Do you hear me, David? This has gone on long enough between us. I can see the snipers, and you know that if they take their shot that the artillery will not be kind to them or you. Tell them to stand down.
That’s better. Now let’s talk terms. You cannot beat me, David Letterman. You know that. But I’m capable of being magnanimous. Here’s the deal. First, I give you back half of your Warren Zevon albums. Just half. Then I let you walk away.
Yes, I think you’re going to walk away. This doesn’t make us even, David. Not even close. You insulted my cat. That is over the line. But the only reason that I’m willing to let everything slide – insulting my cat, insulting Harvey Pekar, the thing with the baguettes, and even the car accident – is that I burned your legacy. Straight down to the ground.
Let’s call it a truce, Letterman. Take Paul Shaffer and the CBS Mercenaries with you and skedaddle. You can probably make a very good living hosting El Espectáculo TardÃo down in Mexico. Now put down your piece and walk away, or I swear by the comments in What Are You Playing that I will burn you like I burnt your archival footage.
How’s that for a stupid human trick?
Bonus question: What was your most unpleasant birthday you can remember?
Andy McAdams: World of Warcraft: Dragonflight has me pretty well enamored at the moment. I have no idea how long it will last, but I’m really enjoying this expansion. Not only is the gameplay itself really fun, the NPC/zone storytelling feels more self-aware and layered. A lot of the storytelling and the changes to the game, combined with the press coming out from Blizzard, has me feeling like the game has actually turned a corner, and that at least the WoW team is moving to be not be a disgusting cesspool of toxic bro-ness.
Nothing jumps out as particular bad as birthday, which like Bree says is probably a good thing.
Brianna Royce (@nbrianna, blog): Probably not much – it’s awards weekend, and I’ll be busy! I might get to dip into Lord of the Rings Online or Star Wars Galaxies Legends, but I don’t have my hopes up.
I’m sure I’ve had bad birthdays, but I can’t really remember one that stands out, which I’m going to consider a good thing.
Chris Neal (@wolfyseyes, blog): I’m going to try and focus up on my Guild Wars 2 goal of moving through core Tyria but it is proving kind of challenging, especially since Path of Fire is right there, winking at me. And speaking of focused grinds, there are some new goals I want to meet in Elite: Dangerous so I can maybe try to help fight off the Thargoids. Maybe.
Most of my birthdays have been quieter affairs than awful ones, but I guess the most disappointing would be my 21st, when I just bought myself my first alcoholic drink after my late night WalMart shift, drove home, and drank in silence.
Eliot Lefebvre (@Eliot_Lefebvre, blog): Got some alts to work on and various endgame things to do in WoW, got my usual things to do in Final Fantasy XIV, but I’ve had a busy week so I’ve… taken on two separate additional games to review this weekend! Ha. Ha ha. Why am I like this.
Worst birthday is a fun mystery! Was it the time I was sick as heck and wound up being sat down to watch George W. Bush being inaugurated? Was it when I was sick again and my mother took me to a low-rent Chinese buffet, then left partway through and stuck me with the bill? Was it the time my girlfriend broke up with me and literally stole from me in the process? Speculate amongst yourselves, and ask me about when I’ll have a birthday that leaves me older than my father ever was!
Sam Kash (@thesamkash): Super busy weekend for me over here. I imagine I’ll get my MultiVersus dailies but that’s it.
Bonus: When I was little, maybe six or eight or something, I had a birthday party at a play place and invited everyone from class and a few others. Basically no one showed up, maybe three kids. My mother consoled me by saying, “It’s okay, really. This is just a really busy time of year for most people.” That time of year was early February. For years I honestly believed that was true until I really thought about it and realized that no, in fact it’s not, just no one wanted to come play with me.
Every Saturday, join the Massively OP community and staff for What Are You Playing, our roundup of what MMORPGs and other games we’re hoping to play this weekend (with a bonus question or two for our amusement). Tell us what you’re up to! Go off-topic! And don’t forget to have fun!
