Interstate 84: Hey, you! You’re fat. You’re stupid and fat. No one likes you. You smell like reclaimed caulk. Fat. Fat. Fat.
Route 66: Ooh, look at me, a song was named after me! It was a different 66, you arrogant piece of turkey leavings. Everyone just pretends to like you when you’re in the room but they say mean things about you as soon as you leave. You’re going to die alone.
Route 1: You’re not first and you’re not a friend. You’re nothing.
Route 233: Aren’t you special for having three digits! No. That’s not special. Special routes have fewer digits. You also smell bad. Stop being dumb, Route 233. What’s that? You can’t? You’re crying now? Yeah, go ahead and cry. Loser highway.
Interstate 55: 54 and 56 are both doing much better than you ever could and you should be ashamed of yourself. And you’re also fat.
Interstate 19: Garbage highway made for garbage reasons that exists in garbage. You’re a stupid interstate and no one likes you. Go cry in What Are You Playing or something.
Editor’s Note: Route 233 died of scurvy.
Bonus question: What’s a perfectly normal food that you just can’t stand?
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I wanna go hard in Monster Hunter Rise this Saturday. My friend and I just did the first “last boss” and I greedily want to grab its armor for bonus drops. Community Day in Pokemon Go is Sunday, but I won’t be able to play much, so I gotta make bag space for auto-catching, boo!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ve been mucking around in Guild Wars 2, so planning more of that. I also picked up Cozy Grove (not an MMO, though), so if I wind up having extra time, I’ll try that. But most likely, it’s gonna be a pretty weekend, and that means yard work.
Corn. Canned corn, really. Unless it’s roasted just right, corn smells exactly like spoiled milk to me, and I can’t get past it.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): Phase two of the Elite: Dangerous – Odyssey alpha will pretty much be a focus, along with continued multiplaying of Monster Hunter Rise with my husband and perhaps some Dauntless with hubby and our friend. Yes, it’s true, you can totally like both games!
I am spectacularly picky about my boxed mac and cheese. The Kraft stuff is trash while Velveeta is better. Granted, both aren’t exactly top flight pasta dishes, but Kraft mac is sadness in a box.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Aside from my usual Final Fantasy XIV antics right before a patch, my main focus will be a couple of games I need to work on reviewing this weekend. Saturday’s going to be pretty busy, so I think a lot is getting packed into Sunday.
I’m not picky, but olives are repulsive. Olive oil is fine, but actual olives? Bleugh. Nasty.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’ve gotten sucked back into Guild Wars 2 Super Adventure Box. It’s too fun not to participate. I’ve also gotten myself hooked on Rocket League again by accident so I usually play at least a few matches a night. Also there’s a pretty fun Ninja Gaiden clone called Cyber Shadow on Xbox that I’ve been crawling through.
Bonus: I’ll have to copy Tyler here and agree on coconut. It’s just terrible. If my SO wants to have a treat that she knows I won’t swipe or sneak a few bites of, she need only get it in coconut flavor. Bleh.
Bonus question: Coconut. I’m a fairly fussy eater, so there’s a bunch of things I could answer, but I’m not sure anything repulses me on such a visceral level as coconut. How anyone can enjoy it is beyond me.
Pierre, patron: I’m playing Outriders and enjoying it. It’s not a revolutionary game, but it’s a pleasant shooter with a scenario that is better written than I expected for a pure action game. I’m also back in The Elder Scrolls Online and having a great time. It’s a real pleasure to be back and discover its numerous quests and the surprising endings of many of them.
With these two games, there’s little time left to continue my Persona 5 playthrough, but I hope to be able to dedicate some time to P5 this weekend anyway.
Bonus question: coriander, as I’m one of those who can’t stand the taste of coriander. Apparently, it’s some kind of binary choice: either you love coriander or you can’t stand it. For me, coriander tastes like soap, urgh! I also avoid eating cucumbers as my body can’t digest them. Just the smell of a fresh cucumber is enough to put me off. And you MOP readers, what are you up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments.