The Daily Grind: What’s the exact MMO character you would never play?

While I typically love character creation screens in RPGs, when it comes to MMOs, I find that I limit myself more often than not. The thought of spending hundreds of hours with a character means that I become a lot more cautious about creating someone that I’ll end up hating. So there are typically some classes, playstyles, races, and genders that I won’t touch because I have this “long-term investment” mentality in mind.

But when I’m only dipping into a game for a little bit, I get a lot more wild with my character choices. Handlebar moustaches on an axe-wielding brute in Elder Scrolls Online? Sure, why not! And I enjoy the change of pace, even though this is a character I wouldn’t play in the long run.

What’s the exact MMO character you would never play? Create a description of that character and tell us why it’s a polar opposite to your typical choices!

Every morning, the Massively Overpowered writers team up with mascot Mo to ask MMORPG players pointed questions about the massively multiplayer online roleplaying genre. Grab a mug of your preferred beverage and take a stab at answering the question posed in today’s Daily Grind!
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81 Comments on "The Daily Grind: What’s the exact MMO character you would never play?"

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Hikari Kenzaki

Evil, Dark, Gritty, Extreme Broody Races with Horns and Tusks and Spikes jutting out of places they ought not jut out of… That’s one.

The sexy child class/race. Many have said it. It’s not about size or build… it’s about the character model and the attitude. Blade and Soul Lyn are examples of full on Loli characters I just won’t touch.

People point to Asura in GW2 as a good example of a small character. I wish we’d get access to the Shai in BDO, because in game, they’re adults and not cute, but I could see the player base abusing them so I understand why they aren’t allowed.

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Alex Willis

I thought I would never play “cute” races until I played GW2’s Asura. Totally turned my head around on that one. Now I’m a bit more open-minded. (Because that universe does not portray that race as either cutie-pie *or* “good”.)

Probably my biggest reservation in character selection are pet/follower classes. I have yet to play an MMO where they are really good. I’m not someone who metagames too much, but the math is almost never good with pets. Devs always seem reluctant to do justice to the notion of a truly powerful or dominant pets system.

My favourite characters are almost always bestial or “different” from human norm. So, my fav characters in the last 10+ years of MMO gaming have been Dwarves (so many Dwarves), Charr, Asura, Argonians, Giants, Orcs.

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Iridescence

Anything furry/animal based. Just seems ridiculous to me. Also little kid races (yuck).

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nobleeinherjar

I just can’t bring myself to play a character with “silly” options that don’t necessarily fit into the world of whatever MMO I’m playing. I’ve never been able to “let go” and get wild like that. Even if it’s something like a Saints Row game.

I usually don’t play female characters or reptilian/dragon-esque races.

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Jokerchyld

I can’t play female characters. I can identify with them as a male myself. Which is why I HATE gender locked MMOs.

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Gordi_the_mighti

Small and cute is generally not gonna happen. Just not my style and I dont like being crotch night with the majority of the population.

If anything besides human is avaialable, then I will not play a human. I am a human in real life why would i want to play one in game if I dont have to.

Elf. Enough said. The exclusive reason I can not play a demon Hunter in wow.

No restrictions on class as long as I find it fun.

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Gooty

– Dude characters (i did make a giant male Charr in GW2 that is a mule character)
– A class that is ONLY support/healer/tank (Please don’t make me solo mobs as a healer)
– Lolis. Just… just no.
– Beast races. Nothing against them, I just can’t commit to playing one.
– Anything overly sexualized without an options to change that. Giant boobs bouncing with armorkinis… just not my thing lol.

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greyformat

I gravitate towards healer/support roles for the most part, they tend to keep things fresh in ways a dps class can’t. I also seem to have developed a love for small cute characters (yes even child-like) and the realm of cross-dressing. Not sure if it’s a matter of desensitization or if it’s showing some inner reflection of myself (read: youthful days playing MMOs and not taking the world so seriously). Either way, it’s increased my standards on what MMOs I would play, which has greatly helped in dividing my time towards hobbies.

