WRUP: A partial list of elves I have slain recently edition

Still miss the combo here.

Lord Algernon Everfell Boughslice of the Ninth Host: This dude was just the absolute worst so I challenged him to an elf duel. He chose to fight me with his elf rapier and his elf parrying dagger. I used my elf assault rifle. He said that was cheating but it worked pretty well from where I’m standing.

Winnifred Frostborne, the Icy Grip: Our spells clashed in an epic duel of massive proportions before my magic overwhelmed her and we gripped hands together as the life ebbed from her, it was hella touching and romantic but in a badass kind of way. You won’t get this kind of ending to a story about hobbits, I tell you what.

Mister Elfpants of Elf: Cruising down the street in my elf low-rider I had the urge to perform a drive-by shooting. Does that sound odd to you? Here’s the secret: Elf lands are actually exactly like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas’ pastiche of mid-90s Los Angeles. That’s right. As soon as you turn your back all of us elves are blasting some suckas.

Todd: Freaking Todd.

Winnifred Frostborne’s sister or something: No idea where she came from, I just roasted her in the comments of What Are You Playing and then I got a letter saying my insult destroyed her elf gland. She needed that to stay an elf. She’s in Detroit now, I think.

Bonus question: When have you learned about something minor but upsetting that you would have been happier not knowing?

Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I’m planning to do the global version of the Hoenn Tour, but between Niantic’s shenanigans and weather issues, it may be tough. I still haven’t hit the new Mario Kart 8 DLC, so I may make time for that, or get back on track with dailies in Splatoon 3 and Pokemon Violet.

As for the bonus question, it’s politics. Always politics. That being said, while I may have been happier not knowing, I still feel it’s in my best interest to be informed since I try to share that knowledge with fellow voters and even a few people that ended up voting after several of us mentioned issues that concerned them.

Andy McAdams: I’m not super sure this weekend. Maybe some World of Warcraft, but I’m at 20 minutes per day feeling like a good amount to be playing for me right now. I’ve had some Minecraft urges, and played a fair amount of Subnautica: Below Zero, but the game crashed and I lost about 2hrs of progress which made not-quite-rage quit, but I definitely walked away for a minute.

Bonus: Figs are one of my favorite fruits, and I found out they are pollinated by fig wasps, and they die inside the fig, and then the fig secretes an enzyme that digests the dead wasp. I’m not clear if it’s all figs and fig wasps that are like this, but I think about wasps every time I bite into a fig now.

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): My fam’s down to just one of us sick, so I’m home again this weekend, and I’ll likely tool around in Lord of the Rings Online. I haven’t made any real progress this week (super distracted), so I gotta get in there.

About an hour ago, somebody in my birdsite timeline posted a video of a praying mantis expelling a parasite half its size from its own body and I did not need to learn about any of that at all.

Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): Kind of mentally wandering all over the place game-wise, but most of my interests fall into VR stuff, such as No Man’s Sky, Elite Dangerous, or OrbusVR. I also want to continue working my way through the star chart in Warframe, and I’ve been pondering a return to Genshin Impact simply to feed the random, specific urge to play an anime MMO.

Like I said: mentally wandering all over the place.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Some Final Fantasy XIV here and there, but for the most part what I want is a calm weekend and what I’m getting is a pretty busy one. So it’ll be little snippets of stuff between a lot of activity. That’s got to be all right, I suppose.

I honestly would have been a lot happier without knowing that there’s a whole lot of evidence that Koko the gorilla couldn’t actually talk. I would have been even happier not knowing that a lot of the apes used for research into speech with gorillas were hideously abused. I guess the bright side is there’s lots of interesting science to look at?

Mia DeSanzo (@neschria): I am winding up week two at a new day job and my littlest kiddo has a birthday, so my plan is to play the new No Man’s Sky expedition and eat cake.

Sam Kash (@thesamkash): I’ve been playing Shadowverse this week. It’s fairly solid and definitely has a lot going for it. I’m trying to play through the story a little before I commit to getting owned by professionals but I’ll need to jump into the deep end soon. Also I’m just doodling away here and there in Mortal Online 2. I don’t know exactly why, but I am.

Bonus: I read a thing about a person who said they had a mole on their head that was really itchy so they had it removed and it came back positive. So now all my moles itch and I think I might be dying faster than expected.

Tyler Edwards (blog): Some combination of New World and Anthem, I expect.

Bonus question: Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson) gives more money to the Church of Scientology than Tom Cruise does.

Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
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