Chronicles of Elyria has ways for you to be naughty or nice this Valentine’s Day

    
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Let’s get this out of the way right from the beginning: Yes, Chronicles of Elyria is literally selling players a chainmail bikini.

This is but one of several special Valentine’s Day gifting options that Soulbound Studio is promoting this week. If fans want to express their naughty side, well, there’s the aforementioned bikini and its accompanying whip.

For the more tender and romantic souls, there are necklaces, song birds, and a picnic basket. And if you’re ready to take your relationship to the next step in a virtual game world that hasn’t been released yet, Elyria would like to sell you a “ring of devotion” or a cottage built for two.

This sale will be running through February 19th. Please do not gift Massively OP staffers any bikinis — we’re full up, thanks.

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IronSalamander8 .

This is mostly amusing but makes me even more glad that I gave this game a pass. The ‘deviant’ package elicits more chuckles than groans although the article comment about Massively’s staff being full up on chainmail bikinis was even more amusing than Elyria selling them.

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2Ton Gamer

How about you worry more about creating something of the remnants of what you promised instead of trying to sell more stuff for your vaporware title. Or at the very least, use a sale like this to refund customers who were suckered by your promises.

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Armsbend

harbringer

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Godiva

This doesn’t inspire much confidence.

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Daniel Miller

I did ks the game, just like CU. But I am never a noob to buy a cosmetic item for a game that doesn’t exist. Let alone no pub, and removed the software they pledged to use on ks page.

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Bruno Brito

What.

The.

Hell.

semugh
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semugh

triggered?

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Bruno Brito

By what? The fact a game is selling sexual goods without putting a game out?

Not really. The word you’re looking for is “surprised”.

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Dro Gul

Wait a second. These greedy bastards are selling holiday items and the game isn’t even in Alpha and no players can play the game? Is it like an IOU?

Is that a new low? WTF

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Lethality

Uh, welcome to the world of crowdfunding? Hope you’ve had a nice stay in the cave!

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Fluffy Magical Unicorn

Gross.

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Bryan Turner

Perhaps something more conservative like a sheet with a hole like the Hasids?

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Fluffy Magical Unicorn

Yeah, that’s exactly what I want by saying that I think the game selling chainmail bikinis is gross.

I mean, I’m fine with sexuality and sexiness, but chainmail bikinis in a fantasy context have a loooooong history of sexism attached to them. :P

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MrNastyButler

Though this one includes chainmail briefs for men as well. Glad to see they are aware that both sides might like it.

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Fluffy Magical Unicorn

I’d be worried for the pinching, tbh.

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Bryan Turner

That was a tasteless joke on my part, I’m not apologizing but none the less I wanted you to know it was coming from a good place.

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Bryan Turner

What a sorry excuse for a whip, just go to your local Tack Shop and pick up a crop they run between 10 to 20 dollars and they’re quality made (yeah I’m into it, and no I don’t think I should have to hide like gays that were closeted prior to the 1990s, as long as you don’t get explicit with your talk then it is appropriate ((yet another subject that was modded by the mods in GW2 Forums when I wanted to know why there was no tasteful representation of S&M even though they had numerous Lesbians portrayed, felt very repressed that day)).

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MrNastyButler

Nine tails isn’t terrible. Would recommend the crop for intro though. But to see them suggesting this…I’m more curious at how serious this company is backing this idea. If it was clothes alone, I’d not be impressed but the package includes a whip too and none to subtle about what they are implying. I do give them a thumbs up for it.

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Armsbend

Upvote for a crazy post

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Bryan Turner

I don’t know about you but I remember going through Cold Harbor in ESO having all those Dremora Dark Seducers going on about grabbing their whips and I was thinking seriously what the fuck ZMax did you run out of resources at that point because clearly there were no whips!