MassivelyOP’s 2024 Golden Yachties: Best MMO puff piece that made everyone mad

December 25, 2024 4:00 PM

MassivelyOP’s not-so-serious end-of-the-year awards continue today with our award for the Best MMO puff piece that made everyone mad. The Golden Yachties series is our run of fauxwards, named in honor of somebody we’ve long forgotten from Old Massively who insisted that surely we make so much money that we’re typing MMO blog posts from a gold-plated yacht. (Joke’s on you; it was always silver. Gold is too heavy.)

And the winner is…

Ranking Elder Scrolls Online’s races

If there’s one rule in MMO blogging, it’s that you never know when your random post is going to go viral. If there’s two, it’s that the pieces you slave over won’t get eyeballs. And if there’s three, it’s that you’re absolutely going to piss off a ton of people someday writing a puff piece, and you’ll never see it coming.

So it went with Justin’s Tamriel Infinium back in March, when he got cheeky with a race-ranking and put Elder Scrolls Online’s Imperials, Orcs, and High Elves on the bottom and Argonians on the top because, you know, lizard people are cool. I should’ve warned Justin ahead of time that Elder Scrolls lore is serious business because our commenters were mad, Reddit was mad, social media was mad. How dare you impugn my favorite made-up video game race from the ’90s, sir!

Obligatory!

Want to nominate another winner? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to check out our serious MMO awards while you’re at it, or skim through our past “winners”: 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015.