WRUP: Insulting highways edition

    
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Loser

Interstate 84: Hey, you! You’re fat. You’re stupid and fat. No one likes you. You smell like reclaimed caulk. Fat. Fat. Fat.

Route 66: Ooh, look at me, a song was named after me! It was a different 66, you arrogant piece of turkey leavings. Everyone just pretends to like you when you’re in the room but they say mean things about you as soon as you leave. You’re going to die alone.

Route 1: You’re not first and you’re not a friend. You’re nothing.

Route 233: Aren’t you special for having three digits! No. That’s not special. Special routes have fewer digits. You also smell bad. Stop being dumb, Route 233. What’s that? You can’t? You’re crying now? Yeah, go ahead and cry. Loser highway.

Interstate 55: 54 and 56 are both doing much better than you ever could and you should be ashamed of yourself. And you’re also fat.

Interstate 19: Garbage highway made for garbage reasons that exists in garbage. You’re a stupid interstate and no one likes you. Go cry in What Are You Playing or something.

Editor’s Note: Route 233 died of scurvy.

Bonus question: What’s a perfectly normal food that you just can’t stand?

Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I wanna go hard in Monster Hunter Rise this Saturday. My friend and I just did the first “last boss” and I greedily want to grab its armor for bonus drops. Community Day in Pokemon Go is Sunday, but I won’t be able to play much, so I gotta make bag space for auto-catching, boo!

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ve been mucking around in Guild Wars 2, so planning more of that. I also picked up Cozy Grove (not an MMO, though), so if I wind up having extra time, I’ll try that. But most likely, it’s gonna be a pretty weekend, and that means yard work.

Corn. Canned corn, really. Unless it’s roasted just right, corn smells exactly like spoiled milk to me, and I can’t get past it.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): Phase two of the Elite: Dangerous – Odyssey alpha will pretty much be a focus, along with continued multiplaying of Monster Hunter Rise with my husband and perhaps some Dauntless with hubby and our friend. Yes, it’s true, you can totally like both games!

I am spectacularly picky about my boxed mac and cheese. The Kraft stuff is trash while Velveeta is better. Granted, both aren’t exactly top flight pasta dishes, but Kraft mac is sadness in a box.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Aside from my usual Final Fantasy XIV antics right before a patch, my main focus will be a couple of games I need to work on reviewing this weekend. Saturday’s going to be pretty busy, so I think a lot is getting packed into Sunday.

I’m not picky, but olives are repulsive. Olive oil is fine, but actual olives? Bleugh. Nasty.

Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’ve gotten sucked back into Guild Wars 2 Super Adventure Box. It’s too fun not to participate. I’ve also gotten myself hooked on Rocket League again by accident so I usually play at least a few matches a night. Also there’s a pretty fun Ninja Gaiden clone called Cyber Shadow on Xbox that I’ve been crawling through.

Bonus: I’ll have to copy Tyler here and agree on coconut. It’s just terrible. If my SO wants to have a treat that she knows I won’t swipe or sneak a few bites of, she need only get it in coconut flavor. Bleh.

Tyler Edwards (blog): More Curse of Strahd, more Magic: Legends, more Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla.

Bonus question: Coconut. I’m a fairly fussy eater, so there’s a bunch of things I could answer, but I’m not sure anything repulses me on such a visceral level as coconut. How anyone can enjoy it is beyond me.

Pierre, patron: I’m playing Outriders and enjoying it. It’s not a revolutionary game, but it’s a pleasant shooter with a scenario that is better written than I expected for a pure action game. I’m also back in The Elder Scrolls Online and having a great time. It’s a real pleasure to be back and discover its numerous quests and the surprising endings of many of them.
With these two games, there’s little time left to continue my Persona 5 playthrough, but I hope to be able to dedicate some time to P5 this weekend anyway.

Bonus question: coriander, as I’m one of those who can’t stand the taste of coriander. Apparently, it’s some kind of binary choice: either you love coriander or you can’t stand it. For me, coriander tastes like soap, urgh! I also avoid eating cucumbers as my body can’t digest them. Just the smell of a fresh cucumber is enough to put me off. And you MOP readers, what are you up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
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Estranged

A little Heroes of the Storm tonight.

I only eat meat products.