On the no-no list:

Paladins in general (thanks D&D, you turned a paragon of good and justice into an abomination on the values of being a good person).
Gender-locked races and classes, I find them lazy and defiant of all common sense. The idea of only a race of busty cat-girls getting exclusive access to guns, or requiring a natural beard to cast magic, to be on the highest caliber of bullshit in MMO design (I especially hate when they try to lampshade it in-game).
Female characters, but only if they were changed that way from Male. Kind of hurts the cross-dressing thing, plus being called a lady when my character was a dude first (and was regarded as such) is a big deal-breaker. I’m all about character consistency.
I try to avoid playing human characters if I have that choice, this is a hobby of escapism after all. May as well play a fuzzy critter that kills people, or perhaps an elf-hobbit.

shazanti
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shazanti

My character choice no-no list:
Male characters (I feel more comfortable playing my own gender in MMOs)
Large/oversized characters (just feels awkward)
Overly childlike female characters (especially if they’ve been made ‘sexy’, because EWW)
Full-on single-role healers/tanks (feels too constrained, I prefer to have options)

So, I have no idea how to combine all that into one particular character I would never play. My usual choices are: Female (of course), average sized to short (but not tiny), no particular racial preference (provided they’re not too tall or otherwise on my no-no list), and of a hybrid or multi-purpose support class. My favorite class of all, however, is seldom found in MMOs, despite it being a class choice in most every one: the rogue. My rogues have to have more to do than just DPS. (DDO is one that I played that just about nailed it- sure, DPS, but also: Stealth! Traps! Lockpicking! GLEE! LotRO’s Burglars were good too, with their Tricks.)

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Crowe

I prefer healers and support roles more than anything else. Rogues/stealth-based characters are on the opposite end of that spectrum for me. While I can occasionally find something rogueish that appeals (usually some variation on a bard theme), I rarely enjoy playing rogues for anything else. I’m just rarely interested in max DPS.

K38FishTacos
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K38FishTacos

Tried to play a gnome rogue in wow a few times, but just couldn’t do it.

I never roll humans if there are other options. I always like the so-called beast races: Taurens, Argonians, etc.

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Crowe

Yeah, I do my best not to roll a human if the stats don’t suffer too much and/or racial abilities don’t screw me up too badly. After all, I roleplay a human the rest of the time so I don’t need that in my gaming if other options are feasible.

Zariarn
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Zariarn

Female characters and/or full healer classes

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Castagere Shaikura

Females
giants
elves
dwarfs
loli’s
Melee characters

K38FishTacos
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K38FishTacos

I don’t even want to play games with the lolis in them

Cadaver
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Cadaver

I can’t imagine ever seriously playing a Lizardman in a MMO. But back when I was into ESO I rolled up a bunch of Argonian mules and they were by far my most diverse and characterful avatars. I was aiming for a kind reptilian Joey Ramone with the first one. It didn’t really pan out, but that was more due to the limitations of the chargen than a lack of effort and imagination on my part.

Class-wise I avoided rolling up mages for the longest time, haunted by the memory of a few bad 1d4 hp rolls in AD&D. I’m not fond of pet classes as a rule and I have a marked aversion to blunt weapons (crushing damage is so inelegant).

So I guess my ‘polar opposite’ would be a hammer-wielding reptilian wizard with a pet. Riding a rainbow unicorn he won from a lockbox. I hate all that over-sexualized bs that eastern mmos thrive on, so dress him in a chainmail bikini with thigh-boots and stockings, the curve of his scaley arse winking cheekily through his short, flapping buttcape. Bookend his name with a few underscores and x’s, and he’s good to go.

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JonBuck

I’m the type of altiholic MMO gamer that will try as many race/class combinations as he can. But I tried to play the Necromancer in GW2 and I just couldn’t. I hate zombies. Hate hate hate.

Also, childlike races. I don’t care if they just look that way and they’re Really 700 Years Old. No. Just no.

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Tia Nadiezja

Men. Spent nearly 30 years playing a man. It was awful.

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RandomizedKirbyTree47

Similarly, I won’t play a character who experiences romantic attraction. I tried pretending to be straight and it was not fun.

K38FishTacos
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K38FishTacos

Sounds like a novel in here somewhere.

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Tia Nadiezja

“Tia was transgender and born to a dangerously conservative household.”

A tale in a sentence.

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Bruno Brito

Hope you’re all ok nowadays. If you’re true to yourself, it’s all right.

Be strong! C:

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Crowe

/salute
I wish I could come up with a cool sentence that sums me up. Sadly, I think I could but it would just be a really boring sentence. So I’m not going to!

cambruin
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cambruin

1. Anything small
2. Anything feminine
3. Anything Asian

hurbster
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hurbster

Charr, because fuck those evil wankers.

