Yes, it’s time for a hard pivot to cover the amazing Glassware Stair Ax, the MMO with something for everyone! Not something anyone involved will want. Here is what we have for every player type we could think of:
- Roleplayers: A piece of moldy bread we found in the garbage.
- Crafters: A piece of moldier bread we found underneath the first piece of moldy bread.
- Progression fans: Digital signs saying that you’re a big boy now.
- Progression not-fans who expect they’ll have to raid anyway: A piece of breaded mold.
- PvP fans: Raids, but you have to make a show of pain to get inside.
- Casuals: An unsubscribe button.
- Mobile gamers: Esports.
- Gatherers: The work print of Apocalypse Now played at 1/4 speed.
- Gankers: Justice for your crimes.
- Erotic roleplayers: Hardcore dungeons. The monster kind. Not the kinky kind.
- Hardcore dungeon fans: Hardcore dungeons. The kinky kind. Not the monster kind.
- Couldn’t you just swap which one you go to?: No.
- Gundam fans: No robots.
- Gundam haters: All the robots.
- People ambivalent about Gundam: Wintergreen chewing gum.
- Magazine subscribers: No articles.
- What Are You Playing fans: Breaded mold that itself has gotten moldy again.
Bonus question: When do you like to do your grocery shopping?
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I’ll be doing some Pokemon Go and Pokemon Unite, plus probably give that Witcher AR game a spin because they’re not Activision-Blizzzard. And I need sunlight after GDC. Also, a nap or five.
Ugh, Eliot making me give up my grocery shopping secrets! Fine!
- When your schedule is flexible, do it during midday restocking, especially on delivery day. Not sure if every supermarket does this or if it started during COVID, but once I found out about it, I could avoid the crowds and get high-demand items. Mm, simple ingredient garlic spread.
- At the end of a work day, on my way home, but before closing. It worked better in Japan, but especially with bakeries, that’s when you can get some major deals.
Now, stay away from my discount croissants, Eliot.
Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): I just finished the agent career missions in EVE Online, and I’m told the next step in my slow advancement is to start the Sisters of EVE content, so I’m going to try that. Hopefully without too many ship sacrifices.
I like it when my wife goes grocery shopping, but considering she’s not a fan either, we usually end up going together to ensure mutual misery. The real answer to the question is “at the last possible second.”
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): For sure I’ll be in Albion Online. Beyond that, I’m not sure. I think I’ve already seen enough of the New World beta to buy it. I guess I gotta check in on Star Wars Galaxies Legends stuff too. Maybe I’ll cave and buy The Sims 4 Cottage Living expansion that just launched. After this week, I could use something cozy.
The pandemic completely changed how we get groceries. Right now, I put in my orders and pick stuff up on Fridays or sometimes Saturdays. It saves time and is much safer, and it saves money too because I can’t be ensnared by “ooooh what’s that, let’s get some,” but it’s also not as fun.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I might dip a little more into the New World beta, and I’d like to better learn how to chase crafting materials and continue to build up my holdings in Star Wars Galaxies Legends. Also, some more shenanigans in Final Fantasy XIV.
I don’t really have a grocery day necessarily, but sometimes I do tend to do larger shops on my days off from job two, so on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. Most of the time I get stock as needed or ingredients as wanted.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): It’s Review Weekend for me, playing games I can’t talk about right now but I promise will be cool, at least. Maybe a touch of FFXIV in there. Definitely nothing from Activision-Blizzard.
During summer break, my wife and I tend to do our grocery shopping either Monday or Friday morning. During the school year, it’s Sunday. Reliable and straightforward.
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): With the upcoming announcements for Guild Wars 2, I’m really beginning to worry about how far behind I am. I basically stopped playing the story at the start of the pandemic so that I could complete it after they added the voice acting back in. But you know how hard it is to overcome inertia and I just haven’t been motivated enough to go back to it. So now that I can see something new is really on the way I need to get caught up. I might also try to get some Crowfall time in. With the New World beta I haven’t had the time to do both but I need to just focus on one for now.
Bonus: My SO is fantastic and almost always picks up groceries during the day. If not though, we’ll go Sunday as a fam.
Tyler Edwards (blog): I’m trying to finally finish the last of the DLC in Dungeons 3, and I might play a little Magic: Legends while I still can.
Bonus question: Ideally around midday on a weekday. Usually less crowded.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
