WRUP: How to marry a pumpkin edition


Step 1: Have a pumpkin.

Step 2: You want to marry that pumpkin? You think you’re ready for that kind of commitment?

Step 3: No, don’t you go on to step three, I’m not done with you back on step two, jerk!

Step 2 Still I Guess: Marrying a pumpkin is going to take a lot of time and energy. For one thing, have you thought about how you’re going to have kids? That’s right. You need to think about that. You’re going to need to french kiss a pumpkin. And with tongue, too. You’re going to need to really go to town on that pumpkin. Do you think you’re ready to really make out with that pumpkin? Do you think you have what it takes to make that pumpkin feel like the only gourd that matters to you in this world?

Step 4: Don’t you walk away from me!

All Right This Is Still Step 2: Look, I’m just saying maybe you’ve been paying too much attention to What Are You Playing and pumpkins and haven’t noticed that step two has been here for you all along.

Step Pumpkin: Get divorced.

Bonus question: How easy do you find it to make new friends?

Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Assuming my second vaccination doesn’t mess things up, some Pokemon Go so I don’t turn into a vegetable, New Pokemon Snap because it’s amazing, and Monster Hunter Rise to complete a few things… and stock up on melding supplies.

Oh god, making actual new friends is super hard for me. When that comes up IRL, people sound so surprised since I tend to participate or even start the social stuff (meet-ups, work events, etc), but it’s true.

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): Same for me – I’ll be in City of Heroes with my kids, and then I’ll be in Star Wars Galaxies Legends trying to see what I can actually do with the Bespin stuff. Now that it’s here, I find myself being more hyped about the place than the content. It makes no sense.

Not easy at all, but more my fault than theirs. Much harder than keeping old ones!

Carlo Lacsina (@UltraMudkipEX, YouTube, Twitch): Elyon Online closed beta test! Like many other players, I’ve been looking forward to this gem since 2018 and I’m so ready to play it. However, unlike some of the players, I also recognize that this is a closed beta test and not to be treated like a final product.

I don’t struggle making friends. I’m a pretty approachable guy in real life and I can chop it up with almost anyone. The hard part is keeping the ladies at bay. It’s the hardest part of being so incredibly handsome. It doesn’t help when my limitless well of charm and humor just just increases the range. It’s so hard to be me. And don’t even get me started on stud finders. They just full on can’t find any other stud when I hold one.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’ve finally gotten the urge to log back in to Final Fantasy XIV recently, approaching RP wallflowers and having fun goofing around with them, so I may do that again. I also am considering joining in the community goal of Elite Dangerous a bit as well, but chiefly I want to fire up Hardspace: Shipbreaker, as it’s gotten a big new update and I’m definitely in the mood to cut up spaceships.

In meatspace, I tend to not be someone that makes friends easily, but online I am generally more personable and tend to befriend most anyone. I don’t know what that says about me, honestly.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I… honestly can’t talk about what I’ll be playing mostly this weekend. Sorry! It is a secret.

I’m good at establishing casual rapport with people, but stating up actual friendships is another story. Basically, people who meet me think that I’m very personable and likable, but I have a very hard time overcoming my awkward nature, so it tends to be difficult for me to form what I would consider robust friendships.

Sam Kash (@thesamkash): This weekend will find me slogging through Apex Legends. I never felt the need to play it but Carlo brought it up and apparently I hate my free time. I’m also still marching through Narita Boy. I might be able halfway done judging by the memories I’ve unlocked.

Yeah, I don’t tend to make a ton of friends. It’s hard and I don’t really like other people all that much.

Pierre, patron: My gaming weekend will probably involve some The Elder Scrolls Online. I’m still enjoying it. No in-game story this week, but I’m in the middle of another very interesting and well-written quest at the moment. I’m thinking about playing a solo game. I have a few games I never completely finished and I’d like to. Horizon: Zero Dawn and Days Gone are the best candidates for the moment by I’m still hesitating as both are great games.

Bonus question: I have great social skills probably as it’s always been very easy for me to make new friends, even people I don’t have a lot in common to begin with. So the answer will be “very easily.” And you MOP readers, what are you up to this weekend? Making new friends in a MMO maybe? Let us know in the comments.

Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!

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Preparing for ESO’s Blackwood expansion has me catching up from the Dragonhold release. While I’m still a daily GW2 logger, Valheim body recovery squad still keeps me engaged. Spoilers: Greymoor’s Western Skyrim has an entire zone sized area underground and this is just one section of a big area.

