If you’re anything like me, your ownership of a sleek and affectionate thylacine is one of the greatest points of pride in your life. It’s much better than your stupid brother’s three kids, that’s for darn sure. Let’s see your precious little Kylie fend off an attack from my thylacines, Gregg! Why are you dad’s favorite? I’m a person too, dad! My thylacines are my children!
Anyhow, here are my tips for taking optimal care of your own thylacines!
- Whatever you do, avoid Australia and surrounding islands! People there get very weird about thylacines for some reason. Someone offered me two million dollars and I ran onto the next plane I could find. It brought me to Mumbai! Life is an adventure.
- Make sure to feed your thylacines very expensive meat. That meat isn’t for you. It’s too good for you. Deep in your heart, you know that you don’t deserve wagyu. The thylacine does, though. It deserves wagyu. It deserves all the wagyu.
- Construct a pit trap in your yard to catch Australians! They will come for your thylacines, and they will not give them back.
- Australia is where Chris Hemsworth is from!
- Do not name your thylacine Chris. It infuriates them. There is no known science to explain this. I asked an Australian researcher about it, and he just wouldn’t stop screaming! It was super rude.
Post pictures of your thylacines in this week’s What Are You Playing! You’ll get a special badge if it’s in the process of taking down an emu, a cassowary, or el chupacabra.
Bonus question: Do you pay attention to the many, many game awards events happening around this time of year? (Other than ours, of course.)
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Gonna be hitting Splatoon 3 for Big Run hard this weekend! The exercise games will see some action, I may try the new Mario Kart 8 DLC with friends, and probably some Pokemon Violet for afk-egging (anyone needing Protean Sprigatito should ping me on Twitter), but I’ll probably be focusing on Splatoon 3 the most.
Honestly, I don’t pay attention to most site’s awards in a serious fashion. There’s a reason I’m on this site! The TV ones feels worse. I saw a few clips of “the big one” and it was cringey as heck. I identify as a gamer, but I usually have to add, “Not that kind of gamer” after stuff like that.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’m going to pop into Star Wars Galaxies Legends a bit for some Lifeday bits and bobs and probably some Lord of the Rings Online too, although I expect slightly fewer Wookiees in the latter.
Bonus: Not really! Even when we blog The Game Awards, we are covering it for the announcements, not the votes.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’m back in the bubble of Elite: Dangerous looking to do my part in the Thargoid War. From a purely non-combative standpoint, anyway. I also think I will continue alt job leveling in Final Fantasy XIV, and the reveal of Armored Core VI and Hades II has me wanting to finally beat Daemon X Machina and Hades respectively.
The Game Awards last night was kind of about the only one I paid attention to, and even then it was less about the awards themselves and more about the reveals. So I guess that’s a long-form way to say “no.”
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Stuff to do in World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XIV plus review work means I should be pretty full up over the next few days. So, of course, my actual plan is to tap at my phone while re-watching old YouTube videos I’ve mostly committed to memory. I am not proud of my existence.
When I was younger I really did like the idea of video games having something like the Oscars. Now I’m old enough to realize that the Oscars are also hot garbage and that is not actually a standard to seek out unless you’re like me and would like to have an EGOT at some point. (Well on my way, only four awards left to win!)
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I don’t think I’ll get my feet wet in too many games this weekend. Things are getting fairly hectic for me and trying to juggle it all is leaving me little gaming time. With Wintersday approaching I’ll know I’ll have some fun again soon.
Bonus: Not really. It just seems very self indulgent. (Outside of ours of course!) Honestly because ours is very narrowly focused on a sub genre. Whereas calling something the best game of the year of all the games, that’s insane. It reminds me of the ESPYS, the sports awards show. Like, these are all athletics who either won or didn’t win their respective sports already. Winning your sport was the award. What are we even doing comparing athletes? Makes no sense.
Patron Pierre: I’ve decided to go back to Fallen Earth Classic now that it’s free-to-play. I spent a lot of time in this MMO in the past, and on a whim, I’m exploring the wastelands again. I don’t know if it will last, but I’m enjoying it for now. I’m also back in Destiny 2 with the new Season. And finally, I decided to test LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga. I never played a LEGO game but heard a lot of good things about this one, and it’s on the Gamepass now, so it’s easy to go for a test-play. Lots of gaming in perspective this weekend.
Bonus question: I don’t really pay attention to the game awards. I like to watch the big events like Geoff Keighley’s, but the awards themselves… it’s a matter of opinion, and I think for any game, depending on your taste, you can love it or hate it, so relying to someone else’s opinion is not reliable. As for grading games, I think it has lost significance. I prefer to read well-argued analysis or criticism and to watch people streaming games to make my own opinion and know whether it’s my kind of game or not.
And you MOP readers, what are you up for this weekend? Have a nice weekend. Cheers!