In the latest installment of space shooty-bits, we find out that the eponymous Last Jedi is actually a dude named Ralph because Luke Skywalker quit. (We see that scene in a flashback. He walks into Ralph’s office and tells him that he can take the job and then perform anatomically unlikely acts upon himself.) Ralph tries to hire Rey as another Jedi, but Rey fails the written portion because she cannot identify the parallels between two different Robert Frost poems in 500 words and she keeps misspelling Kashyyk.
Not the wookiee homeworld; that’s Kashyyyk. This is a different planet that’s spelled Kashyyk. Totally different thing.
Elsewhere, Kylo Ren asks Finn to teach him how to dance because otherwise Mean Mister Snoke is going to tear down the rec center if Kylo Ren doesn’t win the big county dance-off with a $2,000 prize. Finn responds by piloting the Evangelion into the rec center, proclaiming no one gets to have it. Then Captain Kirk and Boba Fett get married and fly off on a pegasus. It’s the feel-good something of some time period or another. Let us know what you’re up to down in the comments of this week’s What Are You Playing, and don’t actually drop spoilers there because that’s being a jerk.
​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): It’s console party weekend for me, so while Pokemon Go will probably happen at some point, I’m looking forward to some Super Smash Bros for Wii U, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, maybe some Marvel vs Capcom 3 and other local multiplayer games. I also gotta make time for Final Fantasy XIV because even if I haven’t bought it, the game lets me pursue that Santa Bear mount that I didn’t realize I need.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): Realistically, I won’t get to play jack – I’m deep in the throes of trying to finish dozens of articles and prep for the holiday. This is exactly why I never get to see any of the winter events! Just too busy. I got a bunch of stuff patched up on my laptop though, so we’ll see. I’ve kinda been itching to go back to The Elder Scrolls Online.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): I’m actually going to see The Last Jedi on Saturday, but otherwise I’ll be playing FFXIV, World of Warcraft, and at long last NieR: Automata. That last one has nothing to do with online functionality, but it’s a sequel to a franchise I quite enjoy.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): I’m kind of picking and choosing which holiday content to pursue, but Lord of the Rings Online’s new winter elk mount has me eager to do Winter-home all over again. I’m having a lot of fun with my Hunter in World of Warcraft, trying to get to level 10 in Dungeons & Dragons Online to do the new Ravenloft expansion, and am slowly climbing the Orochi Tower in Secret World Legends.
Your turn!