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Crowe

Heh, nice. I loved the concept of the Charr and so much of the story (read one of the books pre-GW2 launch). But something about actually playing a Charr made me prefer playing a human. I never really figured that one out.

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Utakata

Here’s several of my somes…

1) Any large playable race or species if I can.
2) Anything that emphasises toxic masculinity.
3) Classes that have no mitigation policies.
4) Characters that are too conservative.
5) Boring looking appearances.
6) Toons that are too traditional in fighting styles.
7) Games that have no pink or pigtail options.

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Crowe

I think most of us here would be disappointed by anything less from you!

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Utakata

My pigtails have high standards. <3

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Gene Elder

I refuse to play Paldins. Even in hearthstone, i sell every paladin card i get. I had a bad experience with a paladin in my early gaming and just said no.

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Crowe

Long story but an old friend introduced me to WoW (back in the day) and she was a die-hard Hordie but our group had started en masse on Alliance. We were all making characters at about the same time while on voice chat and someone asked about paladin and she just launched into a 10 minute anti-paladin speech (she was a PvP’er and detested the bubble/hearth combo). Everyone picked their classes and started out fine… but I remember her squawk when she realized me (her RL friend) had backed out of playing a priest and switched to paladin specifically because of her rant. Oh man, it was so fun to position my character right in front of her before we started dungeons and pop a bubble and then click the hearthstone… (and break cast right before leaving). Good memories!

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starbuck1771

I have no such issues Justin. I give every character class a fair shake and I just play the ones I like. I revisit the classes I don’t like in the future to see if they have changed.

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Loopy

There are couple of archetypes that i generally avoid:

1. Loli-style races. Just no.
2. Female characters. I immerse myself into games, as an extension of my fantasy. I can’t play a character that i just don’t myself as.
3. Sneaky rogue-type classes. My play style usually revolves around being a stalwart protector, a powerful sorcerer, or a holy healer. Sneaking around in shadows was never appealing to me.
4. Grimdark characters. Emo is just not my style, which means i generally avoid dark/death knights, demon-style classes, vampires, and other dark themes.
5. Ridiculous-looking appearances. I try to immerse myself into the game, and zika virus looking characters with afros and pink sunglasses has 0 place in that fantasy.
6. Monks and other martial-arts characters. Not appealing whatsoever, and this extends to the theme of the game as well.

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Utakata

There’s 2 extra couples in their. o.O

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Loopy

Once i started thinking about them, a lot more than a couple came rushing in ;)

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Stormwaltz

An orc mage that tanks.

I prefer low/medieval fantasy, so I almost never play mages (a LotRO Loremaster is the lone exception since 1999). I don’t enjoy grouping, so playing a tank is boring at best; it takes longer to kill anything. And the “traditional” design of orcs — bald green weightlifter-bros with oversize tusks — is completely unappealing to me.

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flamethekid .

the bearded giant manly man with a bigass Warhammer shouting Leroy Jenkins with his oversized muscles

lean is the way to go when I make a character that’s why my friends always tend to call my mmo characters skinny

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Duane Does not check email

sorry if offended… jiggly boobs

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Utakata

That’s hard to do in some games. Even with slider down on flat, you just end up with a jiggly ribcage. :(

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Schmidt.Capela

Not to mention how common jiggling plate armor is.

François Verret
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François Verret

This looks exactly like the kind of character Mr. Biscuit would never play.

pepperzine
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pepperzine

I’ll try pretty much any race and class combo, the only thing I will never play is a female character (regardless of gender locked classes). I have zero desire to play a game with online interactions as the opposite gender of my own. Due to my sexual orientation, the normal sex appeal that draws people to do so doesn’t have the same affect on me.

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mistressbrazen

Oh, let’s see: orcs, elves, dwarves, cows….have I missed any of the fantasy ones? I just can’t. I mean, what does an elf even think about? Bah. I never play healer, although I did at the end make a healer build in TSW, I never actually used it to heal anyone other than the person I traditionally quested with.

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Conner Plays

Base-ass normal lookin’ Humans. I can never understand why people play them when you have such wonderful options like, Orcs, Plant People or, hell, undead people!

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CasualSlacks

In Eastern MMOs, I avoid childlike races whether they be little furry people with huge sympathetic eyes or sexy school girls. Not interested. The juxtaposition of cutesy kids and the mass murder that I commit in every MMO I play doesn’t fit. I see loli and I say nope.