Malcolm Swoboda
  • Last Cloudia – ‘Beat’ the final boss of ‘Season 1’! … By ‘beat’, I mean there’s an event where you can do infinite continues if you lose on story stages. Fine with that! Now a lot of side activities have opened up, but I will focus on the older ones and sidequests I ignored. Finished the grinding for the latest story event and doing casual grinding of the second stage of the anniversary event, but since it is so multiplayer focused rewards, I won’t care too much since I’m not allowed that mode on my OS version/phone. Now that I’ve ‘beat’ Last Cloudia (in a sense…) I feel I can be a lot more loose with whatever I do about it. Its not so fascinating a JRPG story and gameplay that I must do everything asap. You can have all the 10 min cutscenes you want (cheaply done but impressive for mobile!), it doesn’t matter much when things are so relatively generic. Nice soundtrack though, and I feel very sunken cost (time) into it by now.
  • Cookie Run: Kingdom – Still playing, a little more casually since I can’t fit in 3 sessions a day with work going on (2 still works out most days).
  • Princess Connect Re:Dive – Nearly done the story and grind for the current story event with a vampire (note: the design is so creepy pervy I am legitimately embarrassed I say I play this game). And starting to get more 5star units upgraded.
  • Another Eden – Steam account advanced the main story more, and I successfully upgraded all current main story units to 4star. Going to try the first episode sidestory content this weekend and focus some grind there. Again, I’m going to use this account until I catch up on all previously done story, then I’ll see where I’ll play my proper main account. Having a good time though I’m trying not to emotionally invest myself too much, knowing I have a much better account waiting for me later, and the JP version added a story scene replace function anyway.
  • Distancing Hangouts – A session of The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante with friends over Discord! The story is so, so interesting, despite its occasional typos. We’re done Chapter of 5, with Douglas Brante now finally an adult heading into this weird, cynical, kinda Dragon Agey at times, world. So far, we’re setting up a roleplay path befitting our mixed natured family of the nobility and paupers.
  • FFXV Pocket Edition –Completed another chapter and I think caught up to my last attempt to beat this game. A few more chapters left so maybe I’ll be done by June….? I hope so, since my phone’s storage has trouble with it. Then again, I aim to get a new phone (2021 model vs 2018) this summer anyway.
  • Logins – Tales of Crestoria, Genshin Impact (ended up without time to pursue)

Partner’s play of FFXII has him doing more side content, beating Gilgamesh and whatnot.

Otherwise finished a bunch of TV shows lately. Attack on Titan Season 4.0, Falcon and Winter Soldier, heading towards end of The Good Place’s run.

Toy Clown

I’m not working as much now, so got back into gaming again. You know, with a vengence. xD

FFXIV: I learned how to make gil with leves! It was a massive game-changer. Part of what I’ve disliked about the game is how hard it’s been to make gil. I don’t like doing roulettes, doing only what’s required, and I couldn’t figure out how to make gil using the market board without sitting in front of it and fighting undercutters and supposedly(?) bots. Yesterday I bought a 10 million gil hairstyle and I felt free from the burdens of having no gil for the first time since I started playing the game! (I have 320 days in.) My next gil goals involve getting all the glamours and housing items I could never afford before. Giggity moments.

Fallout 76: I’ve been attracted to this game for a while, but there were so many bad things said about it that I stayed away. Last week I bought the game for something different to do and fell in love with it. It scratches that itch I’ve been ankering to scratch for a while! I’m only level 26, but found a beautiful spot to build my camp over a small lake so it’s floating. There are good bots roaming the area that keep it clean of mobs, which means I don’t have to put up security or fencing (at least so far!). It’s a nice little 2-story and I’m ridiculously in my element creating around the camp. I’ve also figured out how to keep my character well-fed, how to get stuff for repairs… you know, all the basics! I don’t have a sub and I’m surprised that I can earn a lot of the cash shop credits. I’m thinking of buying a cash register and a pickup truck planter bed. (Yee-haw!) The only downfall is I can’t figure out how to communicate with people, so I just run away or log out when I see them coming at me.

Bonus question: How easily do you find it to make new friends? Not easy at all. I’ve become too particular in my older age and don’t want to deal with a lot of human elements anymore. In the 22 or so years I’ve been online, I’ve kept in contact with two friends and to this day we have our own discord where we shoot stuff at each other near-daily. I do meet and interact with others, I just find it difficult to swim through the elements I don’t like to get to the elements I do. A lot of that is a “me” thing since so few relationships I develop online last more than a few weeks to a few months. The transient nature of the internet is aggravating to deal with, so I don’t want to put forth the effort anymore.

