Sports! A surprising number of people who were shoved into lockers in high school like them anyway. They can be confusing, though, so here’s a quick guide to all of the sports. In America, the big ones are Muscular Men with Hats, Tall Men on Wood Floors, Helmet Men Hugging and Shouting, and Cold People Fighting with Sticks. Around the rest of the world, it’s also important to know about Running Men with Kicky Checkered Ball, and some places also like The Insect Game or Tiny Ball on a Too Big Lawn.
There are also people who want video games to be a sport, usually Warcraft III Mod With More Cheesecake or Warcraft III Mod With Other People’s Religions or Pixar’s Team Fortress 2. These people like to pretend that these are totally different from the sports they don’t like, usually Helmet Men Hugging and Shouting. It’s still all sports, though, so they’re the same thing.
All sports have the same basic structure. Everyone goes into the Sport Place, and then Excited Man and Laughing Man watch and tell people who are watching the sport game what is happening in the sport game. So, for example, one man will hit the ball in Muscular Men with Hats, and then Excited Man will shout that he hit the ball while Laughing Man agrees. Tell us about your favorite sports in the comments of this week’s What Are You Playing! Also what you’re playing this weekend.
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I’ll probably do some Hearthstone on top of my usual Pokémon Go regiment. It’s probably counter-intuitive to my local scene’s metagame, but I want to evolve a bunch of Espeon and Umbreon, since I noticed a gap in my psychic attackers department and have found Umbreon a solid dark type (and the most awesome).
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): Cleaning. I’m going to turn it into an MMO. The more I clean, the more my faction standing with next weekend’s guests increases! Nah, really I’ll probably be playing some Guild Wars 2 again, farming the Super Adventure Box a bit!
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I’m slowly working through my second playthrough of Mass Effect: Andromeda between preparing for the next Final Fantasy XIV expansion and working on Black Desert. Also, I think the nearest Toys’R’Us has the Chaos on Velocitron box set? I need my Nautica.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): I’m working doggedly to get my Legionfall reputation up in World of Warcraft to get flying once more, but this will depend on the invasion schedule. I have loads to do in Lord of the Rings Online’s new Wastes zone, and in the absence of The Secret World for the time being, I’m mulling over dipping into another MMO for some flavor. No idea what, however.
Your turn!