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Malcolm Swoboda
  • Genshin Impact – Hilarious. With only hours left, I went into the Windblume Festival event, and in a mid-night frenzy I completed all of its story, did a fair bit of its festival minigames, and more or less got everything unique done that I wanted except for the battle/defense challenge that rewards a fully upgraded 4star weapon. Oh well! I did miracles besides that. Soon I’ll try to tackle the smaller events going on.
  • Last Cloudia – More Japan Anniversary event content. It never ends!
  • Cookie Run: Kingdom – Nearly caught up the story except… they added two new story maps! Gah! Probably months or at least a bunch of weeks of grind.
  • Princess Connect Re:Dive – Basically competed the current event, and catching up on Hard mode map stages.
  • Another Eden – Wheww a whole lot. All on my Steam account. Streaming story content on Facebook, I’m now up to Chapter 11 in the main story (of 26 for the original arc, but like 74 for everything), which unlocks a bunch of things, key-consuming dungeons in particular. I was entirely completionist til then, even doing any Kill 100 X achievements I could in the meanwhile. Saved all gacha currency Chronos Stones until then, and I did 20x pulls for the first unlocked Episode-tied character banner and.. got Nagi, the headliner! The select characters get bonus points when winning battles, so this advances story stages faster and goes through a long reward list with less tedium. So I can feel comfortable doing the episode anytime now, but I’m also okay with getting the couple, more common rarity, missing characters first. I also kind of hate the episode because it introduces the months and months long minigame, fishing. I’m actually not sure any person has 100%ed it (as in getting all unique fish x caught achievements). Anyway I talked about this stuff long ago in WRUP :P.
  • Distancing Hangouts – Continued a Discord stream of The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante. We managed to finish the first chapter of four or five, representing the protagonist’s childhood, so we’re onto adolescences and have already died once. Not to worry, apparently its a thing that happens in this world, even when done by our grandfathers. Toxic.
  • FFXV Pocket Edition – Reached Chapter 5 of 10.
  • Tales of Crestoria – I won’t count this as just logins, since I didn’t just complete event story (this one was sweet, and introduced me to Sakura Mochi), but I advanced a chunk of main story. Its just my little short story generator, really.
  • Dragon Quest The Adventure of Dai: A Hero’s Bonds – God help me, I picked up another gacha. I’m not supposed to say it? But whatever, I’m in closed whatever for this game and getting a head start. Its Dragon Quest, but ups the Dragon Ball quality a ton. Gonna see how the coop goes when I finally unlock it, which will be slow since I’m saving up the gacha and theirs is equipment based aka a lot of lost power.

Partner’s play of FFXII has him finished Archades and onto the southern jungle again. As always, Ring Fit in the morning. We played a little bit of D:OS, but I screwed up, got town guards on me, and made a whole mess of my death, so we reloaded and ended up not doing a lot except some murder investivation.

JP AE had a big day of announcements recently, which a ton of things I’m looking forward to.
The big things for me: The last 5star upgrade for a main character (the literal cover girl) will finally happen, as well as some others I wanted. Cool spear lookin guy. STORY SCENE REPLAY. The conclusion to the main story Goddess of Time arc that began back in 2018 (They may still add to it, but it should be of more epilogue nature, and filling out of content as always.) The original main characters are getting innate buffs, adding a layer of complexity to their moves that’s more befitting the current nature of the game. In the longer run, there will be a new story content type that will be shorter stories involving local (playable character) residents of regions, and a longer Mythos (a major but secondary storyline with chapters released over time) release involving Future era characters, and a followup Episode to the Nagi episode I mentioned earlier (Ocean Palace). Lots more characters are getting 5star upgrades which by now (and really since 2018-19) has meant they’re practically usable for serious players. I held back on posts about this for a while but its been an exciting week :). Global version in the meanwhile is largely just continuing the first Mythos.

Happy 4th Anniversary (2nd Global)

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Ashfyn Ninegold

I’ve been playing around a lot with turtling (using Stone of the Tortoise, which disables leveling) in LOTRO. I’m finding it a more satisfying way to play the game. I’ve come to really appreciate the Shadows of Angmar content, rather than just rushing through it to get to the “real” stuff.

I did rush half a dozen alts into their 70s in order to get their war steeds way back when and they just missed a ton of content, which I’m going back and picking up bit by bit.

Bonus: I don’t like curry, which is a big sad for my mate. I don’t care for lamb, either. Which is a double whammy for lamb curry night.

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MurderHobo

More Valheim. We farmed a bunch of silver. Killed the swamp boss. Fussed over and compared builds.

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Godnaz

Same, Valheim. Still on the 3rd fresh start server and Moder is this week. This time though everything hits much harder, is much bigger and higher stars on average. Each boss is a challenge this time around. Even when properly geared and fully food, it’s rough, but fun! If you ever wanna fresh start, let me know, I’m chill. Might even have a lady friend who’d like to join.

