Back in 1844, a man named Michael Harrington took over a small storefront in Queens, NY with a simple goal: To serve gullible idiots the most disgusting slop he could for ridiculously high prices and convince them that it was a new taste sensation. He would serve lettuce out of dumpsters and sometimes just things he picked out of his teeth at night. That’s why he was known to the public at large and to the state prosecutors as “Rancid Mike.”
We’ve come a long way since Old Rancid Mike first got his start in Queens, but her at Old Rancid Mike’s Vile Garbage Salad, we still like to bilk you idiot rubes for every dime you’re worth just like he did. We still make our salads the same way, by taking every scrap of refuse we can and shoving it into a bowl. But thanks to advances in technology, we can now be certain that none of the slimy and half-rotted swill we toss in front of your gaping chewers is legally considered food poisoning. And we can afford attorneys now, so if you try to point out that our establishment is unsafe, we will sue you until you have to get a bank loan to take a subway.
Old Rancid Mike’s Vile Garbage Salad. Just the trash that Mike used to resell as food. Available in Caesar, Classic, Spoiled Ranch, and What Are You Playing flavors in unmarked vans outside of your local grocery store.
Bonus question: How do you like your coffee? Yes, coffee specifically, and yes, feel free to say “I don’t like coffee in any form.”
Andy McAdams: This weekend will be The Elder Scrolls Online and Minecraft; we subbed to Realms for a month for a shared world and I’m rediscovering and discovering all the new stuff they’ve added. Also I just love TESO.
To quote my mother, “Andy likes his coffee black, like his soul.” Thanks, Mom.
Ben Griggs (@braxwolf): I’ll probably play a little TESO for Witches Festival goods and enhanced XP.
At home, I like to grind Starbucks winter blend beans and take it with a spoon of sugar and 2 tablespoons of French vanilla creamer. At work, I blend 2/3 French roast with 1/3 something sweeter, either cinnamon or caramel macchiato, a bit of half/half and two packets of Splenda. Now I want coffee.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’ve kinda been back dabbling in Star Wars Galaxies Legends this week, so I’ll probably do some more of that this weekend, and maybe some City of Heroes.
Love to smell coffee; don’t like to drink it. I’m a tea person.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): Seeing as I leveled the classes I want to in Final Fantasy XIV (Dancer and Ninja), I’m kind of putting that one aside until 5.1, which is good because Dauntless is dressing up for Halloween and I want to fly around in Star Citizen some more. I’ll also be peeking into The Outer Worlds for my palate cleanser.
I take my coffee with a decent amount of flavored creamer. My favorite is effectively sweetened milk, but I also like me some mocha or pumpkin spice or hazelnut.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Just a wee bit of wrapping things up in FFXIV before the patch, but I’m not quite sure other than that; probably a bit of single-player stuff? I don’t know yet, I don’t think I really want to go through the soul-crushing bad run of Code Vein right now.
When I drink coffee, which isn’t often, I prefer it chilled with plenty of sugar and cream. Ironically, I love the flavor of coffee more than the beverage.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): I’ve been dabbling in FFXIV this week to see if I’m ready to give this game another shot. Probably will work on my Lord of the Rings Online progression character and maybe some of The Witcher 3.
Mia DeSanzo (@neschria): I am going to do a little bit of digital detox this weekend, so I won’t be playing anything. I do plan to do some prep work for NaNoWriMo though. On paper, like it’s the 1900’s.
I occasionally drink coffee black, but my husband likes a very strong dark roast, so I usually put milk or milk and sugar in it. In fact, I prefer milk and just enough sugar to take the edge off the bitterness most of the time.
Samon Kashani (@thesamkash): I’ll be logging in for my Halloween dailies in Guild Wars 2 and playing ArcheAge Unchained as time permits.
I love coffee. I might be 25% coffee at this point. I’ll drink it black if there’s no creamer around but I do love a touch of cream too cut the bitterness, but without covering up the coffee’s own flavor. Fresh ground only, please!
Tina Lauro Pollock (@purpletinabeans): I’ll be playing “don’t sleep because you are awaiting some Very Important, Overdue Work Emails™ and have become an ill wreck”, with a spattering of Guild Wars 2, Overwatch, and TwoPoint Hospital to chase anxious insomnia. Or maybe The Sims… that’s some fantastic guilty pleasure escapism right there.
I take all the coffee. All. Of. It. Preferably a 5-shot latte or a really good black americano, but I drink all sorts.
Tyler Edwards: Hoping to finish up Moons of Madness, if I can get past this miserable stealth section. Beyond that, perhaps some Mass Effect: Andromeda.
Bonus question: Coffee tastes like drinking an ash tray, and I don’t understand why anyone willingly subjects themselves to that experience. I’m fairly skeptical of hot beverages in general, though. I like the occasional mug of chai tea or some hot chocolate, but that’s about it.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
