really the same thing.
Of course, you won’t need to throw anyone off the scent if your character is a Warden, and said Warden can probably benefit from the included experience scrolls. You’ll also get treasure maps, a Dwarven crown crate, and another bug pet if you pre-order on the PlayStation 4. So there’s a lot of stuff in the Discovery pack; you can pick it up until June 6th if you want to start your Morrowind exploration in style.
When we last left off in Neverwinter
, I was finding out whether or not people wanted me to purchase the game’s subscription-but-not-really. You voted a resounding no, although quite a few of you voted no on the basis of this making me angry faster or something like that. Guys, is this a thing? Do you just want me to be sad? I don’t think we can be friends if that’s the case, and I’m usually sad anyway. It’s not a long walk.
Also, Ceilarene was hot on the trail of the thieves who stole the crown of Neverwinter. Or somewhat warm on the trail, at least. The crown in question isn’t a magical artifact, though, it’s just a crown. I think it’s just a mark of office, anyhow; it might be magical after all. Either way, it does confer a certain degree of status and it looks really neat, so presumably I should actually chase after the jerks who stole it. That means heading to another district of the city, the Blacklake District. If that sounds like a bad part of town… well, yes.
I do not move between games with a full entourage. I have one person who comes with me from game to game, maybe two, and the most likely person to come along is my wife. This means that there are many people I have met over the years from Final Fantasy XI onward whom I have just lost touch with. There are friends I made in Guild Wars who I no longer speak with, people I knew in World of Warcraft who have drifted away, even some people who have subsequently left Final Fantasy XIV and whom I just… don’t talk with any longer.
And yes, some of these people are folks I miss. It’s not exactly surprising that we’ve lost touch, but at the same time, these were cool folks and I hope they’re doing all right. Of course, there are also people I’ve lost touch with whom I probably wouldn’t really care much about even if I could find them again, so everything is variable. What about you, readers? Have you ever lost touch with an MMO friend when you wish you hadn’t?