Samsung Cancer Cancer mark 5: Has built-in Bluetooth capabilities in both claws. Voice assistant has been renamed “Crablinda” and will advise you to turn left at every possible opportunity but is otherwise a pretty good utility. Antenna made out of shrimp carcasses. Uses a standard charging cable. $799.
Apple iCrab 4: Uses a new form of mobile connection technology that it calls “AppleCrab” and is only applicable for other iCrabs. Voice assistant is just Siri with a crab accent. Has only one button which is labeled “C” for crab. Recharges with solar panels. Watches you sleep. $4000.
Tencent Gandalfus Puia: Blind. Lives in undersea vents. Eats detritus. Has a small hat. $50 on AliExpress.
Microsoft xXx_crabbarc_xXx: Requires your blood to charge. Harvests your young. Crab voice calls can only be inquiring about the status of someone’s Xbox account. Sets fires in your toilet. $300 and people have already “crab-shelled” a new version that has a voice assistant who sounds just like Rhianna and it can summon umbrellas.
Amazon Kindle Crab: Reads you What Are You Playing while you sleep. Uses a standard charging cable. Shoots fireballs and can double-jump. $899 and disables all Steam achievements when you use it.
Bonus question: How do you like your eggs?
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): So busy with games this weekend! Tons of Pokemon Go stuff (do Community Day on Sunday if you need Primal Groudon counters!), plus Splatfest as the least represented team.
Oh god, don’t make me choose my favorite child! If I have to choose, I’ll admit that I like soft-boiled eggs, especially prepped for ramen. It’s one of the things I picked up in Japan which ruined ramen for me, since a lot of places can’t get them the way Bree described them below.
Andy McAdams: Baldur’s Gate 3 is consuming me, a willing victim. I played hundreds of hours in Baldur’s Gate 2 and loved every minute of it. BG3 is the rare game that has exceeded what I expected of it, which is an absolutely wonderful change of events. Other than that, maybe trying to get my ten logins on The Elder Scrolls Online to get the fox-y mount because I love focuses but probably not much else.
Bonus Question: Soft-boiled or poached. Poached mainly because eggs benedict and its many variations are my favorite breakfast.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’m actually hoping to head into Lord of the Rings Online this weekend if I can’t get Palia functional. I’ve kinda been missing it.
Eggs are one of my favorite foods, and there’s almost no way I won’t eat ’em. Poached is probably my favorite, but getting them in that perfect not-too-runny-but-not-chalky gelatinous-but-not-hazardous zone is tricky.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’ve decided to level a Samurai in Final Fantasy XIV for no other reason than “just because,” so there will primarily be some of that. I was also gifted Baldur’s Gate 3 so I’ll probably continue playing that with my family in our multiplayer party. Finally, I’m going to try to maybe get a little further in to Dungeons & Dragons Online, but we’ll see how much time I can allot for that one.
My favorite way to make eggs is over easy. It’s the perfect combination of well-cooked but still with a runny yolk, and cutting into that tasty package to have it run over the home fries or toast or a burger is just the best.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Some stuff in FFXIV as per usual, and also I have a couple games to play in testing this weekend. I’ve been really tired lately, so I need to catch up on some sleep, and also feeling very stiff. Maybe I should do some stretching.
Honestly, I go back and forth between over-easy eggs and just scrambled. Those are my favorite variants when I’m cooking at home.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’ll be continuing my time in Harry Potter Magic Awakened. I’m still having a lot of fun and the constant events keep me logging in to complete them. The first season ends next week so I am going to try to finish up the remaining seasonal achievements I have. There is one to make it into the diamond League in dueling which I thought was impossible. However I just got to platinum so I think there’s a chance I can actually pull it off!
Bonus: I liked my eggs like I like my dailies – over and easy.
Tyler Edwards (blog): I’ll be continuing to play the new stuff in Overwatch 2. Maybe put some time into my oft-sidelined Dragon Age: Inquisition replay.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