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Boom

If it laughs like this then NO

An I will want to drop kick the computer out the window

misterpiece84
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misterpiece84

Vanilla WoW’s had this “toy” that would force everyone around to do the “/train” emote. I think they ended up removing it, only to add it years later when, not being a novelty any more (or maybe because players were not all stacked up in Ironforge but in their garrisons) people stopped abusing it.
Gnome’s /train was just mental…

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mistressbrazen

That would be SUPER annoying.

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Ariel Domen

The ultra’feminized’ barbie girl ones that look dumb. Orcs. And I’ve never played dwarves but I don’t rule them out I guess, they can be interesting.

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Tutorix

I almost never play as a hobbit, halfling, or gnome. Too goofy. The guinea pig guys in Wildstar are OK though, I like the way they roll-jump.

I did think of a good Warcraft gnome rogue name — Knappers or Nippers or something, I’ve forgotten it now — if I remember it I might give it a try. Maybe with the right name it will work for me.

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Melissa McDonald

I’ll never be a dwarf anything. My elfy side finds that abhorrent.

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zoward

For races, I tend to avoid elves – mostly in LotRO but as a general rule in other games. They have this sort of elitist feel to them I could never reconcile myself with. I tend toward dwarves, hobbits, gnomes, or exotics (lizard-men, etc). I’m ambivalent about humans.

For classes: anything that heals or uses magic or whatever its equivaltnet is works for me. So much the better if it’s a hybrid class. I tend to avoid straight melee classes. There are a few ranged damage-dealing classes I enjoy playing, although I have yet to find one that’s as much fun as the one-shot kill sniping you can do on an archer in the single-player Elder Scrolls games.

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mysecretid

I get really bored playing the tough-guy fighter types.

Whether it’s the brooding big-guy with an axe in Fantasy MMORPGs, or the “badazz killurh” types who dress all in black and bristle with weaponry in modern and science-fiction MMORPGs, it all leaves me cold.

I play the games for more than just combat, so the whole “uber alpha male” bullshit bores me.

The toughest guys I’ve ever known in real life didn’t need to impress or intimidate anyone. They knew what they could do.

So yeah, no cliche tough guys for me anytime soon.

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Bruno Brito

Elves. Never again. Wouldn’t touch a Loli character with a 10-feet pole either.

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thalendor

I’ve rolled just about every type of character at one point or another with at least the intention of playing it long term. I’ve rolled tanks, healers, CC back when that was a thing and, yes, DPS too, though generally as alts. Male toons; female toons; even things I generally avoid like furries and small characters I’ve rolled at times — Wildstar’s Chua covers both. :-P Every type but one: the sneaky Rogue types. I’m glad they’re there for those that like them, but I can’t get into them and I just don’t grok ’em.

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MeltWithYou

Loli’s – avoid them like the plague.

Also Female characters BUT theres a reason behind this one…you see, I dont have anything against playing a female character, but Moonguard RP, Goldshire ERP ruined it for me forever. I remember low level questing and being followed on several occasions by some weirdos wanting to ERP…are you fkn kidding me? lol

Sorry, that stuff is just strange…

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imayb1

I think it’s good for males to play female characters for just this reason; they have the opportunity to see what females go through.

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Pandalulz

Human rogue. I hate stealth mechanics and I hate the boring blandness of generic humans. Give me a tiny melee tank to smash mobs in the face any day.

misterpiece84
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misterpiece84

Large characters; sadly.

I tried many times to play races like Taurens in WoW, or simply “giants” of one flavour or another. The problem is that, in MMOs at least, all have to run and move at the same speed to keep things fair, so the bigger the character model the slower the animation is and for me that’s a real buzz-kill.

The opposite is true for “short” races, although while I would enjoy play them because everything feels faster, being a bit of a fashionista, the fact that it is hard to spot details in shorter races throws me off a bit.

In the end I like to play the Average Joe of each game.

CapnLan
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CapnLan

I never play small characters. Taru/Lalafell from FF or Lyn from BnS are the types I avoid. I generally play larger buff dudes. I’ll play a female character if a specific concept I have calls for it, but I usually end up being a large dude.

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Hirku

Healers.

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rafael12104

Hmm. Never? You know what they say, never say never. Lol.

