WRUP: Gotta go fast edition

    
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Go, go, go, go, gotta go fast. No, fast. I said fast. You call that going fast? You’re going slow. Stop slowing down. You have to go fast. Fast. Do you even… what is wrong with you? Don’t stop there. Don’t sniff something. Are you falling asleep? Go fast.

Oh, no, no, no. This can’t be happening. You’ve gotta go fast. Why are you not going fast? I will chase you with a taser if you don’t start going – wait! Yes, yes, you’re going fast now! Keep going fast! You’re going fast right… to… that convenience store. And you’re hiding and talking to the cashier, and… yep, he’s pointing at me, he’s calling someone. It’s probably the cops.

This isn’t good. You don’t understand, officer. Going slow isn’t an option. You’ve got to go fast. Faster. Please, don’t hit me in the face with a nightstick. Look, if you just look at the comments of What Are You Playing, it will all make sense. Please. You’ve got to go fast.

​Andrew Ross (@dengarsw): Sleep’s a game, right? No? Hmm, well, probably I’ll play a little Pokémon Go at the least. A government landmark which houses a gym and only opens once a month is generally one of the few times I can meet other Pokémon Go players here, but it’s getting a bit depressing since spoofers have been fighting over it during its closed periods. Oh well, might embrace some Mario Kart 8 Deluxe when I’m not working or taking Mom out for Mother’s Day.

Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): I FELL INTO A TIME PORTAL TO 1997. NO. MORE LIKE 2007 IF WE’RE BEING HONEST. ULTIMA ONLINE HAS KIDNAPPED ME. SEND HELP.

Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Crap, I’m heading to California on Monday. I guess I’ll need to get some relaxing time with Final Fantasy XIV and Final Fantasy XI this weekend, I won’t have a chance to do so much next week. Of course, considering the data center is moving anyhow, that was kind of a given.

Justin Olivetti (@Sypster, blog): This is the last weekend for Star Wars: The Old Republic’s huge XP boost, so I feel compelled to take advantage of that or else lose out on some easy advancement. Otherwise, probably more Lord of the Rings Online scavenger hunts and plunking away at Guild Wars 2’s personal story with my Engineer.

MJ Guthrie (@MJ_Guthrie, blog): I will be popping in my regular survival games, but most of my time is going to be dedicated to EverQuest II and The Secret World this weekend. I want to check out EQII’s competition modes, and I have to start looking at what my 100 Fury needs gear-wise, as well as maybe decide what race/class I want for the free 100! In The Secret World I want to go through all my items and make sure all clothing cosmetics and pets are claimed and not sitting in bags so they can (hopefully) transfer to Secret World Legends. Also, I have 10 more sabotage missions to complete to get my The Unseen achievement, so I need to shake a leg on that.

Your turn!

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