And now, a special message from our favorite writer, Brick Moneyshield:
Recently, I have invited a great deal of controversy from my article in which I call for shipping all dogs to a small island in the South Pacific, I claim that pudding was invented by aliens from the part of the moon that’s the equivalent of Texas, and that the greatest games of all time were the Burger King tie-in games released for the Xbox 360. This controversy made me briefly examine my prior assumptions, but since I refuse to accept the possibility that I may be wrong, I have come to the conclusion that the problem is actually you, the reader.
As such, I would like to apologize to those of you who somehow want your dog to stick around, as if your dog wouldn’t be better housed in a gigantic barking pile on a forgotten spec of the ocean miles from any human contact. It’s clear that you are simply biased against Texas and its equivalent state on the moon, and I don’t need to listen to any of you. Now, if you’ll all hush up, I’m going to go engineer some other terrible takes that I refuse to examine in any detail, starting with my assertion that people should go stand in the former Sony Online Entertainment parking lot and cram cupcakes in their noses.
Brick Moneyshield has now been exiled to the phantom realm. What are you playing?
Bonus question: What holiday do you always feel underprepared for?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Obviously I have to hit the exercise games hard now, but I’ll probably do a little Knuckle Sandwich since it’s one of the few games I Kickstarted and got released. Maybe even the last one from what I can recall.
Holiday I’m least prepared for would be basically any non-major holiday in the US. I can remember the big feasting ones, but President’s Day? St. Patty’s? Arbor Day? Even Talk Like a Pirate Day doesn’t hit me until it’s basically here. Oh, except Earth Day, which I only celebrate because Niantic used to encourage people to do things for it but got corporate and stopped giving community incentives, so I kind of spite-celebrate it now.
I’m a chronic over-preparer for holidays; I’ve already bought all my Christmas presents, for example. But I’m never prepared for the emotional toll of birthdays!
Christmas almost always comes at me unawares. I am finding it much harder to account for that holiday, especially from a budgetary standpoint. I need more work.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Game to review, FFXIV, plus I’m gingerly reaching out to World of Warcraft a bit more in anticipation of the next expansion. Of course, that one is a hella long way away, but I can still do a little bit of prep in the interim, you know? It’s just sensible.
As a rule I’m usually well-prepared for the holidays that matter to me, and if I didn’t prepare for it then the holiday didn’t actually matter to me in the first place. This might sound a bit dismissive, but I’ve always been fastidious about birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and so forth. I generally give less than the tiniest damn about any very online holidays, though; I refuse to learn when I’m supposed to talk like a pirate and will continue to refuse doing so.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): This is another light gaming weekend. I’ll thought I’d be playing more SMITE but no. I have played some multiplayer co-op games. The new Mickey Mouse Illusion Island is nice and casual with kiddos.
Bonus: Anniversaries of course are the ones that always sneak up on me. But I think I did a decent job this year.
Tyler Edwards (blog): Proving that any publicity is good publicity, I decided to pick up Redfall on the Steam sale, in part to see if it’s really as bad as everyone says. So far it’s… entirely fine? I’m not going to say it’s game of the year material, but it seems to be a perfectly competent looter shooter. I am struggling to understand why people hate it so much.