Harry Koala
Harry Koala

Temporarily slipped off MMOs to play more civ 6 for a while.

Youngest daughter has just discovered “My Little Pony”, so possibly Legends of Equestria might be in my future.

Sounding out my other half to see whether she might be lured back to WoW for the TBC launch.


Here’s the thing. Sure, that Pumpkin might be gourdgeous, but you never just marry the first one you manage to carve out into a relationship. You gotta survey the field! See what’s been sown. Look at the melons over there, take a gander at those apples, get plucky with those pears. It’s a veritable farmer’s market, and you–my friend–have a cornucopia of choices to select from.

But… yeah, don’t marry any of them. It’s all fruitless, they’ll rotten on you fast. That’s why you marry Vegetables! Celebrate Celery, folks! They’re… celerybate…

… That pun hurt me too. Convenient, because NeiR: Replicant has been treating my heart like a punching bag as well. Nearing the end of Route A so I’ve seen a lot of the new content added in, and I gotta just say… It is great. And the farming/fruit talk here works because… Yeah, all I’ve been doing pretty much since release. Literally spent 2 weeks (almost since its release) cultivating flowers, and that last week of it? Nothing but trying to get Pink Flowers. Would have been 3 weeks give or take, but I finally caved and cheesed growing them by doing a weeks worth of it in like… a few minutes until I got the results I needed. And hey! Lunar Tear on my first attempt after that as I checked on them right now. Good signs…
Other than that, I’ve been using FF14 and Genshin to help break up the… two day real life growth and seed period for those dang flowers, and will be still. And I broke and nabbed Resident Evil Village too…

Which, yeah. It’s literally just Slightly-Serious Resident Evil 4. Which is not a knock against it or a bad thing, honestly! Though, inventory space is a little ‘too’ generous so it never feels like you’re making choices. And without the fun ‘prompts’ to kick things around in combat, it’s just… faster, somewhat more aggressive Las Plagas villagers with a dash of Molded AI, for the most part. And… MC is still kind of just… bland. Villains are the stand-outs, unsurprisingly. But its still fun!

Turing fail
Patreon Donor
Turing fail

Went out to dinner for the first time in over a year last night. We all had our 2nd vaccinations two weeks ago and thought it’d be safe enough. Turns out my friend who suggested going out is giving Warframe another chance, so we’re going to play together if the invite function will actually work.

Marrying a pumpkin won’t end well when you invariably carve them up in October. The spouse is always the prime suspect.

Bonus: My circumstances aren’t conducive to making new friends, so I’m lucky I still have some really good old ones.

Hikari Kenzaki

Elyon. Had quite a bit of fun with it last night.
SWTOR. We started over on a new server a month or two ago and it’s been fun.

Lethia Myune

The amount of time i’m putting into LOTRO is absolutely shocking lol. I don’t know how the game managed to grab me so suddenly and dramatically after 3 months of up and down and 14 years of ignoring it… but here we are. I’m so busy doing EVERYTHING i barely have time for single players. I installed Metro Exodus Enhanced Edition to enjoy the sweet Ray Tracing in Extreme mode aaaaand sorry PC we’re back at 5% graphics card usage in LOTRO because i just can’t stay away. All this combined with some sweet Blind Guardian on the background mostly when not doing story missions but crafting and gathering all the mines in Moria lmao.

I don’t really make friends anymore…i used to have a long long looong list of phone numbers and now it’s just family and…distant family heh. You do get used to it. Sadly it started getting into my gaming friendships too and i barely socialize anymore :( that’s sadder lol.


Sadder…but certainly not alone in that.


This week: How easy it is to become a bumpkin edition. >.<

Also this week: Getting into Mechagnomes for some odd reason. o.O

Bonus answer: I'm a socially bumbling twin tailed aging dweeb that makes very little in the way of friends. Friends, in this case, are defined by anyone who bothers to return my call after initial contact that's not a professional or sales rep…and I don't get many of those at all. /sigh

One a better note…

…have a great week and weekend folks! Please safe and vaccinated! /bows


PS: Since he /upvoted this…I want to give a shout out to Mr. Wolfyeyes, for least returning my calls on the occasion in the past. It was appreciated. /bows

Kickstarter Donor

I cannot help but chuckle, I read the article title “How to Marry a Pumpkin edition” and instantly thought that’s an Elliot piece lol

To answer the question though if I am trying to, I find it very easy to make friends. But friends in itself is a fairly broad term because there are friends and there are friends. To make meaningful friends, friends that last, friends that I am more than just friendly with in the way that true friends are that takes time, is easier with shared interests and outlooks and those require effort to find.