My experience has been a little different than what you describe, Justin. After hours and hours of gameplay, if come to find that I don’t like a character, I don’t count the time wasted. The investment isn’t in the character, it is in the time played. And playing time is a reward in and of itself. :)

I prefer to play characters that are not focused around what consider noncombat skills. Entertainers for example. It is a skill, yes, but there have been games that allow you to base your character on just entertaining and adventuring is second fiddle. That doesn’t work for me. I might be fun as an aside or an alt, but no, I wouldn’t put hours and hours into it because I’d rather be out on a quest.

Having said that, never say never. I’m a dabbler, a jack of all trades, but a master of none. And, in my experience, even the most mundane characters can be a great deal of fun when they are in their element.

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Tobasco da Gama

loli

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Victor Barreiro Jr.

I heard Marvelous killed you.

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Wolfyseyes

A pet class with any number of “funny” hairstyles.

I appreciate character hair being pretty well styled, but things like mohawks or high-and-tight anime spikes are a non-starter for me.

Pet classes, meanwhile, cause me no end of agitation. I have never seen a pet that has good AI. If I wanted to babysit a digital moron, I’d play The Sims…and at least in The Sims I’d enjoy watching them die of their own stupidity.

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Simon F

Honestly, it depends more on how the character/class is designed rather than anything else. For example, I hate all monks except Brewmaster in World of Warcraft. The others are good, but I just never managed to enjoy them, even when I was good at playing them.
As for rogue, I hate subtlety rogue, and I don’t find the new outlaw spec, even though combat spec was my favourite rogue spec before they changed it. Subtle differences just ruined it for me. Thankfully, assassination rogue is still really fun to me.

The most fun class to me is one that is good in all or most circumstances, instead of something like summoner in FFXIV where your damage is just complete ass if enemies die too quickly. Or that used to be the case, I haven’t played FFXIV in the most recent expansion, so I don’t know what things are like. Heavensward kind of relieved the issue by adding more burst to the job, but it didn’t fix the core problem.

Still, the main thing is, there’s not really a class I’d never play. However, there are classes which I really dislike due to design choices, not due to concept.

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BalsBigBrother

Any character that requires me to be mean or evil when a game has an alignment system such as swtor is never going to be a long term character for me. Its just something I have never been able to do in any game even single player ones as it just doesn’t sit well with me.

Other than that I am pretty much anything goes though I guess I should mention I never go in thinking a character will be a long term investment. I always just play them for as long as I have fun however long or short that time period may be.

Cadaver
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Cadaver

I think I crossed some kind of personal, ethical gaming Rubicon the first time I (accidentally?) executed a scientist in Goldeneye. It was kind of horrifying at the time, but I had less of a problem playing evil after that. Cloying, earnest depictions of good (think Vette) can also make the dark side more alluring :)

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JonBuck

I played all my Imp characters Light Side. Felt it was more fun to go against type. And the LS choices generally weren’t Stupid Evil.

Nick Martin
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Nick Martin

Same for me, I like the gray area a lot more. I have a dark side character in TOR, but only one. Most are fuzzy, several are light. I’d rather play what’s true to what I have in mind…

The problem with the evil stuff in general is that it isn’t sustainable in a medium that tries to paint us as the heroes,

plasmajohn
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plasmajohn

The problem I have with the vast majority of “evil” plot lines is that they tend to be stupid-evil or evil for the sake of evil even if it not in my best interest. This is particularly true for SW:TOR’s world stories.

The Inquisitor storyline has a much more thoughtful style where the DS choices are generally good self-serving choices. I did make a LS choice here and there notably

Spoiler
I let Talos take holos in the crypt on Hoth.

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Victor Barreiro Jr.

I tried Darkside Jedi. I don’t have it in me to be darkside anything. :/ Sorta.

In the real world, maybe I’ll step on an ant here and there, but then I’d have to kill its entire family to cover up the crime… but that’s all.

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Zen Dadaist

Something very simple and boring, like a hulking brute that uses a large sword or fists to solve every problem by repeatedly bashing the other party over the head. Very slow characters also put me right off: slow movement speed, slow animations, cast times or wind-ups. Characters without a powerful trick up their sleeve until late game also irritate me because getting them -to- said endgame becomes a painful slog. Very narrowly defined characters without much flexibility, or otherwise one-trick ponies like a mage with one huge death spell and… not much else.

And yeah mustaches. Yuck :p

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Ysayle was right

Human. Male. Warrior.

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imayb1

This is exactly the one thing I’ll never play. The whole ‘default’ of this character concept is just a snore.

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