All right, if you saw the original version of this week’s What Are You Playing, we’re very sorry about that. We were very excited about our new writer W. Aredd, so we wanted to let him take over for writing this as an introduction. Unfortunately, what he wrote was… well, hopefully you didn’t see it, but suffice to say he will not be joining our staff after all. Furthermore, we have to clarify several of our official site positions right now:
- We do not in any situation condone using bees, rabbits, or skunks as ammunition, and we certainly do not and have not funded research in devices designed to fire them specifically.
- The site’s position is most certainly that you do not “have to hand it” to Blizzard for naming a character in Overwatch after a serial harasser.
- At this time we have no official policy on driving etiquette for Massively Overpowered, but were we to develop one, it would not include anything about driving through glass storefronts and it would definitely not include spraypainting “I BUY WALLHACKS” on any part of your car.
- Our senior writers are not and have never been barred from entering Nevada, nor have any of us pantsed a former governor of any state.
- If you are a dog person, I will think you have bad taste, but I will not infect your computer with a virus. I also will not delivery four hundred t-shirts with images of Clifford the Big Red Dog photoshopped into Pablo Picasso’s Guernica with an arrow pointing at him and a caption that reads “WAR CRIMINAL.”
- There is not a “secret subscription Massively Overpowered,” and even if there were, it would not contain any discussion of ham.
Again, we’re sorry. We’d say this will never happen again, but you know how much I love hiring other people to do this column.
Bonus question: What’s the oldest thing you can think about that still makes you a little bit upset, regardless of how relevant it is now? (Like your parents telling you that you couldn’t have a toy two decades ago.)
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Super excited about Splatfest weekend in Splatoon 3. The lead-up has been pretty fun with all the conchs and the non-real-cash-based gachas (which are actually fun loot surprises, not the “unfairly maligned” gambleboxes a certain spokesman tried to push them as).
There are so many, but a highly relevant one is that I wanted to learn Chinese. In first grade. We had Japanese family friends and my dumb 6-year-old-self figured the language names sounded similar so they were probably similar languages, right? Well, I at least would have had earlier experience with the characters and a tonal language, and knowing Chinese would have been far more helpful than “learning” how to clean bathrooms with no health or safety gear, just bleach, an old shirt, and an open window. Plus, one of my those Japanese family friends did end up taking Mandarin, so I would have not only had a useful skill, but sort of achieved part of my goal. So many stories like ugh!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ve been playing Star Wars Galaxies Legends this week, and I’ll probably do more of it this weekend. I had a lot of food crafting to do, and there’s a good meat up, so I’ll be harvesting that. I’m also going to finally get my pet torton (her name is Sundae) to 90. If you see my toons out in the wilds of Rori, say hello!
My parents forbade me to go to a certain dance with a certain person in high school and I’m still justifiably salty about it.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): In-between my usual activities in Final Fantasy XIV, I’m probably going to do a bit more digging into Mist Legacy (what can I say, I dig on its TTRPG deal) and go back to some stalwart comfort games such as Euro Truck Simulator 2 or Farming Simulator 22. I’m kind of in that mood for something more chill.
This is probably going to enter into personal territory, but I recall that I was planning on attending a series of classes being held by someone at my school about comic art and comics writing. I went to one class and was derided by my father the entire way home about it when he picked me up. I never went back.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): A bit of FFXIV as I eagerly await patch 6.25 and maybe some sorting out of crafting gear that I need to handle before then. Aside from that, I think I’ll be diving into some neglected single-player titles. I say that every weekend, don’t I?
Instead of talking about a serious or unpleasant thing that I’m still angry about to this day, I’m going to go with something funny: My grade school growing up had an event called “Fun Day” when the faculty would turn the entire school into a playground. There was a big cardboard-box maze you had to crawl through, there were all sorts of fun games, there were prizes, it was awesome. The first year I was there, my mom didn’t want to go and so I missed it. She still didn’t want to go next year, so my dad insisted on taking me. It was awesome and I’m still annoyed I missed a year.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’m playing MultiVersus nearly every night still. I just can’t get enough of the stress and anxiety of winning a tight match. I also hopped into the Gundam Evolution beta that started last week. It’s pretty fun. Much more my speed than Valorant.
Bonus: I still get very upset about my 4th grade teacher’s aide telling me I’m just not as smart as another boy in my class. To be fair, he was kinda of a super star in everything he did so she probably wasn’t wrong, but that stuff still pisses me off to think about. I hate you Mrs. M.