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Damon Anderson
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Damon Anderson

I got internet hooked up this week after not having it (except on the phone) since I guess about January of 2020, HAZZAAH! (I was in a guild way back in UO and that was supposed to be our cheer or battle cry, I felt weird about it and never said/typed it, except once when the GM wanted to take a screenshot and I succumbed to peer pressure, but I do so now without shame ;P because I have progressed and matured)

So I have an Xbox One and signed up for Game Pass, ESO is free on it, installed it, bought Greymoor, and Morrowind is free on Game Pass also but there seems to be a glitch, not sure what the fix is yet but long story short, I wasn’t able to create a Warden which was my first choice for class, so I am playing a Nightblade, I enjoy the class alot so far, maybe a Warden alt in the future. I have so far learned some of the basics, still very much a noob, and am having alot of fun with it, it’s always a learning process starting a new MMO, especially so this time for me on console. So I am level 14 and going to do exploring and adventuring today, and just have a good time and see what happens, I really liked that about Elder Scrolls games I played in the past and other open world type MMO’s, so that’s my gaming weekend, possibly try MHW multiplayer also. And tinkering with Xbox One and what I can do with it for other fun or educational things online.

Bonus question: Peas also, the canned, fresh I like.

I could go with Interstate Love Song, but I like this better…

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Sorenthaz

Not really sure what this weekend is going to be gaming-wise. Batman: Arkham Knight and Binding of Isaac: Repentance have sort of been my main choices, but also may progress further in Outriders. There’s other games I might mess with too, dunno really. Also might dust off my FFXIV character to get ready for Patch 5.5 on Tuesday.

Bonus question: Pickles. Don’t know why, but I cannot stand their texture, and the taste isn’t very appealing either.

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Hirku Two

So I originally installed Starbound as a backup game and instead I’ve been playing it almost nonstop for two weeks. Yeah, that worked out well.

At the end of week 1 I thought I had things how I wanted them but soon realized I had made some bad mod and gameplay choices. After a bunch of wiki research and planning I went back to my tutorial save and did it all again. Second time was the charm, and after some money grinding this weekend I’ll have a fully-crewed and self-sufficient ship ready to go.

I’m continuing to enjoy my evenings in The Secret World. I finished up Savage Coast and moved on to Blue Mountain where I’m currently hanging out with the sasquatch.

This week’s trucking was in ATS, but I also completed a mod map project in ETS 2 that greatly increased the world space. The mod folder is now more than double the size of the base game installation, heh.

Bonus: Broccoli and cauliflower and celery all suck. No amount of cheese can fix any of them.

Have a nice weekend!

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Danny Smith

80 Hours into Monster Hunter Rise and i’m still having a great time, more surprising this is the first time even the people i know who only touched world or a bit of 4U are still super hard into the game. I haven’t seen this many friends online on the switch since the peak of Animal Crossing last year.

It definitely opens up more as you progress but its a bit odd. Theres 6 tiers of solo quests, with the story ending at 4, and then the multiplayer now scales down to solo player level and then after hitting tier 5 there the story continues from there along with opening up most of the systems. So the solo quests feel even more tutorial than usual and are very easy. I’m at rank 6 of multiplayer, without looking up i think it ends at 7 or 8 right now, and i’ve only carted once and failed no hunt out of nearly 300. So yeah wirebugs make the game pretty easy. It feels like styles in GU, the teams last game, made returning monsters from early games a total joke.

Overall i still think its the easiest entry in the series and probably the easiest to get into for beginners but the endgame feels like covid had some behind the scenes effect and its launched with the rest of the endgame being patched in later. Which i guess with this months large content update is what we will get then but i’m in no rush. Its been a long time since i’ve been this into a game just playing it and thinking “god i love this gameplay” with progression on the back burner in favour of more weapons and stuff just to play with them.

Also i tried Torchlight 3 on the switch and christ what an absolute disaster that is. To save a lore more page space i’ll just say its bad. Anthem bad.

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Bryan Correll

I would be playing PoE to knock a few more challenges for the Ritual League, but the game has been practically unplayable for me since the last ‘performance improving’ patch.

Bonus: Where should I start? Let’s go with beans. Pretty much all legumes other than peanuts and soy. Limas are probably the absolute worst.
Broccoli and Asparagus? Hell, I’m not sure how those taste cause they smell so bad there’s no way I’m putting either in my mouth.
I will gladly take all of Eliot’s olives, though. I freakin’ love olives.

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Utakata

This week: Oh, it’s the weekend again…

Also this week: I’ve just realized I have a number of toons I’ve been working on turned lv 60 in WoW Retail. It’s like watching popcorn cook really… O.o

Plus a Meta: You have some sort of cr’applet running in the background of this site that’s creating weird lag between the time I type something and the time it actually gets typed out in the comment section, Ms. Bree. It’s most disconcerting. >.<

Bonus Answer: Pickles and raw onions. They make me ill. :(

Have a great week and weekend folks. Please get vaccinated and stay safe! /bows

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Bryan Correll

I’ve noticed the typing lag thing, too.

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Pandalulz

Yup, is it happening on other browsers for anybody else as it seems to only happen on Firefox for me, Edge seems fine? Been happening for several weeks but not every time for some reason.