Oh no! It’s Christmas tomorrow, and you forgot to get a gift for someone important! And you also realize this is totally your fault, because holy crap, you had tons of warning on this one. Crap. Now you have to slough yourself to the store and do the walk of shame buying a gift no one will like to avoid looking even worse. Here are some terrible last-minute gift ideas you should be ashamed to consider but it’s not like you have any better ones:
A tie for dad: Yeah, that’s great. Get your dad a tie. He doesn’t work in a place where he needs to wear a tie and you never see him wear a tie, but sure, maybe this cheap tie from Target will convince your dad you care about him. Why can’t he be easier to shop for? All he does is sit and watch the same dang Westerns all day.
A new cooking pan: You don’t know anything about cooking. You don’t know if this is a good pan. You figure people always need pans and crap, this person likes cooking, right? How do you even wrap a pan? You’re buying an expensive pan that might be garbage. That’s what your life is now.
A Blu-Ray box set of Stranger Things: “Excuse me, do you like Popular Thing that you can watch for free in another format? Well, I hope you do and that the bonus features on this thing are worthwhile because I dropped $40 on it!” You really said you were going to plan this out ahead of time and here it is, Christmas Eve, and you blew it. You just totally blew it.
A $50 Amazon gift card: Look, at least this way you look like you’re admitting you screwed up. You did something bad and now you’re owning it. It’s humiliating but it’s where you are now. At least this won’t be something they surreptitiously re-gift to you as an insult.
A What Are You Playing entry so you don’t have to write one this week: Wow, you shouldn’t have. You really shouldn’t have.
Bonus question: Are there any gifts you’re hoping to get specifically this weekend?
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I probably won’t play much until things settle down Sunday, but then I’ll be in Lord of the Rings Online of course. There’s a server-best meat up in Star Wars Galaxies Legends right now too, but I don’t think I have the willpower to go farm it.
I did all our wrapping, including gifts from relatives mailed in, so I know what I’m getting. I spied a new purse, some tea, and a deck of cards that look like sabacc cards from Star Wars. The most “me” gifts ever. Thanks, family!
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’m mostly going to cram my face into my VR headset because I have a hankerin’ for the kind of titles I only get there, like Zenith or Puzzling Places. Also it is brutal enough-looking outside that diving into virtual space will be nice.
The GPU gift I was wishing for ended up not working with my mobo like I had hoped (we are working on that), so honestly whatever else I get as a gift is icing. Merry Christmas, readers!
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I will probably get some video games for the holiday. So I will probably play those video games. This is not complicated! This is kind of the point! Also I will play Bothering The Cat. It’s very immersive.
Honestly, I never really want much at Christmas any more. I like getting presents but a rarely want much of anything specific, which apparently makes me hell to shop for. But it also means that I’m happy no matter what. I get to wake up with my best friend, give her gifts that will make her happy, cuddle my cats, see some family, and sleep in my house. What else could I ask for? If this isn’t nice, what is?
Happy holidays, folks!
Mia DeSanzo (@neschria): The family members coming to visit have already requested we play Cult Following: The One True Game, a card game with a good deal of improv and hilarity, which are two things my family does well. We might also play Poetry for Neanderthals.
I have a ridiculous wishlist on Amazon if anyone wants to buy me books, vacuum cleaners, or robots. I am not going to link it though. That would be tacky.
Best wishes to everyone who reads this! I hope you get everything you need and at least some of what you want in 2023.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I don’t think I’ll be getting any gaming in this weekend. Possibly I can sneak in some time for the Guild Wars 2 Wintersday dailies though.
Bonus: I’m hoping for a copy of the new Descent board game that came out early this year. I do love me a good campaigned game.