When you need to alleviate your woes of money, either because you find your electric bill is too high or you owe good money to the duke’s son for services a fortnight past, you can use this incredibly horrifying trick. Stomp your feet not once, not twice, but thrice, then whisper the name of your love into the ear of a pregnant sow. The sow will cry out, and you must then punch the beast twice in the jaw, enduring any injury it inflicts upon you without tears or harsh words.
Armed with the blessing of pain, march to the Bone Woods, where none dare go when the sun passes beneath the horizon. Therein, follow the trail left by the bones of squirrels, but do not be waylaid by the jealous Wolf Goddess, for she will try to deceive you into her waiting jaws. At the end of the trail lies the heart of the forest, but that necromantic burden will curse you and blacken your flesh even as it provides you with a monthly stipend and a discount on all debts, federal, local, personal, or eldritch.
Then let us know that you have done this deed in What Are You Playing. Also tell us the video games you’ll be playing this weekend, for fun.
Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): I still have E3 stuff to deal with, a little jet lag, and dealing with my transition back to America relatively soon, so game wise, I might be lucky if I can get in match of Hearthstone or Overwatch, though it’s been awhile since I did either. I barely had time to claim my spots in Landmark, so I may just log in to make sure they don’t disappear before I apply my terrible terraforming skills on that!
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I’m basically playing Ultima Online and The Elder Scrolls Online right now; I’m doing some character skill-shuffling in UO and contemplating buying another character slot. I also had a hankering to play my Siege character, but that will wear off once I recall the grind of it. In ESO, I’ll be noobing around with my husband this weekend. Hooray, Skyrim Online.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog):Aside from my usual stew of Final Fantasy XI and Final Fantasy XIV, my wife caved early on the Steam Sale and bought Big Pharma, then roped me in as well. So that’s in the mix, along with a few other single-player titles I’d like to work through.
Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): It is time. I have put it off for far too long, so this weekend I will dive into the darkness underneath the Black Pyramid in The Secret World. I’m fully expecting to stumble over MJ’s bones in the process.
MJ Guthrie (@MJ_Guthrie, blog): Now that I am moved and my computers are all set up, I finally get time to game! So I am going to be diving into everything I can, really. My plans are to be back to building in Landmark, farm a little in ArcheAge, look for prophecies in Path of Exile, collect cake in Marvel Heroes, beat around a few bushes in Black Desert Online, look back in on Lord of the Rings Online, have a little fun in HEX, and search for more lore in The Secret World. In my spare time I will also play some Dishonored. Maybe I can fit in some Mechwarrior Online, EverQuest II, and Chronicle: RuneScape Legends, but that that might be pushing it a bit! Let’s see how many things I do manage to accomplish before the weekend is out.
Patreon Pierre: Continuing my pilgrimage in Final Fantasy XI. This game has really changed and very well adapted its gameplay to the inevitable decreasing population IG. Even if it were a MMO promoting grouping, 90% of the game is now really playable and enjoyable solo. Many elder MMOs could learn from how SE managed this game getting older. I stopped playing The Elder Scrolls Online because I had to dedicate time to The Longest Journey, but I will certainly go back to TESO soon. It’s just that after the final book of Dreamfall Chapters finally arrived, I decided to play the complete trilogy of TLJ to Dreamfall, and started from the very beginning of the saga (obviously). I hope you have a great weekend, MOP readers. Cheers!
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